All someone really wants is to be accepted completely, both at their best and their worst. Loved and forgiven at their worst and appreciated and enjoyed at their best. Given to and taken from, both is healthy. What can we do, when someone forgets all the good, when you've done something bad? What can we do when they feel so attacked when you have to push truth into their life to help them get better at things? It really, really sucks when you lose someone to this, this... whatever this is. It is breaking my heart, but what else can one do?
Lord, have You way, where there seems to be no way out.
When you have to love them from a distance because when you are close, the love triggers the pain. And you hope the time away gives them the motivation to get up and change for themselves.
This post is for those who once believed that love wins.
Who has chosen to love someone, who has wonderful memories of conversation and time spent with that person? Who gave everything because they were told they were also beautiful, kind, appreciated and loved. As time passed, you believed those things because you believed them. You believed, hoped, endured and hoped. Always for the best.
When things were good, they were beautiful. They were magical. They were real, both the good and the bad and you thought they were happy they met you.
As time passed you felt more comfortable to begin to disagree, challenge and provoke their thoughts. You saw their flaws and you held them accountable. You always wanted them to do the same for you, after all this is reality.
Instead, you were devalued, over and over. Repeatedly, faults were pointed out. You slowly no longer felt good enough. You were tolerated and in place of kindness, long-suffering, grace and mercy, You found contempt, disdain and jealousy.
But you overlooked it because you hoped for better. After all, they told you they loved you. And love would win, and that would motivate the change.
You both had committed, not to marriage, but to the journey of doing right no matter what the cost. But you didn't realise it would cost your personality, because they were unwilling to also work through the stuff that mattered to you. Your struggles became a burden, not an opportunity. You become confused because you had a plan to commit everything to God and allow a wonderful cleansing, wherever that may lead. You knew it would be hard work, require patience and there had already been such wonderful lessons and growth. You and your friends have all been there for each other in this way, it was the exchange of love after all. You remember all his posts of Agape love, sacrifice and care, and then you weigh it up to the reality.
And you blame yourself. You must not be worthy of love because they seem to know what it is, they are just not willing to do the hard work with you.
You chose to love them, at their weakest because you wanted to see growth and success. You wanted to see the change that they have desired their whole life. You wanted them to experience real love. You wanted their best and were willing to be a champion for that in their life.
But they are unwilling to be yours.
At your weakest you were a burden, problem, time-waster and annoying. You talk too much, talk too loud, not efficiently, and your thoughts are stupid and make you emotional. Because you are already at your weakest, you then of course become more emotional. You look into the eyes of your loved one with confusion, praying they would protect you and guard your vulnerability but just push you away further.
And you don't know why your love for them during their hardest times, never comes to their mind. Even as a motivator to love you back.
And when you decide to walk away to protect yourself because when you give them a chance to protect you, you know that they will blame you. You will be just like everyone else when you know that the truth of the matter is you will end up in hospital with a broken heart and a shattered mind if you stay.
And you're left dealing with the one and only question at the forefront of your mind: Did this person ever actually love me, even for a moment? Or did they love the effects I brought to their brokenness, trauma and pain in their lives, that for a moment, they might feel that little bit better? Was this only about what I could do for them?
Did they ever look and see... the real me?
And after that, you remind yourself why you were there. You weren't there to save them you just honestly enjoyed them, loved them and were taking everything they were saying at face value and just holding them to their own words. You were sharing your ideas, taking theirs. Building them up, but also being honest where they have to change. You were just having a loving relationship to the best of your ability. That's all you ever wanted from them, their best. No matter how broken they were. You remember those times you were finally able to be open with someone, at admit where you were broken. You smile as you recall the blessing of being able to reflect the forgiveness of God by repenting, choosing change and right and running. Imperfectly running. You hope that they remember it too, and it softens their heart a little.
And because you weren't there to save, you move away from them and pray they will be OK. Not because you want them to be alone, but because you never did things to save but as an act of love. You know they will be feeling alone, you know that they will be hurting. Probably thinking of every self-fulfilling prophecy they have been fighting silently since the moment you met them.
Then, you become angry and hurt. Both mixed together. You don't know what to think or feel. These feelings are real but your reaction is not hate, spite or revenge. All you can feel is pity, compassion and empathy. It is sadness for their state of life. You wish you could just take that terrible pain, fear and depression they must feel... completely away. It must be like a terrible prison, that you wish you had the key to.
