NewtC

Another month, another update. This time things are more hopeful, though finances are tighter than ever.

First off, the recording for Ruina's main script is complete! This is a massive 3 hour 24 minute script that will likely get longer as I begin editing the video together. There are also several sections where I want to have voice actors do their thing, and that will have to wait until later. For now, the next steps are doing a listen through and cleanup before applying any post production and rendering. Then we can start the actual editing process. I'm currently trying to figure out how to do post production on Linux, as it's a little different than Windows, but I'm confident that shouldn't take me more than a day.

Second, the heroism script is coming along nicely. I've got a decent idea of the angle I'm approaching this video from. I'm still uncertain on how well these sort of videos will work out in general. I'm looking forward to the results. Since this video will rely mostly on clips from various anime I expect it to be significantly easier to produce, but it might run into some copyright problems. We'll see how that works out when we get to production. I'm intending the focus of this to be on To Be Hero X, Clevatess, and Sentenced to be a Hero, all of which are very directly focused on the ideas of heroism from different angles.

Footage recording for The Alters, Tainted Grail and other games is going well, but I had a bit of a snag with my new environment. Turns out the desktop environment doesn't like mouse look very much, though I found workarounds this month and am more or less back to normal. The new PC is enabling far more work than I really have time for, and it's great to be able to dump massive amounts of footage into projects as needed. The Alters actually got a DLC that I didn't know about until recently, so I'll have to play through that.

As far as editing goes, I've still been putting that off and I need people to actually shame me into starting this. I'm serious. At this point I feel like I've become fairly complacent, as I keep using my editing bottleneck as the reason I can't put out videos. I just need to feel bad enough to overcome that obstacle and finally, at long last, put out anything. There is realistically not much reason why I can't put out the Alraune video for Ruina, except that I lost the footage and script which... let's be honest, isn't much of a reason. There wasn't much to begin with. And I can always just rewrite the script.

There are other setbacks, more realistic. I still can't really hire anyone right now. I'm actually in debt currently and losing money due to just making house and medical payments. That means anything where I would hire voice actors is straight out. This is why Stella still isn't released, which just... really sucks. Hoping for more stability as we approach the holidays and I can start earning all the moneys from holiday pay.

Identity fragmentation video is being pulled back again as I read through something I wasn't expecting: Land of the Lustrous. This manga series is so deeply tied into that idea of identity fragmentation that I couldn't just ignore it. The main character quite literally fragments over the course of the series, and I feel it would make a great center piece for the entire script.

Looking back at this update, I realize these are getting longer each time I make them. I keep feeling like I haven't been doing a lot, but I guess I'm getting more done than I thought. As always, I'm immensely grateful to everyone who's been patiently waiting for the next big video. I know it's been a long several months. I know I haven't had much concrete to show for it. I keep expecting people to drop off in support, but to my surprise not many have. It's heartening to know that what I make does mean that much to you. Even if you do choose to leave, I've decided that anyone who supported me during this long production period (pretty much from the beginning of the year) will be included in the supporter list. It means that much to me. Thank you.

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 17

NewtC

July didn't go as I wanted it to for a few reasons. For one thing, the company I now worked for actually screwed up payments, meaning I was actually in the red just for existing for the first time since I started working with them. This has been fixed and payment has been sent now, but it was very stark for a few weeks when I started to think I was out of money entirely for my own projects. Luckily that's not actually the case, and I'm tentatively looking forward to more work this month without the use of money. Let's take a look at what I've been doing to reduce costs.

First, I've been putting genuine effort into learning to make my own digital art. I've been dedicating about an hour a day to learning how to use Krita, a free art program available for anyone. I've been making some actual decent progress and, while I don't enjoy showing my work often, I do post some of the better stuff on Discord for those who are interested. This is actually an attempt to learn how to draw for some of the upcoming Ruina shots I'll need.

Second, I've been recording the Ruina script. Honestly I should have done this sooner, but with the script at 50 pages after my editors looked at it, even I was intimidated by the sheer size. That intimidation is looking more reasonable after recording the first 15 pages of script came out to over an hour in length. The full Ruina script will likely be about 3 hours long, probably closer to 4. Unfortunately I'm also rerecording a lot of it right now due to the next topic.

