I wanted to say a few words on my birthday and on the release of "25" with Sofuu. But I was too occupied by other things.
Firstly, I want to acknowledge and say thank you to all the wonderful birthday wishes from you guys! It makes me really happy! I have always separate myself from my art, Đức from mididuck. But on days like these I guess it is ok to acknowledge and relish in these words of celebration a little bit with you guys.
Secondly, I want to share a little bit of my struggles in music. A lot of people come to me on stream or leave comments on my songs saying how great my music is and how it have helped them. Fast forwards a few years and there has been a lot of kind words that people left for my work. Slowly I can feel the pressure weighing on me whenever I write, produce or release a song. A pressure to keep performing and growing as an 'artist'. A fear of being washed away if I make a mistake, an ultimate fear of abandonment or disappointment. A clinginess to success and the taste of triumphant whenever I finish a song, an attachment to the results. All of these at first were manageable, but now I notice it slowly distracting me from doing what I love. Pouring my heart and stories in songs, to play with little building blocks in music, the joy of simply creating things. I thought I should share this because maybe out there, there are people who are letting their challenges and obstacles crushing them. Maybe just a little bit, I can change their mind and help them to take action and pursue their difficult but important goals.
And lastly, I hope you all a wonderful rest of the year. Time go by so quickly and I can't believe it is September already. And as always, thank you for listening and cheering and interacting with me and my music. There is a small and subtle connection there, maybe we are not close friends but I do treasure these little interactions we share through music. See you guys again soon and please take care 👋
It has been a while since the last time I make a post like this. But I just wanted to say thank you for the constant support that I have been receiving, not just here on Youtube but other streaming platform and Patreon. The past few months are the richest months for my soul and mind, I felt as if I finally found the spark that I lost as a kid. Not a spark but maybe the curiosity to create and explore without expectation or fear. I spent a lot of time looking for that, a question I keep asking was "What would I do if there was no eyes looking my ways? What would I do if I have nobody watching to prove anything?". I guess my answer would be just to sit in peace and try to remain still... A lot of these struggle and pain but also happiness and pleasure come from me expecting too much or thinking too little of myself. Music is the biggest part of my life, and I see myself comparing myself subtly or downplaying my effort also subtly lol. It is something I wanted to work on and I guess I want to share a bit of it on here with you guys.
"Skinwalker" is finally out! I thought it was really nice and I had so much fun working on it and working with my great friend, Sofuu. The song for me is about a person questioning themself if they lost anything? Their desperate effort to try to cling on what they deem as "good" or "truth". The first half is their expectation. The expectation drives them to criticize the "not so good" part, it is like they separate out a version that is pure to judge the part that is not pure. And the second half is acceptance, but also subtle self criticism. They own their flaws and accept that they are in fact a "skinwalker". I made the song loop back to the start as the cycle continue, from you think you know what is good to you thinking you are the worst thing ever. But this is my perspective of the song, I did not push this heavily upon the lyrics and composition but more so to capture the confusion and frustration of the character. I also believe that once I share my music, it is no longer just me putting meaning onto my song. But it is also up to the audience to decide what the song means for themself. I always enjoy others perspective of the song. But for me, it is a painting that I try to pain a quite vulnerable part of myself. A part that strive for good but also lies to get out of uncomfortable situations, a duality.
Ever since the beginning of this year, I have managed to helped out my family with rents and bills from my own music. Which is such a crazy feeling for me, I never thought of being able to do such a thing with music making. It took me almost 11 years to be able to do that, there were ups and downs, times where things go smoothly and times where things spiral out of control. But never once I thought that this would be possible. And genuinely, it is thanks to all of you guys who sharing, listening. Those who listens and celebrate the songs with me, those who use my song as part of their creation in Geomatry Dash. And for my side, I am grateful to be blessed with this unwavering curiosity to create music, for a family that support me unconditionally and for amazing friends who see me as equal and treat me with kindness.
If you have read this far, thank you for your patience. I just wanted to share a bit of something with you guys. Something raw and true to how I felt at this moment. Once again, thank you guys for everything and I hope you guys all the best.
after a month of posting daily drawing shorts on tiktok, youtube and instagram. i have came to the conclusion to stop posting on youtube and instagram, well atleast my daily drawing. i guess i want to keep my youtube shorts more about music related.
so if you are interested in my daily drawing stuff u can check it on tiktok. it has been very nice to practice drawing more and share them with you guys in this short form video.
i also wanted to ask what do you guys want to see more from me, or what do you guys suggest me making for youtube short? people always say it is really good for discoverability but i think i am having a different experience. i think im just not built for making content. if you guys have any suggestion what you want me to do, related to music let me know!
I want to make a post to share with you guys a song I help out producing for @sofuusmusic ! She has always been an amazing friend and an epic music collaborator! She is so talented in singing and song writing. I just wish she release more original song for her own project, I think she deserves it as much as the people she help out (including me). If you like rnb or stuff that is more pop-ish, you can head to her channel and follow her music journey! But for now this is her latest release!
