Trina Brettnell

Most people have no idea how invisible I’ve felt in my life.

Not ignored.
Not abandoned.

Invisible.

Because I got really good at saying “I’m fine.”
Really good at being low-maintenance.
Really good at hiding the parts of me that felt too much.

I didn’t realize for a long time that I wasn’t just hiding my feelings.
I was hiding myself.

And the painful part?

People can only understand the version of you they’re allowed to see.

So if you only show the “I’m fine” version…
That’s all they ever meet.
Which slowly turns into feeling misunderstood.
Unseen.
Like you could disappear and nobody would really notice.

For a lot of INFJs, this isn’t a personality flaw.
It’s a nervous system pattern.

Your system learned early that staying small felt safer than being real.

The good news?

When you start understanding your nervous system and learning how to work with it,
you don’t have to keep disappearing.
You don’t have to keep hiding.
And you don’t have to keep feeling invisible.

If you want to go deeper into this, my workshop Wired Differently: Understanding the INFJ Nervous System & Sensory Overload explores why this pattern forms and what actually helps, to learn more about my workshop follow the link: www.infjsunfiltered.ca/live-webinar/wired-differen…

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3 days ago | [YT] | 48

Trina Brettnell

I’m fine.
It’s fine.
Everything’s fine.
Even when it isn’t.

I was really good at saying I was fine.

Even when I was in the darkest place internally.
Even when I was overwhelmed.
Even when I was being treated horribly.
Even when something inside me was quietly breaking.

Not because I was okay.
But because I didn’t feel worthy of taking up space with my pain.

Somewhere along the way, I learned that being low-maintenance felt safer than being honest.

For a lot of INFJs, this isn’t a personality quirk.
It’s a nervous system pattern.

When you grow up feeling unseen, misunderstood, or like your emotions are “too much,”
your nervous system adapts.

Hide it.
Contain it.
Carry it alone.

So pretending you’re fine becomes a regulation technique.

Silencing yourself becomes a regulation technique.
Holding everything inside becomes a regulation technique.
Not a healthy one.

A protective one.
And it’s exhausting.

You’re not weak.
You’re not broken.
You’re not overly sensitive.
You’re wired for protection.

If you’re an INFJ who feels chronically overwhelmed, overstimulated, or on edge,
my workshop Wired Differently: Understanding the INFJ Nervous System & Sensory Overload explores:
• Why your system operates the way it does
• How overload quietly builds beneath the surface
• Why pushing through makes things worse
• What actually helps

You don’t need to fix yourself.
You don’t need to become someone else. Just need to understand how you're wired. For more info, check out the link: www.infjsunfiltered.ca/live-webinar/wired-differen…

5 days ago | [YT] | 26

Trina Brettnell

INFJs… I swear we could get slapped in the face and still be like:

“Are you okay?” 😩

Like why are we so kind… even when someone is clearly disrespecting us?

Here’s the truth I didn’t understand for years:

We don’t do this because we’re weak or just super nice people......

We do it because our nervous system learned:
“If I stay easy to love… I’ll be safe.”
So when we sense tension, distance, or rejection…
we don’t get louder.
We get nicer.
Quieter.
More understanding.
Less needy.

That’s not personality… it’s survival.

It’s called fawning — and it slowly teaches INFJs to abandon themselves.

And the cost is brutal:
We stop hearing our own needs.
We lose clarity.
We lose ourselves.

My newest workshop goes deeper into why INFJs fawn, what it costs, and how to reconnect with yourself in a nervous-system-safe way so alignment can return.
👉 follow the link to learn more www.infjsunfiltered.ca/live-webinar/why-infjs-stru…

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2 weeks ago | [YT] | 45

Trina Brettnell

We were just trying to be the “nice INFJ”… and now we don’t even know what we want anymore.

We didn’t mean to lose ourselves.
We were just trying to keep the peace.

So we became “easy.”
Low maintenance.
Understanding.
Flexible.

We said “it’s fine” when it wasn’t.
We said “whatever you want” when we actually had a preference.
We said “I don’t need anything” when we needed a LOT.

Because deep down… people-pleasing isn’t really about being nice.
It’s about feeling safe.

If we stay easy… we won’t be rejected.
If we give enough… we’ll be kept.
If we shrink… we won’t be abandoned.

But here’s the cost nobody warns INFJs about:
When we people-please long enough…
our inner voice goes quiet.

We stop trusting our guidance.
And we lose the path that leads us back to clarity — and purpose.

If you relate to this, my newest workshop goes deeper into this exact pattern — why INFJs people-please and self-abandon, what it costs us, and how to reconnect with ourselves in a nervous-system-safe way so clarity (and purpose) can return.

If you’ve been feeling lost lately, this will help you come back to yourself — without forcing, overthinking, or overhauling your life. Follow the link to learn more.
www.infjsunfiltered.ca/live-webinar/why-infjs-stru…

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 42

Trina Brettnell

INFJs… this is one of the hardest truths.
When we sense rejection coming, we don’t just feel hurt —

we shift.

We start scanning for what they want…
and we become it.

Even if it doesn’t align with who we are.
Even if it crosses our values.
Even if we’re being disrespected.

Because that feeling of rejection?
It cuts deep.

So we betray ourselves first…
so it hurts less if they leave.

But here’s the cost:
Every time we fawn to keep a connection…
we lose connection with ourselves.
And when we lose that long enough…
we start feeling lost, stuck, unsure what direction to take —
because we can’t hear our own voice anymore.

That’s exactly what my latest workshop helps with.
Not “finding purpose” in some cliché way…
but reconnecting with who you are underneath the fear —
so you can stop self-abandoning and start building a life that actually fits.

