Trina Brettnell
Hi, I'm Trina – Self-Love Healer, Author, & Autistic INFJ.
INFJs and autistic INFJs hire me to heal their self-love so they can thrive in a world that wasn’t created for them. Through coaching, community, and classes, I guide them toward self-acceptance and fulfillment.
Let’s connect to see if working together is right for you!
.
Send me a message, and we can chat.
Contact@infjsunfiltered.ca
Trina Brettnell
After a certain point, you realize small talk just doesn’t fill the gap.
You can have conversations all day…
be around people…
even be “included”…
and still walk away feeling like something was missing.
Not because you need more people.
But because you need depth.
You need conversations that actually go somewhere…
where you don’t have to filter yourself…
where you’re not the only one holding the emotional weight.
And it gets tiring…
being the one who listens deeply, understands deeply…
but rarely feels that in return.
That’s why I created Insight Lounge —
a community built specifically for INFJs and neurodivergent INFJs.
It’s a space where we have real conversations…
through live connection circles, Q&As,
and just being able to talk about the things you actually think about…
with people who naturally meet you there.
No pressure. No pretending.
Just depth, connection… and people who feel like home.
If you’ve been quietly thinking,
“where are the people like me…”
They’re here 🤍
Follow the link in the comments to learn more.
2 days ago | [YT] | 93
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Trina Brettnell
Don't ya get tired of feeling like you’re always the listener, but rarely heard?
Like you’re deep, thoughtful, and constantly misunderstood in a surface-level world?
Welcome to my magical INFJ Insight Lounge—a members-only community where we meet live, ask honest Q&As, and share exclusive videos made for INFJs. No masks, no small talk—just depth, understanding, and people who truly get you.
Ready to feel seen? Tap the link to learn more: youtube.com/channel/UCZJDsnaoy3DcNO1TcbplR5Q/join
1 week ago | [YT] | 47
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Trina Brettnell
I’m sitting here with my cup of coffee, inviting you to grab your favorite mug, a cozy blanket, and maybe your furry companion and check out our new INFJ Connection Community.
This space is for us INFJs to slow down, connect, and feel truly seen.
Every month we’ll have live meetups and Q&As, plus members-only videos and shorts. I want this to feel like a cozy living room where we can talk about the things that matter most to us.
If you’re ready to feel seen, heard, and genuinely understood, grab your favorite mug and join us. The door’s open. youtube.com/@trinabrettnell/community
1 week ago | [YT] | 34
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Trina Brettnell
Picture this: you, me, and a bunch of INFJs—all staring at technology like it's an alien lifeform!
🚀 Good news: I’ve banished the tech gremlins, and the INFJ Connection Circle registration is finally fixed. 🎉
Now, let’s talk real: Ever felt like the odd duck in a flock of swans, mentally debating if anyone actually gets you? Yeah, same.
But this circle?
It's where your “weird” is not only understood—it’s celebrated.
No more feeling like you’ve got to explain your entire existence in fine print! Come find the people who speak your language—registration is OPEN, and we’re waiting with metaphorical cups of tea and understanding. ☕
Curious? Click on the link in the comments to learn more.
2 weeks ago | [YT] | 29
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Trina Brettnell
Have you ever noticed that you’ve spent most of your life being the one people open up to…
but it’s much harder to find someone you feel safe opening up to?
I hear this from a lot of INFJs, especially as we get older.
We become the listener.
The one people come to with their problems.
The one who holds space for everyone else.
But it’s surprisingly hard to find people who do the same for us.
Over time, many INFJs get really good at convincing themselves they’re totally fine being alone.
“I’m good.”
“I like my quiet.”
“I’m just really independent.”
And part of that is true… I do love my quiet.
But if I’m being honest, sometimes that independence is also something we tell ourselves because finding the right people to connect with can be really hard.
People we don’t have to constantly explain ourselves to.
People where we don’t feel like we have to prove ourselves just to be accepted.
People who are willing to listen to us too… not just the other way around.
That’s exactly why I created the INFJ Virtual Meet & Greet Connection Circle.
It’s a relaxed space where INFJs can come together and connect with people who share similar experiences and ways of seeing the world.
A place where you can:
• have conversations that go deeper than surface-level small talk
• be around people you don’t have to constantly explain yourself to
• experience connection where the conversation finally goes both ways
No pressure. Just real conversation.