Thank you everyone for supporting me and my music, it has been a really fulfilling experience for me! I have so much music to show you guys. And I am working hard on the songs and the visuals, I can't wait to show everyone everything I have been working on too! And of course I have made a lot of songs with Sofuu too! So if you are interested in that please go and give her your support!
Tomorrow I will be doing a stream. I will be trying to fix the music/audio you submit to me live on stream. If you are interested in joining please join the discord and look at the latest announcement for more information! You will also need to join the discord to submit your work there so that I can "fix" it live on stream. (if you are a member of this channel your submission will be prioritized!)
I wanted to branch out to do more community driven stuff this year. I had the same goal at the start of last year with the exact same stream like this. But I guess I decided to focus more on making music and working on the album. But this year I do want to try to do more streams, create more shorts and other content than full released songs.
In just a few days, 2024 will pass. So many joy and challenges, so many things to do with these joy and challenges. Reflect, cherish, missing or despising. I'd like to believe that whatever happened might not be the best outcome nor the worst. But it happened and I always try to accept it, wrap it in a nice package so I can make room for the present and the future to come.
Music has always been something so personal for me. Starting from just a hobby for computer and tech stuff at a young age. I remember using audacity and movie maker to try to make music before I got my first copy of FL Studio from a Vietnamese forum. I would have never thought music is a tool for me to express, understand myself. To connect with people and to help me through so many tough times in my life. The worth of music to the me at the moment is so big. Externally, I also met a lot of people who celebrate my music with me. I have made some really great friends along the way. I also get some glimpse and ideas of where it could bring me. But of course there are fear and doubts, there are people who don't like my music or people who don't really have my best interest in mind. And I think that is something I am content with, and learnt to accept.
This year has been a year of a lot of personal growth for me. A lot of questions I have been asking myself, I finally found the answers for. I am more comfortable with myself and what I do and just everything in life in general. I also put a lot of focus on "mididuck", I released 20 songs under mididuck on this channel. I do see a lot of number growth and actually starting to get some money out of my music, which is something I never thought of before. I think I owe you guys a lot of thanks for making my life nearly endlessly more meaningful. I am grateful to have an audience to inspire and entertain. It is not something that come by easily, I do consider myself lucky. I know I am not anybody big yet but just imagine a few thousands of you guys listening to my music is really crazy to me. I don't think I am a very charismatic or cool person, I am not good at marketing or promoting my music. I just do what everyone else do and hope for the best, but somehow you guys choose to stay and listen.
Life is filled with struggles but also so many beautiful things. To me they are things that I try to express and portray in my music. Despise having so many of you guys telling me nice things, and having make and upload music on the internet for over 10 years. I still get nervous or scared if what I make is weird, or not relatable, or just straight up bad. But deep down, especially when I am creating the music, I feel very good about the music I make. My music is not the most technical, or the most ground breaking, or have the most artist merits. But they are what I feel strongly about, what helps me through my rough days, what I think is cool. I always used to say things like I am not good at making emotional music or that my music mean nothing or sound boring, horrible. But I will admit it now, I love the things I make, I pour a lot of my heart and soul into it, they sound really cool to me and I am scared that people might disagree with me when I say these things. I think I am ok with people disagreeing with me now, I learnt how to validate my experience now, learnt how to respect myself a bit more.
This is what I wanted to do with my music. I hope that I could convince you guys to believe in what you guys deeply and truly feel strongly about. No matter what people say or what that annoying voice in your head say. I think a lot of us lack confidence in ourselves because of how loud everything outside the world is. We feel as if there is no space left to express or build what we love. There are people who think the opposite too, who think highly of themselves and take more than they should and all that. But I believe in the nature of human being, I believe that we naturally cultivate wholesomeness, I believe that it is easier to be compassionate than being pure evil once you have a deep understand about yourself and everyone. Maybe this is just me being an idealist lol. But that is what I want to spread with my music, I hope to make the world a little bit better place by entertaining everyone with my little tunes.
This is another messy long paragraph when I am super drowsy lol. But I just wanted to reflect a bit and express my gratitude towards you guys. This channel and music thing means so much to me and without you guys it would be as special or the same. I am forever thankful and grateful for everyone of you who listen to my music 💖
I hope you all can wrap up 2024 nicely so you can make space for all the things that await you ahead in 2025. I wish you guys all the best of wishes! Please take care.
I have decided to make a community post today because it has been a while and I love yapping. Also I just released "glitters" (spoiler alert: I forgot about the premiere date again and didn't make it to the premiere). I hope that you guys have been doing alright. And thank you for always supporting my music. I wanted to warn and advise listeners who are younger than 18 to stop reading because this gets into some dark and inappropriate topics for you guys. But if you do continue, I hope you guys could slow down a little bit and enjoy your childhood, I feel like kids grow so fast nowaday with internet and they don't get to be a kid and stuff.
