Roses in Houston

Another expensive price I paid in life..let's talk about it.

Senior high-school photography is mind- blowing. Back home in Thailand, high school graduation doesn’t mean much, but boy it's a HUGE...HUGE thing in the US.

All these businesses are making a ton of money about high-school graduation. Marketing hypes from jackets, to photos, to prom dresses, to parties to who knows what else.

These days, there are professional studios with professional photoshoot scenes, makeup artists onsite for school photos.

Those photos literally are straight out from high-end fashion magazines. It's quite impressive really from smoking effects to props to many different lighting.

My school photos from 500 years ago look nothing like these photos. I'll call those classic and all-natural I guess.

Without thorough research on my part (talking about the price of ignorance!!), I was hit with a BIG surprise.

So there're two fee structures in the photography business (at least in the US) which I am aware of.

1) A session fee which only accounts for photographer's time to capture photos.

2) A package fee which includes photos, add-ons, sometimes editing fee.

But what I didn't know was the actual prices of their photo packages and options, I should have investigated.

I thought there would be many options at various price ranges to choose form.

Lesson learned: don't assume things ever 🤦‍♀️

So after taking like 500 photos (feels like it) from Noon to 5pm, they walked me through the package options at the end. 


Holy 💩 If you want all digital photos, it's either $1,799 or more to take home that same day.

If you want both digital and some prints, that can go up to $3,000.

This costs as much as some wedding photo packages 😱🤦‍♀️

The cheapest package was $229 which included one..let me emphasize..1, uno, 1 photo 🤣

I'm like uno momento... let me go home, scream/cry/laugh and I'll get back with you during a photo presentation session.

I thought heck there's nothing I can do to reverse this situation. Think about it, she had so much fun, we got to experience this once in a lifetime, this was our first and only time to experience it since she's the only child, we didn't know and yes I didn't do enough research.

But what the hell!! We paid for an experience. I know..I know I was trying so hard to be positive at this point.

And no I am not going to spend $2K - $3K either...not just no but hell no. 

After sleeping through this for 2 nights, I just remembered, I was actually a professional photographer with over 10+ years of experience.

Why didn't I take the matter into my own hands?!?!?

I feel so stupid.

So I think we may just redo this whole thing.

I can rent a professional studio with lightings and backgrounds for a few hours (they aren't that expensive), my daughter can do her own makeup/hair and she can have as many pics without breaking the bank!!

Maybe I will do this for students and families with lower budgets, I am sure a lot of families can't afford something like this with their kids getting ready to head to college.

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9 hours ago | [YT] | 0

Roses in Houston

Baby, I promise you~*

Baby girl...I know you are no longer a baby but I still love to caress and hold you like a baby.

You are getting so much bigger, heavier and taller now at 2 1/2 years old

You don't take a nap anymore during the day which makes mommy's day extra long with no break in between. Mommy gets to watch you 12 hours straight every weekend. Mommy loves to spend every second with you but mommy is tired.

Mommy wants you to know that mommy can be mean at times because mommy has such short temper when tired and mommy is truly sorry.

Mommy wishes that she could have more energy to play wit you all day long and be your "better" playmate.

Mommy will keep trying to be a better mom for you. You have changed my life so much in a way I had never expected as a person. I didn't know I could love and care for someone this much in my life.

Mommy has learnt that life is short and it is important to cherish every moment. Mommy is truly blessed to have you in my life. Mommy remembers her promise to love you and to be patient with you. Mommy will continue to work to be a better mom for you.

---------------------------------------------

I wrote this back in August 2011

15 years later, mommy is still tired...lol...but not AS cranky or mean. So much going on since last year, rolling with the punches...left, right, front and center.

Lessons learned from the past 15 years

- Raising a child isn't easy, but raising a child alone is even more challenging. Although it is such a rewarding experience, it isn't for everyone.

- Glad I decided to only have one child, I really couldn't handle more. Back then, her dad was only off Mon and Tue due to his work schedules. I know he didn't like that at all either he wished he could be home more, but we all gotta do what we gotta do for financial reason. We didn't see each other much as a family as I worked fulltime and was off as most people did on the weekends. He wasn't home in the evenings like normal people so it's just twonof us most of the time. No dinner time, no bedtime routine as a normal family expcept Mon and Tue evenings for over a decade. It was VERY tough. I broke down so many times alone especially when she's sick, all those trips to emergency rooms.

- Many moms have so much guilt and resentment as we can't spend as much quality times with our children due to life and financial obligations. We have to be breadwinner as men while taking care of kids and house on top of making money.

- Kudos to all single parents, especially those without family nearby. I FEEL you.