Third, and definitely the best news: I have been gifted an entirely new PC! This is huge, as it allows me to record footage for many games I simply couldn't work on before now. I've been putting off so many projects because I just didn't have the capability to store the vast amount of footage I would need in order to make videos for them, but also because in some cases <cough> THE ALTERS <cough> I simple couldn't record footage with my PC specs. This opens up games like Tainted Grail: Fall of Avalon, Nobody Wants to Die and Cyberpunk 2077 to video topics, games that I've been indefinitely putting off until I could finally upgrade my PC. This hasn't been entirely upsides though. Switching to the new PC came at the cost of a lot of lost data, and right now that includes my entire Obsidian vault and the progress I was making on the Ruina recordings, along with my sound setup in Reaper and many of my custom recording settings in OBS. The Obsidian vault is the big hit here as that's a huge number of notes. Thankfully I think I can get some of it back with a little work, but it still stings quite a bit, and I suspect much of it is lost permanently, especially since I had the next Project Moon script on there.

Finally, I want to address the lack of progress on the Stella of the End video. I know at the end of June I said I hoped to have this out in early July. Obviously that didn't happen, and I mostly blame the lack of pay from my job for this. I was hoping to avoid voice acting costs by taking volunteers from the Discord, something I'm very hesitant to do, but that didn't end up panning out either. I'm going to be finally reaching out again this August to try and get this completed. It sucks because we know the lines we need, but casting new actors is always time consuming and a roll of the dice. Sometimes you get someone who fits the character well and other times it's hard to find a good fit. If anyone is interested in helping, you can message me in the Discord server.

As always, thank you everyone who has been supporting me. I've been constantly thinking about the lack of progress I have to show to all of you. I wanted to try and find more ways to thank you outside of just words, and as I improve in my artistic endeavors I thought of something a bit more concrete. I want to try and do the same sort of supporter avatars that I see other creators putting after each video. This serves multiple purposes. It lets me give back to all of you, it pushes me to actually show something publicly, and it gives me incentive to put a lot of time into improving my craft. I'm going to put this incentive at Campgrounds Guardian and start asking people in Members as well who want them. If you're interested, please let me know in Discord with a description of the sort of avatar you want. I'm not great, but I'm at least confident enough that I think I can put something together we might both like.

1 month ago | [YT] | 16

NewtC

Projects have not been going particularly well, but some progress has been made. The Stella of the End video has a draft 1 up for those with the correct tier to see it. I'm currently getting some voice acting done for that video so we might be able to get that out early next month.

Work has been recovering. I'm still financially in a weaker situation than I was previously, but thanks to my work actually giving holiday pay I have a few days where I'm making close to my old pay amount. My bike's saddle bags also broke recently so I've had to replace those and I'm simultaneously trying to upgrade my PC so I can actually record a few games I don't have the specs for.

Unfortunately a lot of this has come with a toll on my motivation. While I'm still putting effort into the scripts I'm writing, I know that once I finish them I can't do much. My lack of editing skills really shows, and is the main culprit to the lack of videos in the last two months. When I had the money to pay for editing it wasn't really an issue, but now I really just need to push through the learning process and I never liked editing much to begin with. I'm trying to learn Davinci Resolve, but I just need to put that time aside and do it. If anyone has any good tutorial videos, I'd love recommendations.

As always, I'm incredibly grateful to all of you who are supporting me even through these slow times. I do not blame anyone if they want to drop support due to the lack of releases or progress lately. The small amounts that I get from this do make a difference, but I will be able to survive without if I need to.

2 months ago | [YT] | 9

NewtC

Draft 2 of the Library of Ruina script is now complete! For draft 3, I'm opening it to members of my Discord server. I need more people to get eyes on it. Given the sheer size of the script, it's not a fast read. This will likely be my largest script for the foreseeable future, especially as I intend to return to smaller video topics in future. Videos like Lobotomy Corporation and Ruina, while easily my favorite projects, are too much of an investment in time and money for me right now. While I've restored my income significantly, it's enough to pay for bills, housing and food and not much else.