I wanted to talk a little bit about "glitters", it was a really fun project and a bit different than my usual stuff when it comes to the visual. A lot of glitches and flashing colors, I hope I didn't hurt anybody eyes 💀... I wanted to get back into drawing and learning more about gfx and stuff like that, basically more visual stuff. I am not good at it but I find it super fun to make visual stuff again. As for the song, it is a very loud and heavy song, featuring Solari from Synthesizer V.
Well after releasing the song to the public. The song doesn't have to have the same meaning as the one I had for it while making it. Because I think people can have their own interpretation for the song. Humans experience varies. But if you are interested I would love to share with you guys the story behind this song, it is a pretty personal story to me. It is a story about attachment, addiction and how it both in some ways help me deal with things but also create so many problems for me. Mainly about the emotional sides of it. I am not addicted to any substance, but I am very much addicted to video games, music, computer, internet, p*rn, etc. I think I was exposed to it later than my friends but I still think it is pretty early compare to the older generations... I think I start roaming on the internet around the age of 11 and I get my own computer at the age of 13 so that is when the addiction really kicks in. I have always been a pretty happy and normal kid, I think? But a "normal" human experience is filled with pain and suffering (and of course happy and wholesome) moments. Video games, internet and music were basically my childhood. That's where I spend most of my time and was most drawn to as a kid.
It was pretty harmless, I thought. But as I grow older and learn more about the world and myself. I uncover a lot of messed up things that I was trying to cope and mask with these things. Especially with the use of p*rn. My life was not perfect, I went through a lot of crazy stuff as a kid, mostly family related. I won't get into detail but a lot of abuse and neglect. But I am alive now with a loving mother and a sister and that is all that matters 😎 But I remember as a kid and even now sometimes I would use p*rn as a emotional regulation thing. It brought me a lot of shame because I might feel ok at that moment but after my brain stabilize the chemicals. I feel a lot worse. And my life for the most part is just this cycle of insanity. This nasty thing also gave me so much that I was missing out on as a kid. The feeling of being loved and the feeling of calm and safe. But like everything, it comes with its own cost. For me it was my view on women and my spiritual growth. But underneath all these addiction is a deeper and bigger problem. I don't know if you guys have some form of attachment to anything in your life, but I challenge you guys to ask why you do those things and what those things bring you that life can't. For me it was a loving and accepting family that I never had, it was an escape to all the horrible things that I had to deal with. A retreat from all those rough things, this nasty things were somehow better than my life.
But I am good now, or I am getting better. I think I have understood myself more and the people who wronged me more. I have came to term with most of it and I think it is freeing to do so. I still have a lot of questions for myself but I am getting there and I hope you guys can figure yourself out too... There were moments where I thought I would be stuck in this mess and never be able to get out. But life is full of surprises, both good and bad. You will get out as long as you keep going and moving forward. This post might seem weird and hard to follow because I am trying not to share too much about myself but also explain the emotions I had while making the song. It is a twisted emotion but a needed one for anyone who go through a twisted existence.
I just wanted to talk a little bit about these habits we have developed with the rampant growth of internet and technologies. I think we should talk about it more honestly cause I think we all can use a little bit of honesty to ourselves.
Thank you guys for always being so supportive and listen to my music. I hope you guys all the best and see you guys next time! Wish you all a productive and amazing week ahead of yall 😤😤
also someone asked me to transcribe the texts in the videos. so i did and here is the google doc for anyone who is interested: docs.google.com/document/d/1vraEp0iaQFwG1pRRuj_fNs… (sorry for the messy texts in the video lol)
By the time you guys are reading this letter, I think my debut album is finally released. I wanted to say thank you to the listeners who have been supporting me by listening and enjoying my music and the newer listeners who have just found me. I wanted to create this album mainly to prove to myself that I can do music and I can take this music creation thing more seriously. I don’t know how you guys will react to the album, but from all the singles I have released, and my previous works/projects. I think those things are enough to motivate and keep releasing music to the public. I have always enjoyed making music, and to have people from all around the world celebrate and listen to my music is just a huge bonus for me. So thank you, I honestly can’t express how grateful I am.
I also wanted to write this letter to maybe give you guys some insight about my thoughts on creating this album. An album has always been on my checklist as a musician, I think it is also a way of creating music that I haven’t gotten much practice on. So I think somewhere along the way, this seed of “creating and releasing an album” has been planted into my head. It is a huge challenge for me, there were many moments where I would doubt my ability to put together an album let alone make a decent one. Even now, after finishing everything I can still point out places where I could have done better in the album. But I guess that is ok, it is “ok to be not ok”. Things don’t have to always be perfect or good, sometimes challenges or acknowledgement of your inferiority are opportunities for great things. That is why I choose to draw a lotus as the album cover for the whole album. Lotus is a pretty flower but it grows and gets nourishment from the dirty and ugly mud. I think humans are the same, pain and suffering are horrible but if we manage to overcome them and find ways to transform them, I think they can be opportunities to nurture and be grateful for many good things in life. This is something that has really impacted me throughout the years. I have always been someone who is very judgmental of myself and subconsciously that affects how I view things around me. I want to remind myself and also share this realization with you guys through this album. I hope that we can all go through hardship with a positive and mindful attitude.
