Confident Parents, Capable Kids by ADHD Dude

When you give so much to your child and do so much for them yet they are consistently uncooperative, inflexible, and inconsiderate of others in the family; this can be exhausting and make you feel like you're somehow failing them. Particularly when you hear these behaviors are not exhibited outside the home.


We see this pattern constantly in families of kids with ADHD. It has a name: 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴/𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀.


This is what it looks like: a child who receives plenty of privileges and has little to no expectations for behavior, cooperation, helping around the house, or respect for family members.


High giving/low expectations doesn't help your child learn to think about the needs of family members or learn how capable they are; rather, it keeps them stuck in immature and entitled behaviors.


Kids with ADHD need to feel useful. When nothing is required of them at home, what looks like entitlement or oppositional behavior is often a child who has never been given the chance to feel useful or discover what they're capable of.


High-giving/low expectations can also look like severe tyrannical behaviors such as property destruction, physical aggression, and revenge-based school refusal.


When parents learn to address this proactively by setting daily expectations for behavior and helping around the house, behavior at home improves. And more importantly, your child begins to learn what they're actually capable of.


𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 "𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘁𝘀" 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗗𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝟮𝗻𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗳 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗕𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. All courses in the ADHD Dude Parent Training programs come with downloadable cheat sheets (like the ones shown here) and resources to help you put the strategies into action.


Start your Parent Training today: adhddude.com
Capable & Confident | Ages 4–7
Scaffolding Better Behavior | Ages 8 and up
Creating Daily Expectations courses

Skip the Carousel

1 2

1 day ago (edited) | [YT] | 8

Confident Parents, Capable Kids by ADHD Dude

2 days ago | [YT] | 13

Confident Parents, Capable Kids by ADHD Dude

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 24

Confident Parents, Capable Kids by ADHD Dude

Teaching your child to manage how they express emotions is not masking. But parenting social media has convinced many parents that it is, and that belief is quietly setting kids up for a very lonely life.

The word "masking" has been stretched so far online that it is now thrown at anything that looks like self-control. Teaching your child not to scream when frustrated? Masking. Teaching them to show interest in a friend's story even when they are not that interested? Masking. Teaching them to hold it together in public? Masking.

That is not neurodiverse affirming. That is a guarantee of future isolation, failed relationships, and difficulty sustaining employment.

A child who grows up believing their diagnosis entitles them to express themselves however they want, whenever they want, is not being protected. They are being left unprepared for every friendship, classroom, and relationship waiting for them. The world will not adjust. The friendships will not last. The loneliness will be real.

Teaching your child to consider other people's feelings, to be a good friend, and to get along with people they may not particularly like is not asking them to hide who they are. It is preparing them for future success.

Helping your child learn how to build and sustain friendships is what the Socially Smarter course was built for. It is part of the ADHD Dude Parent Training. Learn more about Socially Smarter: www.adhddude.com/socially-smarter-preview/

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 22

Confident Parents, Capable Kids by ADHD Dude

𝗠𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲:
Watching your son shut down during a family visit and not knowing whether to push or back off is one of the hardest places to be as a parent.

Here's what's actually going on: screens give immediate relief from discomfort. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. When the phone becomes the primary coping strategy, he never gets the practice needed to build real emotional skills. The world doesn't get easier. His ability to handle it just stops growing.

ADHD executive functioning typically develops 2 to 3 years behind that of same-age peers. An 18-year-old with ADHD often still needs the structure you'd set for a younger teen. Living at home means your household's expectations still matter a lot.

If nothing changes, he stays stuck. Needing a screen to get through a family visit. Unable to move through a basic routine without a standoff. 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲, 𝗵𝗲'𝗹𝗹 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗵𝗲'𝗹𝗹 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲.
Start with Scaffolding Better Behavior, then move on to Creating Daily Expectations for Ages 12-18. Both are included in our Parent Training program.

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗲𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀. 𝗛𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲.

