Preserved Childhood by Linda Nnodiogu

Effective Parenting for Preteens and Teens: Tip 1 - Listen More, Talk Less

As parents, we want to raise confident, happy, and well-adjusted children. However, the preteen and teenage years can be challenging, especially in our Nigerian culture where respect for authority often translates to one-way communication. Today, I'll share the first of five tips that have helped numerous parents and teens I've worked with over the years.

*The Power of Listening*

Do you often find yourself doing most of the talking, issuing instructions, and giving orders? While it's essential to set boundaries and expectations, it's equally important to listen to your child's thoughts, feelings, and concerns. When we dominate conversations, our children become passive listeners, and we miss out on valuable opportunities to understand their perspectives.

The Consequences of Not Listening

When teens feel unheard, misunderstood, and controlled, they may rebel, become defiant, or withdraw. They might test boundaries, disregard house rules, or find unhealthy outlets for their frustration. As parents, it's crucial to recognize that our children are becoming adults and deserve to be understood and heard.

The 80/20 Rule: A Game-Changer for Parents

When engaging with your teen, try applying the 80/20 rule: spend 80% of the time listening and 20% talking. Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings. For example:

1. Instead of Are you angry? ask How did what I said or did make you feel?
2. Instead of Are you okay? ask You look worried, what's on your mind?
3. How do you feel when you're around [insert name]?
4. Tell me one thing you'd like us to change in this house?
5. Can you tell me about a time I made you feel sad or happy, and how can I do better?

The Benefits of Listening

By listening more and talking less, you'll:

- Understand what your teen is struggling with and be better equipped to help them
- Strengthen your relationship with your teen and build trust
- Reduce conflicts and yelling

Effective communication is a two-way street. By listening more and talking less, you'll create a safe and supportive environment for your teen to express themselves. Stay tuned for the next four tips, and remember to apply the 80/20 rule in your conversations with your teen.

Coach Linda Nnodiogu
Founder, Parent's Nurture Hub

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8 months ago | [YT] | 4

Preserved Childhood by Linda Nnodiogu

The Conspiracy of Silence 🤫
Yesterday one of the girls that attended the summit reached out to me and complained of a classmates who has been harassing her because she turned down his advances.

He body shames her in front of the class, makes jokes about her and this makes her feel uncomfortable and sad, in her words, it was affecting her emotionally as he kept taunting her that she was underdeveloped for her age.

I was happy when I got her message, we have never visited her school to teach but the ”Speak Up” session by Uche Udoye Ogalue during the workshop empowered her to share her struggle with me, and that is the purpose of that summit for the children.

I took time to teach her about early and lat blooming Conspiracy of Silence 🤫
Yesterday one of the girls that attended the summit reached out to me and complained of a classmates who has been harassing her because she turned down his advances.

He body shames her in front of the class, makes jokes about her and this makes her feel uncomfortable and sad, in her words, it was affecting her emotionally as he kept taunting her that she was underdeveloped for her age.

I was happy when I got her message, we have never visited her school to teach but the ”Speak Up” session by Uche Udoye Ogalue during the workshop empowered her to share her struggle with me, and that is the purpose of that summit for the children.

I took time to teach her about early and late blooming in puberty, I validated her feelings and told her how to handle the situation and she was happy. That boy who is harassing her also learned that behavior, the emotional harassment will one day become physical violence because he cannot handle rejection.

At the Summit, Fr Osy-Aloy Orakwe gave an explosive lecture on the conspiracy of silence at different levels, the people at the receiving end of this culture of silence are the children who suffer in silence, unequipped to speak up against violence of all forms.

It’s day 3 of the 16 days of activism against gender based violence and discrimination, for the students who attended this summit, they understand that their voices are powerful against physical, emotional, and sèxual abuse.

#PCF2024 #16daysofactivism2024 #ChildSafetySummit #PreservedChildhoodFoundation #childcare #women #girls

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1 year ago | [YT] | 3

Preserved Childhood by Linda Nnodiogu

Dear girl child
We walk so that you can Run, you have a voice, you have a gift, never be afraid to use it.

Happy international Day of the Girl Child.