I have always struggled with communication and words. But like everyone, I yearn for deep connection with people. And because of music, I have met countless amazing people throughout the years. I learnt so much from them and went through so many ups and downs with them, and I think that is very beautiful and precious to me. This is one of the things that music, specifically sharing my music on the internet has blessed me with. A medium where I feel heard and feel validated. This is something music has brought me that I am also forever grateful for.
The theme and word “hope” is something I speak of a lot throughout my life. And it is definitely very prominent in my music, at least to me. Music has been with me through my darkest time, it is something I find a lot of comfort and peace in. It teaches me to believe in “hope” countless times, no matter how terrible a situation can get. There were times where I felt so hopeless and so overwhelmed by my own thoughts and emotions, but making music and listening to music have always managed to calm me down and give me an outlet, a way out when I am “cornered”. So that is another reason why I am so grateful for this whole music thing and why the theme “hope” is so relevant in my music.
Of course with anything in life, there are always two sides to it. Music has robbed me a lot of my time and energy and health at times too. Like every human being out there, I do doubt myself sometimes on my ability to create music, doubt if this is the right thing for me and all that stuff. Nihilistic and difficult questions to answer would show up. But the same with everything else, nothing is permanent and those moments eventually go away.
This whole album took a lot of my time and energy. There were a lot of unfinished ideas that didn’t make it to the final album. There were doubts and a lot of other challenges while making this but I learnt a lot and had a lot of fun working on this project. I believe that music that is released to the public can have multiple meanings depending on the listeners. I have my own interpretation and meaning for the songs but I am curious what you guys make of these songs. So please feel free to share with me your own story, thoughts or feelings. I would love to see others' interpretations of the album.
But overall I am just super glad that this album is finally out there for everyone to listen to. I look forward to making more music and sharing it with you guys. I also hope you guys enjoy this album, it is not perfect but I definitely gave it my all and learnt a lot from this experience. Thank you once again for reading through this long letter and thank you for listening to my music. I hope you guys are all safe and I wish you guys all the best!
As the time making this post, I have managed to finish all the main ideas (arrangement) for all of the songs in my upcoming albums. But like everything in life, I can always improve upon it, the mix, melodies and even the idea itself can always be improved upon. But I think all the songs are at a state where I am pretty happy about them, and are comfortable with sharing them with you guys!
I have been asking some friends and looking around on the internet for what is the best way to release my album because this is honestly my first time releasing one. 4 months ago I wanted to release 4 singles and then I can release everything on my birthday but I don't think it will do well on other streaming platforms like Spotify/Apple Music if I do so. And after releasing the 4 other singles, I notice you guys enjoy/appreciate the little visuals I put together for my songs a lot. I have heard a lot of positive things from the Youtube videos. So I have came to the conclusion to release more singles from the album, before releasing them all into an album with all of them having their own little visual video and also time/space for people to enjoy every songs in the album.
I am just very very excited to share everything with you guys as soon as possible. But since I am the only one working on everything on this project, and a pretty big procrastinator sometimes, it probably gonna take me some time to finish and get everything ready to be released. But I am very grateful for being able to create music and have an audience waiting and enjoying my music. Thank you all for the constant support and for being patient. I will definitely let you know more but for now what I can promise is at least a song a month 😌
Working on this album has honestly taught me a lot about music, art, working habits and myself. I think if I were to do a project similar to this in the future I will definitely will have a lot of things I can do better. I haven't been streaming lately also because I don't want to spoil all of the music process on stream haha, but I will definitely try to stream more album-unrelated stuff sometimes. Anyway that is all I wanted to say in this long post, sorry for the wall of text and thank you all for your time. I hope you all are doing alright, please take care and stay safe, thank you for everything 💖
i wanted to make a post to give a shoutout to a friend of mine! he is a very humble but talented individual. a very artistic person who really into graphic, motion design and music. you guys might know about him through my stream or through "asian hideout" he is the one who made all the MVs for asian hideout.
i made a small little audio/beat for him to do a little edit on and i am super impressed with what he came up with. please go and show him some love and attention!
mididuck
mididuck
Hello dear viewers,
I wanted to say a few words on my birthday and on the release of "25" with Sofuu. But I was too occupied by other things.
Firstly, I want to acknowledge and say thank you to all the wonderful birthday wishes from you guys! It makes me really happy! I have always separate myself from my art, Đức from mididuck. But on days like these I guess it is ok to acknowledge and relish in these words of celebration a little bit with you guys.
