Robert Kos Therapy Paris

Hello everyone,

Here's a thought that might seem counter-intuitive. What if being "too calm" is actually a symptom of an anger problem?

Many of us grew up in environments where expressing anger was unsafe, so we learned to suppress it, disconnect from it, or push it down. We become the person who is cool, in control, no drama — the rock. But what happens to all that unexpressed anger?

In my new video, I explore the psychology of suppressed anger: how it develops, the subtle and surprising ways it bleeds out into our lives (from chronic irritability to perfectionism), and how we can begin to reconnect with this vital emotion in a healthy way.

You can watch the full exploration here:
https://youtu.be/vln3OsDlSZE

Do you relate to this idea of being disconnected from your anger?

I would be very interested to read your own reflections and experiences in the comments.

Robert

6 hours ago | [YT] | 0

Robert Kos Therapy Paris

Hello everyone,

For some, the holiday season is a time of uncomplicated joy. But for many of us, it can be messy, lonely, or just straight-up painful. This is for those of us thinking, "Oh god, not this again."

Whether you're facing complicated family dynamics or will be alone this year, this video is a survival guide for you.

We'll talk about practical ways to cope with loneliness, and for those of you heading into the "holiday hunger games," we'll discuss the power of disengaging. This is your official permission slip to not be the emotional babysitter for your family this year. Your presence is more than enough of a gift.

You can watch the full survival guide (and find links to reflection worksheets) here:
https://youtu.be/RRgkPe8KcPU

What is one boundary you are giving yourself permission to hold this holiday season?

Let's share some strength and strategies in the comments.

Robert

1 week ago | [YT] | 0

Robert Kos Therapy Paris

Hello everyone,

'New Year's resolutions never work.' We've all heard it, and for a lot of us, it's been true. But what if the problem isn't the resolution, but the way we approach it?

As we head into the end of the year, I wanted to share my own story with New Year's resolutions and the specific, sustainable method I used to make real, life-altering changes — from getting fit to kickstarting a new career.

In my new video, I’m breaking down my three-step framework: moving from a vague ambition to a concrete, real-world plan. It's not about perfection or willpower; it's about direction and a system that keeps you accountable with kindness.

You can watch the full guide (and download a free reflection worksheet) here:
https://youtu.be/39QDklsrcEs

What is one small change or new direction you are reflecting on for the coming year?

I'd love to read your intentions in the comments.

Robert

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 0

Robert Kos Therapy Paris

Hello everyone,

There’s always a moment when it hits you. Maybe you realize you needed gloves for your morning commute, or you find yourself pulling out jackets you forgot you owned. The season has turned. Winter is coming.

While I love the beauty of autumn and winter, I also know that for many of us, the colder weather and less sunlight can bring on a change in mood. You might feel a little flatter, slower, or more nostalgic. You don't need to have seasonal affective disorder (SAD) to feel the winter blues; it's a natural human response to the changing seasons.

In my new video, I’m sharing my winter survival guide — a set of practical, intentional tips on how to work with the energy of this season, rather than feeling overwhelmed by it. We'll talk about everything from preparing your environment to nourishing your body and planning for pleasure.

You can watch the full guide here:
https://youtu.be/zPbLe_awc6M

What was the moment this year that made you realize winter was on its way? I'd love to read your stories in the comments.

Robert

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 0

Robert Kos Therapy Paris

Hello to all the international students in Paris,

This video is for you as you approach the end of your time here. Whether your stay has been a dream or a roller coaster, you've lived a huge amount of life in a short time. Now comes one of the hardest parts: saying goodbye well.

How do you integrate this massive experience without spiraling or going numb? How do you create a sense of closure?

In my new video (Part 3 of my Study Abroad series), I offer a gentle guide to this process. We'll talk about accepting the end, facing the difficult emotions with gratitude or self-forgiveness, and the importance of creating meaningful rituals to say goodbye to both the city and the people who have shaped your time here.

You can watch the full guide to leaving well here:
https://youtu.be/0MyJhXnu5HQ

For those of you who have studied abroad, what's one piece of advice you would give to someone who is about to leave?

Let's share some wisdom in the comments.

Robert

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 0

Robert Kos Therapy Paris

Hello everyone,

The truth is out there... or is it? In honour of the upcoming anniversary of the assassination of JFK, I’m talking about conspiracy theories in today's video.

This isn't a video about fact-checking specific claims. Instead, I wanted to take a more personal angle, sharing my own story with conspiracy thinking — from being a child watching The X-Files to a teenager who saw skepticism as a virtue, and finally to an adult watching these theories shape world history.

