I got written up for walking down the hallway in my own dorm.

I lied under oath to put my mother in prison.

My sister tried to punish my nephew for being kind.

Have you ever pointed someone in the wrong direction and they thanked you for it?

When did you regret doing the right thing?

When my professor started failing me because I rejected him, I realized the...

Being ugly put my life in danger.

My job interview was going fine until she asked, "What's your zodiac sign?"

My cousin said, "Keep your legs closed around my fiancé. Don’t come to my...

I smashed my bratty nephew's phone and I'd do it again.

While waitressing, a woman asked me, "Are the shoes you're wearing comfortable to run in?"

When did my replacement find out why I let him have her?

"My husband hates every name I pick," my client said. When I realized who...

My roommate put extra fries on my plate and said "eat something before you disappear completely."

I sent a flirty text to my wife. It went to my work group chat instead. My boss...

My wife laughed at her best friend for caring about her patients. I told...

"You're like the brother I never had." That's what my crush said. Right to my...

When my girlfriend opened her Christmas present, she burst into tears and...

A stranger saved my life, and I wish he didn’t.

My daughter's new friend whispered "Please don't let me go home." Then I heard...

Using sign language saved my son's life.

My student gave me her essay, it said, "Can you go home with me tonight?"

My husband plans to poison me. I need to make a plan.

While trick or treating, someone dressed as SpongeBob answered...

The School Called, “We Don’t Think Your Son Will Make It, What Did You Put In His Lunch?”

I asked my aunt if she wanted to bury another child.

Have you ever smuggled something into school and your principal asked to puff on it?

My best friend's wedding invite said "No plus ones"—so I sent my regrets from Hawaii.

My fiancée said my car embarrassed her, so I picked her up in my new Lamborghini.

My sister mocked me for being child-free, until she asked me to babysit and I said no.

My girlfriend mocked my dream business then begged for a job when it took off.

My dad refused to walk me down the aisle because I'm gay—so my mom did it twice as proud.

My wife said she “needed space,” so I gave her a new apartment and divorce papers.

My brother's wife mocked me for being single, until she caught her husband texting me.

My fiancée said she was testing my loyalty, so I tested hers—with results she didn’t expect.

My ex posted about her new man, so I commented, "He still owes me rent."

My ex begged for another chance, then met my fiancée at our engagement party.

My wife's best friend flirted with me, so I told my wife's mom everything.

My mom told me family comes first, until she saw what I left her in the will.

My mom sold my childhood home without telling me, so I bought the one next door to hers.

My wife called me cheap, then cried when she found out I paid off her parents’ debt.

My stepbrother crashed my car and laughed—so I canceled his college payments.

My fiancée left me for her boss, then her boss invited me to their engagement party.

My wife's "male best friend" called me controlling, so I gave her the choice—me or him.

My dad cut me off for dropping out, then begged for help when I became rich

My girlfriend said she didn't want marriage, so I married someone who did.

My sister accused me of being lazy—so I bought her house at auction.

My coworker took credit for my project, so I let him present it—without the key file.