RoanCamille

Ouchie must've hurt dang

5 days ago | [YT] | 2

RoanCamille

Sharing this cuz one of my projects was in here ^^

1 week ago | [YT] | 0

RoanCamille

🩵💚

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 0

RoanCamille

As you can tell from the last few RC Trials we had, I am currently experimenting on a long term story telling format for the series. The last 2 seasons have been oneshots that I ended up combining together to form Evelyn's backstory in the last episode. However I took a different direction this season. Letting the players make their own characters, and then taking them through different stories and universes. Basically keeping the story weaved while still being a different theme every episodes. With an added simpler mechanics that I failed to implement last season, using the D6. And the more time passes, I realize that Im more in control of the players' chaos and destruction now than the last few years. And thats when I realized my own power as a host and have been causing the chaos on my own, traumatizing my players in the funniest of ways while still giving them space to breath for their own crazy plans. Of course, I cant tell how much I've grown as RC Trials' host really, on account of Niks, Blu, Vince and the OGs not really being there anymore. The players this season are more so DND veterans who arent as psychotic as the previous line of players T-T So I was able to focus more on the more deeper parts of the story without the fear of any of my characters getting eaten. Case and point I've had to change my approach in hosting and its been wonderful to get a fresh new start. But besides that, I still do miss the old players... Part of me wishes I could get at least ONE session with the main cast, and see how improved I got with my hosting skills. But idk thats if a miracle comes in

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 1

RoanCamille

I've never had such a hard time trying to find an Italian in my entire life

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 1

RoanCamille

Life and Channel Update:

Okay I'm tired of beating around the bush, It's a new year and some major things are happening to the channel, Of course with Evelyn AfterLog 3 on the way and the next episode of RC Trials coming in after. I hope y'all excited for that! But for now I will discuss about the one thing that hasn't been appearing on my channel as much as it did last year. The Vlogs As you can see, the vlogs has been declining by a lot. But don't worry, there's one on the way! It's just... I was drained of motivation to edit the other day cuz of certain things.... Let me just tell you actually: I could tell whenever I'm spacing out already. Does not happen every so often because mentally I had gotten better so one has to wonder how this pile of sheets came back. Well fellow friend, when your a people pleaser and you end up not making the cut its start seeping into your self image. As for what I'm talking about, yesterday's vlog was great! No doubt it will make for a wonderful 1k upload. Blasting kareoke songs and seeing the gurlies (And Grand Design XD) was one of the best things that happened to me this entire vacation. At least I got out of the house. I will say, we were screaming our lungs out so my voice is a little sore and my cash money is completely out 💀 However a little story to share with y'all, when I got home from that trip I was a little bummed out that some of the others that I invited couldn't make it since that was one of my last hangouts before I returned to the city again for another few months of college. But I still had money left... I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to them so I tried to salvage it and see if I could still sneak something in for the last few days I was here, Just so I can see everyone equally, but from how I saw it (I reiterate, how I SAW IT) The response to that message after I said it in our private GC was kind of harsh. And I had completely spaced out for a second. I didn't know how to respond to at first, and then when my emotions were finally collected, I completely just gave up on those plans and moved them to next summer... But I'd be lying if I said that I didn't end up bawling all night after I got home. I couldn't force them to come and it's probably on me that I sounded like I expected too much but I was really wanting to see them before I left that's why I tried my best to salvage it seeing as I had a few vacant days but in the end I kinda just threw in the towel and was like "I yield". Mind you my expectations were already on the dirt, I'm just REALLY genuinely happy I wasn't alone and we were enjoying the arcade. It's just things like this hurt y'know?