Check out the link to learn more: www.infjsunfiltered.ca/live-webinar/why-infjs-stru…

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3 weeks ago | [YT] | 33

Trina Brettnell

I’m not even going to ask INFJs if you feel like you don’t belong anywhere.
Because if you’re an INFJ… you’ve probably been carrying that feeling your whole life.

You can blend in anywhere… but you don’t feel inside anywhere.
You can hold conversations… but rarely feel truly met.
You can be liked… and still feel misunderstood.
You can be included… and something inside you still whispers:

“This isn’t home.”

And over time, it starts turning into something heavier…

That quiet belief that:
“There’s something about me that doesn’t fit in this world.”

“What’s wrong with me?”

So you do what INFJs always do.
You adjust.
You read the room.
You stay pleasant.
You keep the peace.
You mask the depth.
You become what the environment can tolerate.

But here’s what most people don’t understand:
That “outsider” feeling isn’t just emotional…
and it’s not a mindset problem.

It’s often a nervous system pattern.

A lot of INFJs aren’t scanning for connection — we’re scanning for safety.
Because somewhere along the way, our system learned:
“Being fully myself isn’t safe.”

So even when we’re included… we don’t fully enter.
And when you’re not fully you… you can’t fully belong.

If this hit you… please hear me:
You’re not broken.
You’re not “too much.”
You’re not failing at life.
You’re wired differently — and you’ve been carrying more than people realize.

💚 This is exactly what I’m unpacking inside my workshop: Why Purpose Feels So Hard for INFJs

Not to “fix” you — but to help you finally understand what’s been happening underneath this pattern… so you can stop blaming yourself for it.
Check out the link to learn more: www.infjsunfiltered.ca/live-webinar/why-infjs-stru…

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3 weeks ago | [YT] | 41

Trina Brettnell

Most find-your-purpose content doesn’t do a damn thing for me.

I swipe away almost immediately.

Because for a long time, I wasn’t confused about my purpose —

I felt like I didn’t have one at all.
I felt like I was just… taking up space in this world.
I truly believed I was lacking — in clarity, in confidence, in worth.

I didn’t feel worthy enough to chase a calling, because I assumed other people had something I didn’t.

So when people talked about passion or purpose, I didn’t think,
“I need to find mine.”
I thought,
“I must not have one.”

And as an INFJ, watching other people speak so easily about direction only made that belief sink in deeper.

For a long time, I thought this was the problem —
that I was lacking in every area that mattered.

But it wasn’t the problem at all.

I wasn’t broken, empty, or behind.
I was disconnected from myself in a way I didn’t yet have language for.

And once I understood why that disconnection happens for so many INFJs, everything changed — not overnight, but in a way that finally made sense.

That’s why I created this workshop.

It’s for INFJs who:
• don’t feel connected to a purpose at all
• quietly feel like they’re just existing, not living
• have carried a sense of “something’s missing” for years
• are tired of forcing answers that never land

This isn’t about fixing you or pushing you toward a calling.

It’s about explaining what’s actually been happening — and why purpose can’t emerge until the right conditions are in place.

If you’ve ever thought,
“Maybe I’m just taking up space,”
this was created for you.

Click Here to learn more: www.infjsunfiltered.ca/live-webinar/why-infjs-stru…

1 month ago | [YT] | 21

Trina Brettnell

I used to think purpose was something you search for —
like a single calling you were meant to find and cling to forever.
And if you couldn’t find it, you were failing at life.

But the older I get, the more I realize something different:

Purpose isn’t found by following the path others expect of you.
Purpose reveals itself when you finally step into who you actually are.

I lived a long time trying to be what everyone else thought I should be.
That was their vision of my purpose — not mine.
And INFJs aren’t built for that kind of life.

Our purpose doesn’t look like other people’s.
Our path isn’t linear or predictable or traditional.
It’s intuitive.
It’s slow-unfolding.
And honestly — it’s terrifying.

Because stepping into your real purpose means
becoming a version of yourself you’ve been afraid to be.

The version who stops shrinking.
The version who risks being seen.
The version who might get judged or misunderstood or abandoned again.

But here’s the part no one tells you:

When you step into that version of yourself —
not only do you find your purpose… you find your people.

The ones who recognize you.
The ones who value you.
The ones who see you where you once felt invisible.

I’m working on a workshop for January all around this —
for INFJs who feel like there’s more inside them than they’re currently living
and they’re ready to lean into it.

If this hit something in you, stay close.
We’re just getting started. 🌿

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2 months ago | [YT] | 74

Trina Brettnell

Hey everyone 💚
I know it’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted — life has been busy. I’m still here, still creating, and I’ll be back to uploading soon. Thank you for your patience and for sticking around.

In the meantime, I’m working on some upcoming INFJ & neurodivergent INFJ workshops, and I’d love your feedback.
What topics would you want a workshop on next?
Your input genuinely helps me decide what to create.

I’ll add a poll below with a few ideas — feel free to vote or comment with something different. 💫

Thank you for being here. Truly.

2 months ago | [YT] | 14

Trina Brettnell

On the outside, INFJs often look like we’ve got it all together.
But inside? It feels like one big knot of stress....which most days feels like an understatement.

We don’t just attend things — we absorb them.
We replay conversations until 2am.
We worry about everyone else’s needs before our own.

And after a while, tension feels like our personality. We start to believe this is just who I am.

But here’s the truth: it’s not who you are.
It’s your nervous system stuck in survival mode.

That’s why I’m hosting my live workshop: Calming the INFJ Nervous System. 🌿
We’ll dive into why INFJs carry so much tension — and I’ll share practical tools I have used for years to finally feel calm in your own skin, became life doesn’t have to feel this heavy.

✨ Replay included if you can’t make it live.

If you want to learn more follow the link in the comments.

4 months ago | [YT] | 51