Secondly, I want to share a little bit of my struggles in music. A lot of people come to me on stream or leave comments on my songs saying how great my music is and how it have helped them. Fast forwards a few years and there has been a lot of kind words that people left for my work. Slowly I can feel the pressure weighing on me whenever I write, produce or release a song. A pressure to keep performing and growing as an 'artist'. A fear of being washed away if I make a mistake, an ultimate fear of abandonment or disappointment. A clinginess to success and the taste of triumphant whenever I finish a song, an attachment to the results. All of these at first were manageable, but now I notice it slowly distracting me from doing what I love. Pouring my heart and stories in songs, to play with little building blocks in music, the joy of simply creating things. I thought I should share this because maybe out there, there are people who are letting their challenges and obstacles crushing them. Maybe just a little bit, I can change their mind and help them to take action and pursue their difficult but important goals.
And lastly, I hope you all a wonderful rest of the year. Time go by so quickly and I can't believe it is September already. And as always, thank you for listening and cheering and interacting with me and my music. There is a small and subtle connection there, maybe we are not close friends but I do treasure these little interactions we share through music. See you guys again soon and please take care 👋
1 month ago | [YT] | 130
View 24 replies
mididuck
Hello precious viewers,
It has been a while since the last time I make a post like this. But I just wanted to say thank you for the constant support that I have been receiving, not just here on Youtube but other streaming platform and Patreon. The past few months are the richest months for my soul and mind, I felt as if I finally found the spark that I lost as a kid. Not a spark but maybe the curiosity to create and explore without expectation or fear. I spent a lot of time looking for that, a question I keep asking was "What would I do if there was no eyes looking my ways? What would I do if I have nobody watching to prove anything?". I guess my answer would be just to sit in peace and try to remain still... A lot of these struggle and pain but also happiness and pleasure come from me expecting too much or thinking too little of myself. Music is the biggest part of my life, and I see myself comparing myself subtly or downplaying my effort also subtly lol. It is something I wanted to work on and I guess I want to share a bit of it on here with you guys.
"Skinwalker" is finally out! I thought it was really nice and I had so much fun working on it and working with my great friend, Sofuu. The song for me is about a person questioning themself if they lost anything? Their desperate effort to try to cling on what they deem as "good" or "truth". The first half is their expectation. The expectation drives them to criticize the "not so good" part, it is like they separate out a version that is pure to judge the part that is not pure. And the second half is acceptance, but also subtle self criticism. They own their flaws and accept that they are in fact a "skinwalker". I made the song loop back to the start as the cycle continue, from you think you know what is good to you thinking you are the worst thing ever. But this is my perspective of the song, I did not push this heavily upon the lyrics and composition but more so to capture the confusion and frustration of the character. I also believe that once I share my music, it is no longer just me putting meaning onto my song. But it is also up to the audience to decide what the song means for themself. I always enjoy others perspective of the song. But for me, it is a painting that I try to pain a quite vulnerable part of myself. A part that strive for good but also lies to get out of uncomfortable situations, a duality.
Ever since the beginning of this year, I have managed to helped out my family with rents and bills from my own music. Which is such a crazy feeling for me, I never thought of being able to do such a thing with music making. It took me almost 11 years to be able to do that, there were ups and downs, times where things go smoothly and times where things spiral out of control. But never once I thought that this would be possible. And genuinely, it is thanks to all of you guys who sharing, listening. Those who listens and celebrate the songs with me, those who use my song as part of their creation in Geomatry Dash. And for my side, I am grateful to be blessed with this unwavering curiosity to create music, for a family that support me unconditionally and for amazing friends who see me as equal and treat me with kindness.
If you have read this far, thank you for your patience. I just wanted to share a bit of something with you guys. Something raw and true to how I felt at this moment. Once again, thank you guys for everything and I hope you guys all the best.
3 months ago | [YT] | 156
View 34 replies
mididuck
hello dear viewer,
after a month of posting daily drawing shorts on tiktok, youtube and instagram. i have came to the conclusion to stop posting on youtube and instagram, well atleast my daily drawing. i guess i want to keep my youtube shorts more about music related.
so if you are interested in my daily drawing stuff u can check it on tiktok. it has been very nice to practice drawing more and share them with you guys in this short form video.
i also wanted to ask what do you guys want to see more from me, or what do you guys suggest me making for youtube short? people always say it is really good for discoverability but i think i am having a different experience. i think im just not built for making content. if you guys have any suggestion what you want me to do, related to music let me know!
hope you guys all having a wonderful day!
8 months ago | [YT] | 103
View 11 replies
mididuck
Hello!!!
I want to make a post to share with you guys a song I help out producing for @sofuusmusic ! She has always been an amazing friend and an epic music collaborator! She is so talented in singing and song writing. I just wish she release more original song for her own project, I think she deserves it as much as the people she help out (including me). If you like rnb or stuff that is more pop-ish, you can head to her channel and follow her music journey! But for now this is her latest release!
Thank you everyone for supporting me and my music, it has been a really fulfilling experience for me! I have so much music to show you guys. And I am working hard on the songs and the visuals, I can't wait to show everyone everything I have been working on too! And of course I have made a lot of songs with Sofuu too! So if you are interested in that please go and give her your support!