And if you’d rather sit back and observe the first time, that’s completely okay too.
Our next circle is happening soon, and if this resonates with you, you might really enjoy it.
You can learn more through the link in the comments.
And I’m curious… have you ever felt like you were always the one people leaned on?
3 weeks ago | [YT] | 93
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Trina Brettnell
I worked harder than almost everyone around me…
and still got labeled incompetent.
I went in early.
Stayed late.
Took on extra work whenever I could.
I devoted myself to a job that slowly sucked the life out of me because I believed if I just worked hard enough, eventually someone would see my value.
Instead I was called quiet.
Not a team player.
Disengaged.
At one point I was even called stupid.
The truth was I wasn’t disengaged at all.
I was observing.
Processing everything happening in the room before speaking.
But by the time I had gathered my thoughts and felt ready to contribute, the conversation had already moved on.
And because I grew up being told I was stupid, part of me believed maybe what I had to say didn’t matter anyway.
So I stayed quiet.
For years I thought the problem was me.
Over time I’ve heard this exact same story from so many INFJs, especially those of us in our 40s and 50s who quietly carried this experience through our careers.
Here’s the part many INFJs never hear said out loud:
Many of us weren’t overlooked because we lacked ability.
We were overlooked because the way we process and communicate didn’t match the systems we were working in.
In my workshop “The Misunderstood INFJ,” I’m going to show you why this pattern happens so often for INFJs and how to communicate your insights in ways that help people actually understand you — instead of misreading your quiet processing as disengagement.
Because many INFJs spent years believing something was wrong with them… when in reality their mind simply works differently.
If this experience feels familiar, you can learn more about the workshop by clicking the link in the comments.
I’m curious — did anything like this happen to you in your career?
3 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 58
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Trina Brettnell
Ever walk away from a conversation and think…
How did that turn into that?
You explained yourself carefully.
You chose your words thoughtfully.
You even softened things so it wouldn’t come across wrong.
And somehow…
they still didn’t get you.
If you’re an INFJ, you probably know exactly what I mean.
You open up honestly and people say you're too much.
You stay quiet and people assume you're cold.
You try to explain your thoughts and suddenly you're “overthinking.”
So later that night you're lying in bed replaying the conversation in your head like it’s a movie you can’t turn off.
What did I say wrong?
Did I come across weird?
Should I have explained that differently?
After years of that, you start doing what a lot of INFJs do…
You filter yourself.
You soften your thoughts.
You hide pieces of your depth.
Not because you want to.
Because you're tired of being misunderstood.
That’s exactly why I created The Misunderstood INFJ Workshop.
Because once you understand why this keeps happening, everything starts making a lot more sense.
If this post made you feel a little too seen…
you’ll probably want to check it out.
Check out the link to learn more: www.infjsunfiltered.ca/live-webinar/the-misunderst…
4 weeks ago | [YT] | 50
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Trina Brettnell
Have you ever felt invisible in a room… even when you’re the one holding it together?
Not ignored.
Invisible.
Like you’re pouring depth, loyalty, thought, care into everyone around you…
and somehow you’re still the background character in your own life.
I know that feeling.
For a long time, being invisible turned into this quiet belief:
I don’t matter.
I’ve never mattered.
Maybe I just take up space instead of belonging in it.
And that one cuts deep.
Because here’s the part no one talks about…
INFJs don’t just “like” people.
We don’t casually care.
When someone matters to us, they matter Mariana Trench deep. We feel it in our nervous system. We rearrange ourselves to protect it. We hold space. We remember the details. We show up.
So when we’re misunderstood… dismissed… or made to feel dramatic, too much, too intense, too sensitive…
It doesn’t just sting.
It makes us question our entire existence.
How can I matter so deeply to others…
and feel like I don’t matter at all?
That’s the invisible INFJ wound.
And most of us are walking around with it quietly.
I created The Misunderstood INFJ workshop because I’m done pretending this isn’t a real thing. I’ve lived it. I still bump into it. And I know I’m not the only one.
If you’ve ever felt unseen, minimized, or like you’re speaking a language no one else seems to understand…
You’re not crazy.
You’re not broken.
And you’re definitely not alone.
If this hit somewhere tender, the link is there, in my bio if you want to learn more:
www.infjsunfiltered.ca/live-webinar/the-misunderst…
Come sit in a room where you don’t have to shrink to be understood. 💛
1 month ago | [YT] | 55
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