This post was for those who once believed that love wins.
Your response of pity, compassion and empathy comes to mind one more time.
And then you realise that love does win.
Just, not a love that comes from you.
And you chose to stay away and pray to the one who holds the key.
"Do we honour our Father and Mother (without compromising our faith)? Do we provide for our household? Are we content in living in the position that our Lord has given us in this world but remaining to be not of the world? Are we grateful and content with our lot? Most of life is mundane. That is the honest truth. It is hard, mundane, and we are all slowly dying. That is all the more reason that we should be running our race here with our goal in mind, so that we receive a heavenly prize and are not just left with what we have achieved (or lack thereof) here on this earth that is slowly passing away along with us. Do we faithfully go to work because we know the Lord desires it to provide for our wife… our family where it is in our means? Where there is lack in our family, in the Christian family, do we provide where it is in our means? Have we recognised our own sin and temptations? If sexual, have we removed everything that is linked to that from our home from our lives? If it is drugs, have we cut off all friends that do drugs so that we will no longer be tempted? These are the self-control and disciplined kind of questions we can ask ourselves, I am not looking for specks, I ask this because I have recently found a log and it has caused me to think very seriously about what this scripture is saying and whether I am the kind of Christian that treats the word of God like some special accolade and rite of passage or whether I am allowing it to seep deep into my heart so as to love it, cherish it and actually do it..."
Excerpt from "The well-trained Christian," visit us at www.garlandofpraise.com to read the whole article @garlandofpraise
Did I watch this for the, hrm, 1000th time? Sure did, just today! 😍😭 As someone who did not have an active father who stayed with our family, I appreciated and took a lifetime to accept the loving, fatherhood of our LORD YHWH. My review is most probably going to be linked to circumstances around me at the moment, but isn't that always the way? A good story does that, it inspires and encourages reflection and provokes thought. All the godly men in this movie had a past, faced trials and temptation and did not have an easy life. Their wives were not perfect and did not always respond in the godliest of ways. What struck me, is that the men of God had to learn to live like Christ in those moments. Not battle her, chastise by a break-down of her character flaws because they are offended and hurt (do the work of the Holy Spirit) but they patiently endured, prayed and led by EXAMPLE. This changed, won and encouraged their women. It is wonderful and inspired me anew as to the heart of Christ in a man, and what it means for the man to lay down His life for His bride the way that Christ laid down His life for the church. There is a reason God instructed it this way around. When a man leads in Jesus, firstly in his own walk, he does not have to be heavy-handed but will be demonstrating God's saving grace and mercy, thereby changing lives and winning hearts. On the flip side, a man who does not lead by example in their own life but constantly calls for correction, holiness and everything wrong, will cause a woman to become withdrawn, respond in kind instead of walking by the Spirit and most importantly, she will not be able to respect a man who can not live a holy life himself.
Well done, Kendrick Brothers, well done again. May 'Courageous' truly challenge all Christians, not to pine or build up accolades and quotes and sayings, but to LIVE and OBEY through a holy life, changed by Holy Spirit, YHWH. x
"Garland of Praise" will be where my main activity will be. I am keeping my 'real' accounts and those you use to give around (you know, shops and government, etc) separate as they just get inundated with garbage. So to those who would like to hear 'two peas in a podcast' and my Christian music as I release them, please go over there. :)
The blog that goes along with 'Garland of Praise is below as well. I have been considering a new foundation series 'Will You Fail the Test?' that will begin to make an appearance there. May be able to send out a bit of a taste blog post today, so keep an eye out.
garlandofpraise.com
"Rejoice always, pray continually and in everything, give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Jesus Christ" - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
The True Advocate
The True Advocate
All someone really wants is to be accepted completely, both at their best and their worst. Loved and forgiven at their worst and appreciated and enjoyed at their best. Given to and taken from, both is healthy. What can we do, when someone forgets all the good, when you've done something bad? What can we do when they feel so attacked when you have to push truth into their life to help them get better at things? It really, really sucks when you lose someone to this, this... whatever this is. It is breaking my heart, but what else can one do?
Lord, have You way, where there seems to be no way out.