Most importantly, I want to explore the painful context that makes these theories so seductive: a world of broken promises, failed authority, and real, unhealed trauma.

You can watch my full personal take on this complex topic here:
https://youtu.be/DJk-emcJ0f0

What is your own experience with conspiracy theories? Have you ever found one compelling?

I would love to create a thoughtful and respectful conversation in the comments.

Robert

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

Robert Kos Therapy Paris

Hello everyone,

I find myself very moved today on the 10th anniversary of the terrorist attacks that took place here in Paris. Being someone who frequently goes to concerts, there’s a chillingly high probability that if I had been living here then, I would’ve been in the audience at the Bataclan that night. Or if not there, at one of the cafés on Rue de Charonne. It's a frightening and sad thought to sit with.

A tragedy on this scale has so many different layers of grief and meaning. Rather than repeating the many important things others are saying today, I wanted to mention two reflections that are weighing particularly heavily on my own heart.

The first is a deep sadness for the counterproductive nature of such violence. Whatever misguided notions of correcting injustice the perpetrators may have held, destruction only ends up poisoning the well. It undermines and damages the difficult, patient, and essential work that real advocates for a better world do every single day. It is a profound failure of imagination and humanity.

The other is for the live music community here. As part of this community, I personally know so many dedicated people — artists, technicians, venue owners — who work to keep the spirit of live entertainment alive. Concerts in Paris almost always feel to me like sacred spaces, where strangers unite in a shared spirit of joy and communion. In addition to the immense human suffering endured by this community 10 years ago, the very businesses that create these spaces have suffered, a struggle made only worse by the years of the pandemic.

There are countless ways to mark a day like this, and as long as there is respect in your heart, your way is valid. Many touching events are happening across the city. Many people I know are choosing to stay indoors, quietly absorbing the turmoil this occasion brings up. All are acts of remembrance.

Personally, my heart is heavy, but I will be going out to a concert tonight. For me, in this moment, it feels like a necessary act of support for Paris and for the cultural ecosystem that breathes so much life into this city.

Sending strength to all of you, wherever you are, who feel the weight of this day.

— Robert

1 month ago | [YT] | 1

Robert Kos Therapy Paris

Hello everyone,

In this video, I’m eating my words.

In a previous video on self-celebration, I made a mistake. I said that we all know the obvious ways to treat ourselves — buy a present, book a massage, and so on. I now realize that for many of us, it is not at all obvious or simple to know how to celebrate ourselves in a way that feels authentic and meaningful.

So in my new video, I’m correcting the record. I'm moving beyond the clichés to offer a deeper framework for self-celebration. We'll explore how to discover your own unique "language of appreciation" and develop small, daily rituals that genuinely nourish you, without costing a lot of money or feeling like a performance.

You can watch the full, updated perspective here:
https://youtu.be/5U0uLF6Zt5g

What is one small thing you can celebrate yourself for today? It doesn't have to be a big achievement; effort is enough. I would love to read your answers in the comments.

Robert

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

Robert Kos Therapy Paris

Hello everyone,

I want to talk about a word that many of us use, but that can also be uncomfortable, complicated, and sometimes deeply offensive: "expat."

It's a word that can feel loaded with a history of colonialism and privilege, and those criticisms are often valid.

So why, as a therapist working with people who live abroad, do I continue to use it?

In my new video, I explore this exact question. I share my own personal history with the word from my time in Singapore and contrast it with its very different meaning here in Paris. It's a deep dive into the "expat bubble" and the modern "gilded cage" of cultural exhaustion that many of us find ourselves in.

You can watch the full, nuanced discussion here:
https://youtu.be/ZKiKDtJzcwA

What is your own relationship with this word? Expat, immigrant, foreigner... what label feels right to you, and why?

I'd love to create a thoughtful conversation about this in the comments.

Robert

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

Robert Kos Therapy Paris

Hello everyone,

On the eve of what I believe the French refer to as "All Saints' Eve's Eve," let's talk about something I used to hate: scary movies.

For most of my life, the tension, jump scares, and menace of horror were too much for a nervous system shaped by a difficult childhood. It felt like reliving trauma, not watching a film. But last year, something changed. I revisited the genre and discovered something powerful.

In my new video, I share my personal journey from horror-hater to horror-lover and explore a paradoxical idea: that a genre built on fear, trauma, and violence can be a profound, and even healing, tool for those of us who have had difficult experiences.

You can watch the full story (and get some of my top horror recommendations) here:
https://youtu.be/OX3Id2fIUPw

What is your own relationship with horror? Love it, hate it, or complicated?

I'd love to read your thoughts in the comments.

Boo.

Robert

1 month ago | [YT] | 0