𝗦𝗲𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱'𝘀 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲: www.adhddude.com

Skip the Carousel

1 2

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 29

Confident Parents, Capable Kids by ADHD Dude

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 16

Confident Parents, Capable Kids by ADHD Dude

You shouldn’t have to repeat yourself, nag, or threaten to take something away just to get your child to do something simple.
And you won’t, when you have a clear plan to improve cooperation, behavior, and emotional regulation.

But when your child struggles with cooperation, is oppositional, constantly pushes back, argues, yells, and seems unmotivated by anything that doesn’t interest them, those patterns don’t change just because you try harder, explain it differently, or add more consequences.

This is not a reflection of your child’s ability.
It’s a reflection of not having a clear, step-by-step plan to help them develop the skills needed to improve cooperation, behavior, and emotional regulation.

And those are skills you need a clear process for helping your child build.

That’s why evidence-informed Parent Training, not therapy, is the recommended first-line treatment for children with ADHD.

The courses shown here are organized by your child’s age, so you can follow a clear path for helping your child build the skills they are capable of building.

Inside the ADHD Dude Membership, all of the courses you see listed for your child’s age are included, along with the opportunity to attend office hours twice each month to have your questions answered in real time.

Start today to see more cooperation, less conflict, and a calmer home where your child recognizes how capable they are. Start today at ADHD dude.com

Skip the Carousel

1 2 3

2 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 13

Confident Parents, Capable Kids by ADHD Dude

Thank you to everyone who has recommended this approach to other families. I am incredibly grateful for your support.🙏

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 16

Confident Parents, Capable Kids by ADHD Dude

If you are parenting a child with ADHD and feel like you have tried everything you have been told to try and nothing is sticking, you are not short on effort. What is hard to find is advice that is practical, evidence-informed, and grounded in what actually changes behavior at home.


That gap is what keeps so many parents stuck. And it is what other parents in groups like this one are trying to help each other navigate when they point each other toward something that actually worked for their family.


To every parent who has ever shared ADHD Dude with another family who needed it, thank you. That means more than I can say.


When you have the right tools, you are not just managing behavior. You are helping your child build real skills and discover what they are actually capable of. That is what the ADHD Dude Parent Behavior Training programs are built to help you do.


The membership includes access to all programs, a sequence to follow based on your child's age, and twice-monthly live Office Hours where you can bring your specific questions and get them answered directly.


For anyone who has ever taken the time to recommend this method to another family, please know how much I appreciate your support today and every day.

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 19

Confident Parents, Capable Kids by ADHD Dude

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲, 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝘂𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿.

𝗠𝘆 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲:

Many parents in this situation feel exactly the way you do. You love your child and understand his struggles, but behaviors like shouting, cursing, aggression, or damaging property still have to be addressed.

Many parents also feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells, trying to prevent the next outburst.

In the research, patterns like this are sometimes referred to as 𝘀𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝘆𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿𝘀. This describes situations where a child uses coercion, intimidation, verbal aggression, or property destruction to gain control over situations or escape expectations. Over time, families often begin organizing their lives around trying to prevent the child’s escalations.

It may also help to know that talk therapy, including CBT, is not considered an evidence-based treatment for younger children with ADHD. Research shows CBT can help older teens and adults with ADHD who are motivated to participate, but it has not been shown to be effective for younger children.

Talk therapy is also often counterintuitive to how many boys communicate. Sitting in an office and being asked to label feelings or answer “why” questions can feel uncomfortable or patronizing to many boys. Boys often talk more naturally during activities and without direct eye contact.

The evidence-based approach for children with ADHD is Parent Behavior Training, not therapy. Instead of asking the child to change, parents learn how to change their responses to the child’s behavior.

Parents learn how to reduce accommodation, set clear daily expectations, and require children to earn privileges like video games or other preferred activities. As parents stop reinforcing coercive behavior patterns, these behaviors often decrease and can stop altogether.

When severe behaviors are being used to control the home, the solution is not more talking. It is changing the parents’ responses. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗕𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺𝘀 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽-𝗯𝘆-𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀, 𝗯𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱'𝘀 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗴𝗲.

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 27