Until I can justify the cost of Ruina's production, I'm placing it on hold and working on those smaller projects. People are welcome to assist with the scripts, but know that I simply don't have the income and savings to burn it all on what is effectively a passion project, especially right now -- and I refuse to half-ass this. For context, Lobotomy Corporation cost over $3k. Money and time well spent, but not something I can keep up. I won't pretend that the US economy hasn't played a major factor in this either -- food and utilities are getting increasingly expensive, so I'm having to tighten my belt in more ways than just this.

6 months ago | [YT] | 16

NewtC

Draft 2 is coming along nicely, and is about halfway done. There are still some concerns with the final vision, but some areas were fleshed out quite well. I've also been sick for almost all of this month (I'm still a little sick) so hopefully once that finally clears up I can pick up speed.

For now though, I'm turning my attention to the second of my planned Members Only videos. We'll be taking a quick look at Phillip's various forms and how they play into his character and story progression. Originally, this was also going to be in the Ruina video, but like all of these members only videos it would have derailed things drastically. I still think it's important to cover though, as it's genuinely one of the most interesting ways PM has done storytelling in the series. Very rarely do we get to see a character in so many different forms throughout his time in a story, and that makes Phillip unique.

I'm going to leave you all with a small glimpse of something upcoming in the Ruina video. Feedback is very much appreciated, as I don't do poetry often but I thought it fit for the section this shows up in.

There once were four magical girls,
Holy guardians of the land.
They formed a pact of justice,
To stop what evil had planned.

The Magical Girl of Happiness
Gold and full of desire,
Spread joy, faith and power,
To push back the shadows dire

The Magical Girl of Justice,
Upholder of chivalry,
Stood for those done wrong,
A better world to see.

The Magical Girl of Love,
The brightest of the four,
Hunted down the wicked,
And protected those she adored

The Magical Girl of Courage
The furthest from the rest
With solid judgement and sound heart
Would judge the others best.

Together they were strong,
Each protected the other’s flaws
But when the jester came,
They failed to uphold the laws.

The Magical Girl of Happiness
Forever spreading joy,
Lost herself to her desire
And began to hoard her toys.

All that glittered, shined and shone
Were now her only thought
An eternity of greed
Was all that could be bought

Justice stood as a stalwart shield,
A knight of greatest fame.
But the protector’s role is forever writ
As the one to shoulder shame.

Those she protected would only remember
The faces of those she lost
And so despair began to cloud
All that was left was the cost.

Love’s light was inescapable,
And all evil touch abated.
Without a purpose with which to stand,
She was soon lost to hatred.

Good and evil, black and white
Her search was all in vain.
Without a foe to give her form,
A serpent became her bane.

The Magical Girl of Courage,
Found a friend among her foes.
Her trust rewarded not with love,
But an endless source of woes.

Betrayed and lost she wandered on
Her sins corroded her mind.
The failures inside ate at her soul
Until she left her form behind.

Their tale is told but is not done,
As we turn towards the clown.
For deep within Nihil’s heart
He drags the others down.

Within us all the joker stirs,
A reminder of the worst.
Why fight at all when the end will come.
So he always cursed.

But hope will always find a way.
Friends will come together.
When times are darkest and shadows dire,
We will take our measure.

Awoken again to right their wrongs
The girls return to the stage.
“The Magical Girl is here at last”
Their eternal war to wage.

7 months ago | [YT] | 13

NewtC

*Cries in too much Ruina*

Draft 1 is done. It's 47 pages long. A job has been found so I once more have cash flow, though a lot less than with my previous job. Production needs have been identified. I have no idea how in the world I'm going to fund this.

I'm so fudging tired.

Members will be getting another members-only video soon(TM) aka when I figure out where I'm sitting financially. There will be four total for Ruina, including the one that's already out.

Time to start editing draft 2.

8 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 20