"overflow" by Sofuu:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nxbxm...
9 months ago | [YT] | 20
View 4 replies
mididuck
Hello 🙋♂️
Tomorrow I will be doing a stream. I will be trying to fix the music/audio you submit to me live on stream. If you are interested in joining please join the discord and look at the latest announcement for more information! You will also need to join the discord to submit your work there so that I can "fix" it live on stream. (if you are a member of this channel your submission will be prioritized!)
I wanted to branch out to do more community driven stuff this year. I had the same goal at the start of last year with the exact same stream like this. But I guess I decided to focus more on making music and working on the album. But this year I do want to try to do more streams, create more shorts and other content than full released songs.
Here is the link to my discord: discord.gg/j6ju4dyVT8
Here is the link to the stream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIWAd...
I hope to see you there on the stream!
9 months ago | [YT] | 70
View 5 replies
mididuck
Hello my beloved viewers 💖
In just a few days, 2024 will pass. So many joy and challenges, so many things to do with these joy and challenges. Reflect, cherish, missing or despising. I'd like to believe that whatever happened might not be the best outcome nor the worst. But it happened and I always try to accept it, wrap it in a nice package so I can make room for the present and the future to come.
Music has always been something so personal for me. Starting from just a hobby for computer and tech stuff at a young age. I remember using audacity and movie maker to try to make music before I got my first copy of FL Studio from a Vietnamese forum. I would have never thought music is a tool for me to express, understand myself. To connect with people and to help me through so many tough times in my life. The worth of music to the me at the moment is so big. Externally, I also met a lot of people who celebrate my music with me. I have made some really great friends along the way. I also get some glimpse and ideas of where it could bring me. But of course there are fear and doubts, there are people who don't like my music or people who don't really have my best interest in mind. And I think that is something I am content with, and learnt to accept.
This year has been a year of a lot of personal growth for me. A lot of questions I have been asking myself, I finally found the answers for. I am more comfortable with myself and what I do and just everything in life in general. I also put a lot of focus on "mididuck", I released 20 songs under mididuck on this channel. I do see a lot of number growth and actually starting to get some money out of my music, which is something I never thought of before. I think I owe you guys a lot of thanks for making my life nearly endlessly more meaningful. I am grateful to have an audience to inspire and entertain. It is not something that come by easily, I do consider myself lucky. I know I am not anybody big yet but just imagine a few thousands of you guys listening to my music is really crazy to me. I don't think I am a very charismatic or cool person, I am not good at marketing or promoting my music. I just do what everyone else do and hope for the best, but somehow you guys choose to stay and listen.
Life is filled with struggles but also so many beautiful things. To me they are things that I try to express and portray in my music. Despise having so many of you guys telling me nice things, and having make and upload music on the internet for over 10 years. I still get nervous or scared if what I make is weird, or not relatable, or just straight up bad. But deep down, especially when I am creating the music, I feel very good about the music I make. My music is not the most technical, or the most ground breaking, or have the most artist merits. But they are what I feel strongly about, what helps me through my rough days, what I think is cool. I always used to say things like I am not good at making emotional music or that my music mean nothing or sound boring, horrible. But I will admit it now, I love the things I make, I pour a lot of my heart and soul into it, they sound really cool to me and I am scared that people might disagree with me when I say these things. I think I am ok with people disagreeing with me now, I learnt how to validate my experience now, learnt how to respect myself a bit more.
This is what I wanted to do with my music. I hope that I could convince you guys to believe in what you guys deeply and truly feel strongly about. No matter what people say or what that annoying voice in your head say. I think a lot of us lack confidence in ourselves because of how loud everything outside the world is. We feel as if there is no space left to express or build what we love. There are people who think the opposite too, who think highly of themselves and take more than they should and all that. But I believe in the nature of human being, I believe that we naturally cultivate wholesomeness, I believe that it is easier to be compassionate than being pure evil once you have a deep understand about yourself and everyone. Maybe this is just me being an idealist lol. But that is what I want to spread with my music, I hope to make the world a little bit better place by entertaining everyone with my little tunes.
This is another messy long paragraph when I am super drowsy lol. But I just wanted to reflect a bit and express my gratitude towards you guys. This channel and music thing means so much to me and without you guys it would be as special or the same. I am forever thankful and grateful for everyone of you who listen to my music 💖
I hope you all can wrap up 2024 nicely so you can make space for all the things that await you ahead in 2025. I wish you guys all the best of wishes! Please take care.
10 months ago | [YT] | 167
View 23 replies
mididuck
Hello my dear listeners,
I have decided to make a community post today because it has been a while and I love yapping. Also I just released "glitters" (spoiler alert: I forgot about the premiere date again and didn't make it to the premiere). I hope that you guys have been doing alright. And thank you for always supporting my music. I wanted to warn and advise listeners who are younger than 18 to stop reading because this gets into some dark and inappropriate topics for you guys. But if you do continue, I hope you guys could slow down a little bit and enjoy your childhood, I feel like kids grow so fast nowaday with internet and they don't get to be a kid and stuff.