2 years ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
The True Advocate
Someone just reminded me today:
LOVE IS AN ACTION WORD.
God so loved the world that He demonstrated His love in His action. He spoke for 4000 years, and then, at the right time, He died for sinners.
Praise God for this example of love.
2 years ago | [YT] | 0
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The True Advocate
When you have to love them from a distance because when you are close, the love triggers the pain.
And you hope the time away gives them the motivation to get up and change for themselves.
2 years ago (edited) | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
The True Advocate
This post is for those who once believed that love wins.
Who has chosen to love someone, who has wonderful memories of conversation and time spent with that person? Who gave everything because they were told they were also beautiful, kind, appreciated and loved.
As time passed, you believed those things because you believed them.
You believed, hoped, endured and hoped. Always for the best.
When things were good, they were beautiful.
They were magical.
They were real, both the good and the bad and you thought they were happy they met you.
As time passed you felt more comfortable to begin to disagree, challenge and provoke their thoughts.
You saw their flaws and you held them accountable.
You always wanted them to do the same for you, after all this is reality.
Instead, you were devalued, over and over.
Repeatedly, faults were pointed out.
You slowly no longer felt good enough.
You were tolerated and in place of kindness, long-suffering, grace and mercy,
You found contempt, disdain and jealousy.
But you overlooked it because you hoped for better. After all, they told you they loved you.
And love would win, and that would motivate the change.
You both had committed, not to marriage, but to the journey of doing right no matter what the cost.
But you didn't realise it would cost your personality, because they were unwilling to also work through the stuff that mattered to you. Your struggles became a burden, not an opportunity. You become confused because you had a plan to commit everything to God and allow a wonderful cleansing, wherever that may lead. You knew it would be hard work, require patience and there had already been such wonderful lessons and growth. You and your friends have all been there for each other in this way, it was the exchange of love after all. You remember all his posts of Agape love, sacrifice and care, and then you weigh it up to the reality.
And you blame yourself. You must not be worthy of love because they seem to know what it is, they are just not willing to do the hard work with you.
You chose to love them, at their weakest because you wanted to see growth and success. You wanted to see the change that they have desired their whole life. You wanted them to experience real love. You wanted their best and were willing to be a champion for that in their life.
But they are unwilling to be yours.
At your weakest you were a burden, problem, time-waster and annoying. You talk too much, talk too loud, not efficiently, and your thoughts are stupid and make you emotional. Because you are already at your weakest, you then of course become more emotional. You look into the eyes of your loved one with confusion, praying they would protect you and guard your vulnerability but just push you away further.
And you don't know why your love for them during their hardest times, never comes to their mind.
Even as a motivator to love you back.
And when you decide to walk away to protect yourself because when you give them a chance to protect you, you know that they will blame you. You will be just like everyone else when you know that the truth of the matter is you will end up in hospital with a broken heart and a shattered mind if you stay.
And you're left dealing with the one and only question at the forefront of your mind:
Did this person ever actually love me, even for a moment? Or did they love the effects I brought to their brokenness, trauma and pain in their lives, that for a moment, they might feel that little bit better? Was this only about what I could do for them?
Did they ever look and see... the real me?
And after that, you remind yourself why you were there. You weren't there to save them you just honestly enjoyed them, loved them and were taking everything they were saying at face value and just holding them to their own words. You were sharing your ideas, taking theirs. Building them up, but also being honest where they have to change. You were just having a loving relationship to the best of your ability. That's all you ever wanted from them, their best. No matter how broken they were. You remember those times you were finally able to be open with someone, at admit where you were broken. You smile as you recall the blessing of being able to reflect the forgiveness of God by repenting, choosing change and right and running. Imperfectly running. You hope that they remember it too, and it softens their heart a little.
And because you weren't there to save, you move away from them and pray they will be OK. Not because you want them to be alone, but because you never did things to save but as an act of love. You know they will be feeling alone, you know that they will be hurting. Probably thinking of every self-fulfilling prophecy they have been fighting silently since the moment you met them.
Then, you become angry and hurt. Both mixed together. You don't know what to think or feel.
These feelings are real but your reaction is not hate, spite or revenge.
All you can feel is pity, compassion and empathy.
It is sadness for their state of life.