#internationaldayofgirls
#girl
#girlchild

1 year ago | [YT] | 2

Preserved Childhood by Linda Nnodiogu

If you want a movie that will keep you on the edge of your seat, watch Bequest, an intriguing story with a shocking twist 😀💯
You can watch it on ‪@soniauchetv‬ and don’t forget to subscribe.

Story and Screenplay by ME
#nigerianmovie

1 year ago | [YT] | 3

Preserved Childhood by Linda Nnodiogu

Everybody is doing it… this is the most common thing Teenagers say when I question them about the bad choices they make.

There is an information gap which makes them vulnerable to the things that are said and done around them.
Arming them with the right information before they enter secondary school gives them the opportunity to make informed decisions about their body, relationship, sèxual orientation, identity and their studies.

This free Webinar for children between 9-13 addresses these issues.
Date: 6th July
Time: 7:30pm

Invite parents and share this information to spread the word.


chat.whatsapp.com/InAxpHZ7eZ47qRQ9HO0KyV

1 year ago | [YT] | 3

Preserved Childhood by Linda Nnodiogu

Today is World Menstrual Hygiene Day
A perfect opportunity for mothers and fathers of girls between the ages of 9 to 18 to have a puberty chat with their daughters.

This is the perfect day to teach your daughter how to take proper care of herself during her period. Today is a good day to prepare your daughter who hasn’t seen her Menstruation 🩸 about it. Tell her what to expect, and how to take care of herself when she eventually gets it, you may not be there.

Dear Parents, as you do this, don’t forget to talk to them with a positive outlook on Period, it is not dirty, taboo or shameful. Periods are rights of passage, a thing of pride.
Tell your daughters the significance and importance of Periods in their lives. It is part of their identity.

Yesterday, I joined the AURICK Foundation &
Stevenson Holistic Care Foundation on a visit to Queens Convent College Awka.
We had a great time and sanitary pads were distributed to the girls.
We talked about Menstrual hygiene, s.ex Education, period stigma, and identity Crisis.

#menstrualhygieneday2023 #menstruation #coach #familyblog #parenting

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1 year ago | [YT] | 3

Preserved Childhood by Linda Nnodiogu

Today is World Menstrual Hygiene Day
A perfect opportunity for mothers and fathers of girls between the ages of 9 to 18 to have a puberty chat with their daughters.

This is the perfect day to teach your daughter how to take proper care of herself during her period. Today is a good day to prepare your daughter who hasn’t seen her Menstruation 🩸 about it. Tell her what to expect, and how to take care of herself when she eventually gets it, you may not be there.

Dear Parents, as you do this, don’t forget to talk to them with a positive outlook on Period, it is not dirty, taboo or shameful. Periods are rights of passage, a thing of pride.
Tell your daughters the significance and importance of Periods in their lives. It is part of their identity.

Yesterday, I joined the AURICK Foundation &
Stevenson Holistic Care Foundation on a visit to Queens Convent College Awka.
We had a great time and sanitary pads were distributed to the girls.
We talked about Menstrual hygiene, s.ex Education, period stigma, and identity Crisis.

#menstrualhygieneday2023 #menstruation #coach #familyblog #parenting

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1 2 3 4 5

1 year ago | [YT] | 2

Preserved Childhood by Linda Nnodiogu

Creating bonds that last a lifetime…

Whenever I advice mothers to get close to their teenage daughters, they often say they don’t know what to discuss with them apart from academics.

Is this you?

Well, I’m here to tell you that there are a thousand and one burning issues these girls are seeking answers to, especially around the changes they are experiencing due to puberty.

Let’s take shaving for instance, do you know your daughter may not be aware of the possible reaction her body might have due to shaving?
Razor bumps, itching that might comes with new hair growth, ingrown hair and different ways to shave, etc.
Do you know she can see these skin reactions as symptoms of infection and might go behind you to self medicate?

You don’t need to know so much about these things, just sharing your personal experience with your child makes them comfortable to discuss theirs with you.

Do you know that many young girls have been misled by simply asking the wrong person questions?

Dear Mummy, call your 11-18 years old daughter today, get a new set of shaving stick, creams or what have you.

