InvictaLand

Happy Valentines Day everyone! Here's a throwback of myself with Ms.Honey Bear Wiggler! Hope you're having a great one today! ❤️ Thanks for watching InvictaLand! 😀

4 days ago | [YT] | 15

InvictaLand

Preview of tomorrow's video! What do you think it's about? 😀

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5 days ago | [YT] | 27

InvictaLand

I just turned on the "Community" setting, whatever that means... maybe that means you can post things like on someone's Facebook profile? I'm not sure... but if it means it'll be easier to give me video suggestions, I'm for it! Drop any you have! Also! NEW video goes live at 10:30am TODAY! Thanks for watching InvictaLand! You're awesome!

1 week ago | [YT] | 22

InvictaLand

I have a question for you: Are you retired?

1 week ago | [YT] | 3

InvictaLand

NEW video dropping today at 1pm pacific! FINALLY! See ya there!

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 19

InvictaLand

Working on a new vlog for you guys finally! Hope everyone's having a great Saturday so far!

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 18

InvictaLand

View from my lunch break today.

Starting to feel a bit more like my old self, just today, staring down the last day of my weekend caregiving job tomorrow. Just knowing I have Sunday to myself to do whatever I please is such a relief, you have no idea! I’ve been working 7 days a week since August 2024!!! 17 months straight. Wow. Granted, I took little breaks here and there for a few days or when I got sick, but no regular days off in that whole time period. No time to live my life. To think about what I wanted. No energy to go after anything except showing up the next day to do the grind all over again.

My fitness has taken a huge hit. I’ve gained at least 10 lbs in this time period, probably more. My runs have gotten shorter, and I can’t remember the last time I was capable of a 10k, even at a miserably slow pace, let alone a decent one.

My novel writing has come to a standstill due to a lack of focus. It’s tough to hold a huge novel in your head when you have 7 other people’s lives to keep going above your own, give or take. I’ve tried to pluck away at it here and there, but lately I’ve been so depleted from the accumulated stress of this schedule that I can’t even begin to wrap my head around the characters or storyline at the moment.

My relationships have taken a hit. No time for fun most days, and working different schedules than my husband has taken its toll. And friendships? Well, couldn’t manage that either, and the one I did have kept pulling me in a direction I didn’t want to go, so I had to make a tough choice.

And lastly, of course, you’ve noticed my weekly videos are long gone, posting has been sporadic at best, and I’m truly sorry for that. It’s just that survival has taken priority over sharing my life online. And with my newfound free time, I want to explore that topic further, both privately and maybe with some videos about my changing experience with online culture and my desire to participate in it. There could be some changes coming to this channel that I didn’t foresee when I started posting regularly on my Arizona car camping trip. More about that later.

I don’t have the energy to make a video today. I’m terribly underslept. So this is a post instead, but once I’ve regained a sense of myself again, I’ll update you on the goings-on that have been going on. ;)

But today, due to my run-ragged status, instead of going to the gym, I chose carbs (a fluffy slice of pizza) and a drive out into the hills to luxuriate in some peace and quiet in a pullout along the road. I pushed my seat back, laid the back down as far as it would go, cracked the windows, and listened to the birds and watched the sharp shafts of light fall across the car’s interior. And for the first time since all this shit started, I finally felt a sense of myself coming home again. Returning to a version of myself I was once so comfortable and proud to be, the little weirdo out in nature by herself, bathing in silence and light, just as God intended.

The prospect of time to myself is already stirring inklings in me that were long forgotten. The random drives to the middle of nowhere, coffee in the cupholder, laptop beside me, and hours in front of me to let my imagination play, or my feet walk along overgrown trails. The energy to DREAM of a more exciting life; to FORMULATE a plan, even an imperfect one, the budding of HOPE that maybe, just maybe, my best days are still to come.

I dunno… there’s a lot of loose strings to tie up yet in my life. A lot of neglected corners have gathered dust in these last 17 months. But now, with the precious few days I have to myself each week, I can finally start to clean house. Purge again, and again, the stuff of old. Organize what’s left. And begin to look toward the future as if it were a destination instead of a fate.

The truth is, it’ll always be both. But I’m starting to believe again in the possibility of a smile lasting more than two seconds. And a lightness of heart, opening up to a new chapter, and if God wills it, a body that follows.

AMEN!!! - as the Monk Priest I cared for used to say, before he passed, the day after Christmas, 2025.

1 month ago | [YT] | 15

InvictaLand

Happy New Years Eve!

I've got a sniffle so I'm staying home and made chicken noodle soup that's warming me all the way to my tippy toes.

It's been a year! If I have the energy, I'll recap in some kinda way. Or if not, I'll just put it in a bubble and blow it away!

Either way, I hope you're having a great NYE and here's to a brighter tomorrow! Let's try to pick some REALISTIC resolutions this time, shall we? Haha

I'll be back when I can! Until then, thank you for watching InvictaLand reruns!

😀 ❤️

1 month ago | [YT] | 32

InvictaLand

Merry Christmas from my humble abode to yours!

Christmas may not look like it has in previous years, but it's honestly a lot less hassle now and a lot more restful and aligned with who I really am.

Don't have to travel, don't have to perform for people, don't even have to put on real clothes! This is the most comfortable, relaxed way to spend the holidays that actually refreshes me and makes me feel complete.

Whatever you're up to, I hope it puts a smile on your face and lights up your heart!

Happy Holidays to all!

1 month ago | [YT] | 7

InvictaLand

I'm feeling like another life update video is growing within me... just have to organize my thoughts a bit and find a calm time to sit down and spew.

The festivities are upon us, and I'll be honest, I'm not much of a holiday person anymore. I always dream of renting a cabin in the snow and hiding out from Christmas to New Years, and one day, damn it, I'm gonna do just that! But not this year. Too broke and the situation just isn't right to run off like that.

A lot of moving pieces happening. Come January, the landscape is changing yet again. But it's all moving in the right direction, so that's the main thing!

I hope everyone is having a merry time out there! I'll see you here soon eventually! When the right moment presents itself, we shall reconvene.

Many blessings!

1 month ago | [YT] | 14