- Although motherhood is one of the most challenging life experiences, I wouldn't go back to change my mind about not having her. The only thing I'd have done differently knowing what I know now is to be less worried and take a better care of me so I wouldn't be angry/mad all the time which resulted in creating trauma in her. Having her has taught me so many things I wouldn't have known or understood if I never had a child.

- Be kind to single parents out there. They don't intend to be mean or mad, they're just very exhausted ❤️‍🩹

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1 day ago | [YT] | 2

Roses in Houston

One of my daughter's most favorite movies that she watches over and over and over again is Avatar. It's my favorite too, and I am someone who doesn't watch movie a lot these last few years. It's definitely top of my list.

I remember introducing the first one to her a few years ago and it became her instant favorite. She watched the 1st one, the 2nd one then the latest one..over and over and over again..may I add.

I have a hard time sitting through any long ass movies, very very few can hold my attention. Sometimes, I feel like I need to walk on a treadmill while watching 🤣  Maybe I have an ADHD!???

The only times I can sit through any movie without getting up to do something are either on the plane or in the movie theater.

Recently, we went to Boston and it took almost 4 hours to fly from Houston. My daughter highly suggested that I watched the 3rd Avatar - Fire and Ash. 

She and I were supposed to go watch it together when it came out, but of course, going with a friend was more fun then I didn't get to watch in the theater. Her friend never watched any before. After watching the 3rd one, she was hooked too and had to watch no 1 & 2. They thought Jake Sully in an Avatar body was the hottest thing.

Of course, during the vacation, we watched it again when staying at one Airbnb. It must be her 4th round...lol. 

Think about this, James Cameron is so talented and imaginative. Our world needs people with wild imagination to bring something out of this world like this. 

I bet he was told how weird his visions were back in the days, but look what weird ideas could bring. He's laughing all the way to the bank and back several times. Money may not be his motives anymore, but more like the fun he puts into his creative projects.

Looking at these characters. Jake Sully discovers a brand new world full of freedom in a new body. (what's up woth all these names with the letter J 🤔).

What really turns his life upside down is when he meets a spiritual being like Neytiri. He learns the new way of life and falls in love, not only with her, but he's more connected to mother nature more than ever. They both are so different and have to learn about each other's worlds. They see each other's souls despite physical differences. It's also about knowing when to be kind and when to fight back to protect oneself.

It's so interesting how James Cameron came up with so many plots/storyline within one movie. 

After watching the 3rd one, I feel like I embody Neytiri, Kiri and Varang characters..all in one. Many of us have more than one side/dimension and character. Different life circumstances shape us to be who we're today. We're good, bad, neutral, black, white, gray..all in one body.

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2 days ago | [YT] | 0

Roses in Houston

I really need to find a new job at animal sanctuary somewhere to witness the magic 🥰

https://youtu.be/52hWzUKlPiQ?is=cmNUQ...

2 days ago | [YT] | 0

Roses in Houston

Last month, I experienced the magical encounter with hummingbirds in New Hampshire. It's that one memory I will never forget. It's so magical and enchanting, feeling like in some Disney's or fantasy movie.

This one hummingbird in particular got
sooooo close..almost flying into my face!

While making a video of a small patio garden, I started hearing the sound like a giant bee just to find 2 hummingbirds. One in particular was flying and hovering around and getting so close.

At one point I stopped filming to fully experience this magic. He or she was literally hovering in front of me. We're starting at each other, literally a feet away.

I feel like Kiri in the movie "Avatar" who's deeply connected to mother earth..lol. Somehow I've noticed how I attract animals...domestic or wild of all sorts including 🐍 Maybe it's a sign that I should work at the zoo or some animal sanctuary 😂

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3 days ago | [YT] | 0

Roses in Houston

As a wasp lover, it's is so sweet and enchanting to see this story of creatures that most people are afraid of 💖

https://youtu.be/1gfq5d4_ljQ?is=yktjQ...

3 days ago | [YT] | 0

Roses in Houston

Random Friday...Is everything random by the way?

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3 days ago | [YT] | 1

Roses in Houston

It's mind-blowing what our body go through and what it can do/adapt/change to keep us alive, especially women.

That also includes the big, protruding belly that most of us aren't proud of. Our midsection and body mechanisms protect us ny storing more fat and fluid retention when cortisol is skyrocketing.

My body has gone through some drastic changes over the years.

I've aways been skinny/underweighted. Not because I wanted to be skinny, but I struggled to gain weight no matter what.

However, that changed after having a baby and in my 30's, I had skinny fat accumulated in my belly, waist, arms...cellulite and all. But overall, I still looked skinny on the outside. Inside, I felt sluggish, low energy and fatique.

And of course my health crisis that was a major turning point in 2014-ish.