Share your shaving experience to kick off the body conversation today, I bet you, tomorrow she would be a lot more comfortable to ask you other things that are bothering her.

If you don’t make yourself accessible for their questions, they will seek answers from their peers and the internet, you never can tell where that might lead them.

Linda Nnodiogu
Teen coach
Founder of the Preserved Childhood Foundation

#parenting #viral #parentingtips

1 year ago | [YT] | 2

Preserved Childhood by Linda Nnodiogu

HOW TO MANAGE A STRONG WILLED CHILD.

Parenting a Strong-Willed Child. These are the children we commonly refer to as Stubborn…

The children who question our authority, who seek to be independent, the risk taker, that child that challenges boundaries, the hyper active child who does the opposite of what they are asked to do.

I’m here to tell you that most of them are misunderstood, and our Authoritarian parenting style compounds their problems.

Understand that their natural attributes to question authority, be assertive, self-confident, risk takers and high energy are some of the attributes an adult needs to thrive.

Using the authoritarian African parenting style on a strong-willed child will result in a child with a crushed self-esteem, anxiety, mental health issue, strained relationship with parents and authority figures,
zero motivation and creativity. They may rebel or act out

The best approach would be to
1—-Set house rules, boundaries, expectations and consequences. Dont do this alone, involve the children in this process so that they all know the consequences of each action.

2 —- Model the behaviour you want to see, i can assure you, that strong-willed child will question and try you with their words and actions if you don’t.3–Encourage independence, ask their opinion, give them task.

3-- Stay calm and be patient with them, stop cursing them, stop beating, they will get used to the whip. Try love, tenderness, show them mercy and empathy so that they will become aware of the effects of their actions on others.

In conclusion, you need to be patient and consistent. Choose your battles wisely, don't react to every tamtrum they throw.

Linda Nnodiogu
Author/Screenwriter/Child Advocate
Founder Preserved Childhood Foundation
#parenting #strongwilled #children #parentingtips #daughter #sons #teens

1 year ago | [YT] | 6

Preserved Childhood by Linda Nnodiogu

Here are a few tips to help parents with s€x education and how to prevent abuse.

**From 18 months, teach your child the appropriate names of their body parts, don't call their penis or Vagina, pee-pee.
Point out private parts, your penis, vagina, buttocks, Laps, thighs and armpits. (Teach then to avoid tickling)

**Start telling them that these parts covered by their pants are private and should not be touched by anyone, except mummy when giving them a bath.

**Continue singing this to them everyday until they are 3, start teaching them that anyone who touches them there they should say no and tell you. Children forget easily, be consistent.

**From age 6 start teaching them their different body parts and it’s function.
From age 9 start teaching them expected changes in their body due to puberty.

**Teach them not to remove their clothes in public because their privates are private.

***Teach them that their bodies belongs to them and they have the right to say no when someone touches them in a way they don't like.

**Teach them never to keep secrets from you, especially the secrets that concerns their body. Assure them that no matter the threats issued to them, they should never keep secrets. And that you will stand by them and believe them. Even if the person threatens to kill them if they speak up.

**Teach them body boundaries, they should not engage in inappropriate plays with other kids. They should not touch other people’s privates, both adult and children and shouldn’t allow anyone touch them.

**Tell them not to sit on peoples lap. Avoid leaving them with adults unsupervised.

**Know the kind of plays they engage in with other kids by asking questions.
Know their friends and people they spend time with.

**Sensor TV channels at home, do not allow them read or watch adult content.

**Don't allow your kids play with people’s phones, they might see pornographic videos or pictures.

**Warn adults in your home not to expose your kids to adult content, this is because children practice what they see.

**Talk and listen to your kids, listen to the little things they tell you, believe them when they tell you an adult touched them inappropriately and remove that person from their life.

**Child Abusé is not a one time event and is usually perpetrated by relatives and friends not strangers. Yes, your close family, people who have access to your kids are the likely culprits so trust no one.
Know when your child is uncomfortable with an adult and ask questions.

**Be consistent in your teaching, children forget.
Share your thoughts, subscribe to this channel.
#education #parenting #safety

Linda Nnodiogu.
(Author & Child Advocate)

1 year ago | [YT] | 3