I wanted to talk a little bit about "glitters", it was a really fun project and a bit different than my usual stuff when it comes to the visual. A lot of glitches and flashing colors, I hope I didn't hurt anybody eyes 💀... I wanted to get back into drawing and learning more about gfx and stuff like that, basically more visual stuff. I am not good at it but I find it super fun to make visual stuff again. As for the song, it is a very loud and heavy song, featuring Solari from Synthesizer V.
Well after releasing the song to the public. The song doesn't have to have the same meaning as the one I had for it while making it. Because I think people can have their own interpretation for the song. Humans experience varies. But if you are interested I would love to share with you guys the story behind this song, it is a pretty personal story to me. It is a story about attachment, addiction and how it both in some ways help me deal with things but also create so many problems for me. Mainly about the emotional sides of it. I am not addicted to any substance, but I am very much addicted to video games, music, computer, internet, p*rn, etc. I think I was exposed to it later than my friends but I still think it is pretty early compare to the older generations... I think I start roaming on the internet around the age of 11 and I get my own computer at the age of 13 so that is when the addiction really kicks in. I have always been a pretty happy and normal kid, I think? But a "normal" human experience is filled with pain and suffering (and of course happy and wholesome) moments. Video games, internet and music were basically my childhood. That's where I spend most of my time and was most drawn to as a kid.
It was pretty harmless, I thought. But as I grow older and learn more about the world and myself. I uncover a lot of messed up things that I was trying to cope and mask with these things. Especially with the use of p*rn. My life was not perfect, I went through a lot of crazy stuff as a kid, mostly family related. I won't get into detail but a lot of abuse and neglect. But I am alive now with a loving mother and a sister and that is all that matters 😎 But I remember as a kid and even now sometimes I would use p*rn as a emotional regulation thing. It brought me a lot of shame because I might feel ok at that moment but after my brain stabilize the chemicals. I feel a lot worse. And my life for the most part is just this cycle of insanity. This nasty thing also gave me so much that I was missing out on as a kid. The feeling of being loved and the feeling of calm and safe. But like everything, it comes with its own cost. For me it was my view on women and my spiritual growth. But underneath all these addiction is a deeper and bigger problem. I don't know if you guys have some form of attachment to anything in your life, but I challenge you guys to ask why you do those things and what those things bring you that life can't. For me it was a loving and accepting family that I never had, it was an escape to all the horrible things that I had to deal with. A retreat from all those rough things, this nasty things were somehow better than my life.
But I am good now, or I am getting better. I think I have understood myself more and the people who wronged me more. I have came to term with most of it and I think it is freeing to do so. I still have a lot of questions for myself but I am getting there and I hope you guys can figure yourself out too... There were moments where I thought I would be stuck in this mess and never be able to get out. But life is full of surprises, both good and bad. You will get out as long as you keep going and moving forward. This post might seem weird and hard to follow because I am trying not to share too much about myself but also explain the emotions I had while making the song. It is a twisted emotion but a needed one for anyone who go through a twisted existence.
I just wanted to talk a little bit about these habits we have developed with the rampant growth of internet and technologies. I think we should talk about it more honestly cause I think we all can use a little bit of honesty to ourselves.
Thank you guys for always being so supportive and listen to my music. I hope you guys all the best and see you guys next time! Wish you all a productive and amazing week ahead of yall 😤😤
also someone asked me to transcribe the texts in the videos. so i did and here is the google doc for anyone who is interested: docs.google.com/document/d/1vraEp0iaQFwG1pRRuj_fNs… (sorry for the messy texts in the video lol)
11 months ago | [YT] | 113
View 15 replies
mididuck
Hello dear listener,
By the time you guys are reading this letter, I think my debut album is finally released. I wanted to say thank you to the listeners who have been supporting me by listening and enjoying my music and the newer listeners who have just found me. I wanted to create this album mainly to prove to myself that I can do music and I can take this music creation thing more seriously. I don’t know how you guys will react to the album, but from all the singles I have released, and my previous works/projects. I think those things are enough to motivate and keep releasing music to the public. I have always enjoyed making music, and to have people from all around the world celebrate and listen to my music is just a huge bonus for me. So thank you, I honestly can’t express how grateful I am.