Case and point, This is to say that the vlog I'm uploading will probably be the VERY LAST VLOG on my channel for now. I'm taking a Indefinite hiatus on them. 1. For the obvious reason of I'm not in Bohol anymore and I don't have manila friends to film with or even hangout in general 2. after yesterday, I am very much traumatized to even bother anyone with another hangout or even suggest the idea, even one for the summer. It's probably just my anxiety speaking. I was just genuinely bummed out after yesterday that my gf had to point it out to me that I was already spacing out, overstimulated and tripping myself over everything (Literally) for a miracle that WASNT EVEN GONNA COME. And now I'm genuinely ashamed of myself because I planned so much and saved up my only Christmas money just to get that harsh response when I came home and now I'm just recovering from the stinging pain. So unless dad takes me to another place fun in manila or if a miracle happens by these last few days (which I don't think is gonna happen seeing as I may or may not have a doctor's appointment in the last few days that one's unsure, also again I had just given up on everything) The vlogs are out of the picture. And along with that I don't think I can even get myself to face such humiliation at the moment so I'm just gonna take a yt break for now. I know I had a Christmas voice acted video supposedly in the works, but I got increasingly sick and this happened so it will probably be out late January or early Feb. Idc if it's not Christmas anymore by then, I was put in this state by a hurtful statement when I got home, I will spend the rest of my rest days trying to get a hold of myself before I start spiralling into madness 🙂 Just hold on tight, cuz I'm editing that vlog and I will make it extra special don't worry. Just don't mind if there's some editing mistakes, your girl is recovering from an increase of social anxiety.

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

RoanCamille

I'm about to reach 1k uploads on this channel and it's scaring me-

1 month ago | [YT] | 1

RoanCamille

TRIGGER WARNING: I talk about a lose of a mentor figure here... It's a little personal to me. I got reminded of it and felt the need to talk about it.


I got myself into such a huge fight the other day, so much so it resurfaced memories I didn't want to be reminded of again. Specifically of my late guidance counselor. Which I will talk about here since I don't know where else to talk about it...

She was my first real loss. Prior to this I never had anyone in the family or anyone close to me die and be given a funeral. So when I heard the news back in 2020, I was beyond heartbroken.

I write mentally ill characters... Actually alot of my stories revolve around characters with struggles with their beliefs, emotions and morals. I chose to be that way. Aside from the fact I have a brother with Autism, my guidance counselor was the reason I advocate heavily for awareness of this topic.

When I was in Grade 8 I was still severely depressed. Still trying to navigate life after being treated like crap by other people in my life. That's when I met ma'am genie. She recognized me straight away cuz I was also the same kid who she saw was filming a movie at the time...

She saw my potential in sharing my stories with the rest of the world, but she knew my depression was what stopped me from even wanting to. So she helped me express those thoughts. Either drawing, writing or anything else. All my classmates gave up on helping me cuz I was hopeless, she was the one who stuck with me until the end of the school year when quarantine happened...

Of course by that time I was already feeling better, I had started my YouTube career and I was grabbing opportunities left and right. From being nominated for school council or being featured in a school art book. One day I had gotten a message. It was from maam gen... she told me how proud she was of my disposition. She was happy with how happier and confident I was...

Of course... Those were some of the last few words she said before she died...

I didn't even get to say goodbye. We were in quarantine and she was buried in Cebu. I didn't even get to see her one last time... Heck no news went out about her being Ill or being at risk of a seizure or heart attack... It was all too sudden...

I attended the prayer offering my school gave to ma'am gen... All of the people she's ever helped... I only realized then that I was probably the last person she helped face to face... Some of them got to say goodbye to her... I didn't...

This is why I don't like going to therapists anymore. After ma'am gen there hasn't been a therapist who was as good as she was, or at least someone I was comfortable with. Maybe one but that's it.

And everything I do now, I do for her. Every story I put out, I do it in her honor. I am a firm advocate for all of the children, teens and adults that doesn't have a voice... That are never able to voice out their depressive thoughts cuz the environment they grew up in doesn't allow them to. It's unfair that we live in a society so judgemental. If my stories reach out to kids out there and tell them that its okay to feel these feelings and they are completely valid for having them, that would've been enough for me... that's what my counsellor said to me anyways.

3 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 2

RoanCamille

OPENING MY DOORS AGAIN FOR NEW RC TRIALS PLAYERS! Let me know in the comments right now if you would want to hop in the chaos

3 months ago | [YT] | 0

RoanCamille

💛🩶

3 months ago | [YT] | 0