Something didn't feel right. I had to do something before it got worse.

When I was in my 30's, I saw vidoes of women in their 50's, 60's, 70's and even 80's looking alive, active, vibrant, energetic and amazing and I wanted that. I wanted to be strong/fit and able to lift weights even at 80 if it's my destiny to live that long.

At that point I didn't even care about six packs, toned arms or butts (but through the years I wanted to to look toned and fit). Back then, I just wanted to feel energetic, stronger and healthy. Not skinny and feeling weak because it felt miserable.

Since then, it has been a 9-year body transformation journey. It ain't an overnight process, not even a year transformation...but hey I am getting where I want to be. Now it's even more important than ever as a single person, I gotta be strong for me so my daughter won't have to take care of me.

It's pretty crazy that I feel and look healthier now at 47 than in my 20's or 30's.

You can too no matter where you are and how young/old you may be.

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4 days ago | [YT] | 1

Roses in Houston

July 14, 2011
💝A peek inside (this) mommy's heart~*

I used to be the kind of woman who was not super emotional/sensitive…I was fearless…I was not worried much about anything….up until the day I brought another life into this world.

My world has changed, life is not about “me, myself and I” anymore. I become very emotional..tears fill my eyes much easily now that ever..I experience fears…many fears...I begin to worry…about many many things – health...does she eat enough? what if she is sick, safety...will she be okay at the daycare? will she be safe?, people around her, future, our financial stability...do we have enough emergency money saved up? do we put enough money in her saving?... and literally everything under the sun.

Just can’t help it when there is another “life” that depends on me in every single aspect.

I love my daughter more than any word can describe, I love her to the point that it hurts.

How? You love someone and the thought of not having that person hurts.

That kind of fear make your heartache and that is how I feel inside. What if something happen to me, how is she going to live? Will someone find out soon enough and take her to a safe place?

What if something happens to her…how am I going to live my life? These kind of questions, fears and worries, most people will never understand until they become a mother.

There are times…many…many…many…many times I feel exhausted, burned out by the duties of motherhood.

There are many…many…many…many…many occasions I have meltdowns and confusion from the demand of motherhood, being a full time working woman in a single mom's schedule plus a dirty house which I feel too tired to clean and keep up, my husband’s unusal work schedules which allow very very little time for us to spend as a family.

I feel drained and dead tired.
At one time, I said to my husband that "I feel like I don't have my life anymore". His repsonse was short, simple, straight forward and opened my eyes "this is your life, right now".

It is true..very very true. Parenthood is all about sacrifice and devotion. There are several things I want to accomplish...I want to start up a small side business..I want to take a photography class..I want to start my crafting projects....but I realize it is harder than ever being a mom, a full-time working woman, a housekeeper and everything. I can't just take off and do what I want to do anymore because this is not just me. Sometiems I am mad that I can't do what I want to do.

There are bumpers along the road here and there. Perhaps, when the time is right I will have some opportunities to pursue my dreams..there are always hopes..it is just not the right time at the moment. I have to tell myself to focus on the most important thing....my daughter.

After my daughter is asleep, I often sneak in…turn on the light and walk quietly towards her crib. I stay by her crib, sit on the floor..stare at her through the bed rails…I could stay there, watch her and lose track of time…as if I could live that moment forever. She looks so peaceful and beautiful.

Her long eyelashes, her messy hair, her chubby cheeks, her little nose and those little lips….I stay there and soak in the moments. All of sudden I feel the “strength” and am reminded that this little person in front of me is the reason to be strong and carry on

🌟------------------------------------------------------

There are times and seasons in life when we had to do what we don't want to do, it's part of building the skills and experiences we need.

🌟------------------------------------------------------

Fast forward to now in 2026...within those 15 years, I've accomplished my dreams to

....start my own businesses, not just one but two 🎉 Not financially successful, but hey it happened.

....become a professional photographer through self-taught/trials and errors

....have done multiple crafting projects as time allowed

All while being on a single mom's schedule during those years

My role as a wife had ended after 20+ years. My ex-husband is still my best friend in a different capacity and role. My daughter is now 17. I am embarking on my own journey to create and live how I want to live while supporting my daughter who's becoming a young, independent lady herself 💖

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5 days ago | [YT] | 0

Roses in Houston

It's so weird that last night when I woke up around 3 or 4am, I got this strong message to post this photo I took in Boston. I went back to sleep, yet I didn't forget.

Perhaps it's a sign or a message for someone that only that person will understand what it means. I wasn't going to post it as I thought "why?" but it kept bugging me and I didn't have to understand, just do it. So here goes for whoever it's meant for ✨️

5 days ago | [YT] | 1