I also wanted to write this letter to maybe give you guys some insight about my thoughts on creating this album. An album has always been on my checklist as a musician, I think it is also a way of creating music that I haven’t gotten much practice on. So I think somewhere along the way, this seed of “creating and releasing an album” has been planted into my head. It is a huge challenge for me, there were many moments where I would doubt my ability to put together an album let alone make a decent one. Even now, after finishing everything I can still point out places where I could have done better in the album. But I guess that is ok, it is “ok to be not ok”. Things don’t have to always be perfect or good, sometimes challenges or acknowledgement of your inferiority are opportunities for great things. That is why I choose to draw a lotus as the album cover for the whole album. Lotus is a pretty flower but it grows and gets nourishment from the dirty and ugly mud. I think humans are the same, pain and suffering are horrible but if we manage to overcome them and find ways to transform them, I think they can be opportunities to nurture and be grateful for many good things in life. This is something that has really impacted me throughout the years. I have always been someone who is very judgmental of myself and subconsciously that affects how I view things around me. I want to remind myself and also share this realization with you guys through this album. I hope that we can all go through hardship with a positive and mindful attitude.
I have always struggled with communication and words. But like everyone, I yearn for deep connection with people. And because of music, I have met countless amazing people throughout the years. I learnt so much from them and went through so many ups and downs with them, and I think that is very beautiful and precious to me. This is one of the things that music, specifically sharing my music on the internet has blessed me with. A medium where I feel heard and feel validated. This is something music has brought me that I am also forever grateful for.
The theme and word “hope” is something I speak of a lot throughout my life. And it is definitely very prominent in my music, at least to me. Music has been with me through my darkest time, it is something I find a lot of comfort and peace in. It teaches me to believe in “hope” countless times, no matter how terrible a situation can get. There were times where I felt so hopeless and so overwhelmed by my own thoughts and emotions, but making music and listening to music have always managed to calm me down and give me an outlet, a way out when I am “cornered”. So that is another reason why I am so grateful for this whole music thing and why the theme “hope” is so relevant in my music.
Of course with anything in life, there are always two sides to it. Music has robbed me a lot of my time and energy and health at times too. Like every human being out there, I do doubt myself sometimes on my ability to create music, doubt if this is the right thing for me and all that stuff. Nihilistic and difficult questions to answer would show up. But the same with everything else, nothing is permanent and those moments eventually go away.
This whole album took a lot of my time and energy. There were a lot of unfinished ideas that didn’t make it to the final album. There were doubts and a lot of other challenges while making this but I learnt a lot and had a lot of fun working on this project. I believe that music that is released to the public can have multiple meanings depending on the listeners. I have my own interpretation and meaning for the songs but I am curious what you guys make of these songs. So please feel free to share with me your own story, thoughts or feelings. I would love to see others' interpretations of the album.
But overall I am just super glad that this album is finally out there for everyone to listen to. I look forward to making more music and sharing it with you guys. I also hope you guys enjoy this album, it is not perfect but I definitely gave it my all and learnt a lot from this experience. Thank you once again for reading through this long letter and thank you for listening to my music. I hope you guys are all safe and I wish you guys all the best!
1 year ago | [YT] | 216
View 36 replies
mididuck
Hello epic listeners of mididuck 👋
As the time making this post, I have managed to finish all the main ideas (arrangement) for all of the songs in my upcoming albums. But like everything in life, I can always improve upon it, the mix, melodies and even the idea itself can always be improved upon. But I think all the songs are at a state where I am pretty happy about them, and are comfortable with sharing them with you guys!
I have been asking some friends and looking around on the internet for what is the best way to release my album because this is honestly my first time releasing one. 4 months ago I wanted to release 4 singles and then I can release everything on my birthday but I don't think it will do well on other streaming platforms like Spotify/Apple Music if I do so. And after releasing the 4 other singles, I notice you guys enjoy/appreciate the little visuals I put together for my songs a lot. I have heard a lot of positive things from the Youtube videos. So I have came to the conclusion to release more singles from the album, before releasing them all into an album with all of them having their own little visual video and also time/space for people to enjoy every songs in the album.
I am just very very excited to share everything with you guys as soon as possible. But since I am the only one working on everything on this project, and a pretty big procrastinator sometimes, it probably gonna take me some time to finish and get everything ready to be released. But I am very grateful for being able to create music and have an audience waiting and enjoying my music. Thank you all for the constant support and for being patient. I will definitely let you know more but for now what I can promise is at least a song a month 😌
Working on this album has honestly taught me a lot about music, art, working habits and myself. I think if I were to do a project similar to this in the future I will definitely will have a lot of things I can do better. I haven't been streaming lately also because I don't want to spoil all of the music process on stream haha, but I will definitely try to stream more album-unrelated stuff sometimes. Anyway that is all I wanted to say in this long post, sorry for the wall of text and thank you all for your time. I hope you all are doing alright, please take care and stay safe, thank you for everything 💖
1 year ago | [YT] | 127
View 14 replies
mididuck
hello precious viewer!
i wanted to make a post to give a shoutout to a friend of mine! he is a very humble but talented individual. a very artistic person who really into graphic, motion design and music. you guys might know about him through my stream or through "asian hideout" he is the one who made all the MVs for asian hideout.
i made a small little audio/beat for him to do a little edit on and i am super impressed with what he came up with. please go and show him some love and attention!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyxoB...
1 year ago | [YT] | 25
View 1 reply
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