You wish you could just take that terrible pain, fear and depression they must feel... completely away.
It must be like a terrible prison, that you wish you had the key to.
This post was for those who once believed that love wins.
Your response of pity, compassion and empathy comes to mind one more time.
And then you realise that love does win.
Just, not a love that comes from you.
And you chose to stay away and pray to the one who holds the key.
#1john4:19
www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20John%204%…
@GarlandofPraise
2 years ago (edited) | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
The True Advocate
"Do we honour our Father and Mother (without compromising our faith)? Do we provide for our household? Are we content in living in the position that our Lord has given us in this world but remaining to be not of the world? Are we grateful and content with our lot? Most of life is mundane. That is the honest truth. It is hard, mundane, and we are all slowly dying. That is all the more reason that we should be running our race here with our goal in mind, so that we receive a heavenly prize and are not just left with what we have achieved (or lack thereof) here on this earth that is slowly passing away along with us. Do we faithfully go to work because we know the Lord desires it to provide for our wife… our family where it is in our means? Where there is lack in our family, in the Christian family, do we provide where it is in our means? Have we recognised our own sin and temptations? If sexual, have we removed everything that is linked to that from our home from our lives? If it is drugs, have we cut off all friends that do drugs so that we will no longer be tempted? These are the self-control and disciplined kind of questions we can ask ourselves, I am not looking for specks, I ask this because I have recently found a log and it has caused me to think very seriously about what this scripture is saying and whether I am the kind of Christian that treats the word of God like some special accolade and rite of passage or whether I am allowing it to seep deep into my heart so as to love it, cherish it and actually do it..."
Excerpt from "The well-trained Christian," visit us at www.garlandofpraise.com to read the whole article @garlandofpraise
2 years ago (edited) | [YT] | 1
View 0 replies
The True Advocate
CHRISTIAN MOVIE OF THE MONTH: COURAGEOUS BY KENDRICK BROTHERS
TRAILER: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70MVn...
Did I watch this for the, hrm, 1000th time? Sure did, just today! 😍😭 As someone who did not have an active father who stayed with our family, I appreciated and took a lifetime to accept the loving, fatherhood of our LORD YHWH. My review is most probably going to be linked to circumstances around me at the moment, but isn't that always the way? A good story does that, it inspires and encourages reflection and provokes thought. All the godly men in this movie had a past, faced trials and temptation and did not have an easy life. Their wives were not perfect and did not always respond in the godliest of ways. What struck me, is that the men of God had to learn to live like Christ in those moments. Not battle her, chastise by a break-down of her character flaws because they are offended and hurt (do the work of the Holy Spirit) but they patiently endured, prayed and led by EXAMPLE. This changed, won and encouraged their women. It is wonderful and inspired me anew as to the heart of Christ in a man, and what it means for the man to lay down His life for His bride the way that Christ laid down His life for the church. There is a reason God instructed it this way around. When a man leads in Jesus, firstly in his own walk, he does not have to be heavy-handed but will be demonstrating God's saving grace and mercy, thereby changing lives and winning hearts. On the flip side, a man who does not lead by example in their own life but constantly calls for correction, holiness and everything wrong, will cause a woman to become withdrawn, respond in kind instead of walking by the Spirit and most importantly, she will not be able to respect a man who can not live a holy life himself.
Well done, Kendrick Brothers, well done again. May 'Courageous' truly challenge all Christians, not to pine or build up accolades and quotes and sayings, but to LIVE and OBEY through a holy life, changed by Holy Spirit, YHWH. x
2 years ago (edited) | [YT] | 1
View 0 replies
The True Advocate
"Garland of Praise" will be where my main activity will be. I am keeping my 'real' accounts and those you use to give around (you know, shops and government, etc) separate as they just get inundated with garbage. So to those who would like to hear 'two peas in a podcast' and my Christian music as I release them, please go over there. :)
The blog that goes along with 'Garland of Praise is below as well. I have been considering a new foundation series 'Will You Fail the Test?' that will begin to make an appearance there. May be able to send out a bit of a taste blog post today, so keep an eye out.
garlandofpraise.com
"Rejoice always, pray continually and in everything, give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Jesus Christ"
- 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
2 years ago (edited) | [YT] | 1
View 0 replies