Chels ♡

I never said you weren’t worth it.
I never said you weren’t worth the
conversations,
the laughs,
the calls,
the texts,
the late night tests
that turned into early morning.

I never said you weren’t worth
the waiting,
the wondering,
the overthinking,
or the way my chest got heavy
every time your name lit up my phone.

You were worth every second
I gave without thinking twice.

What hurt
was feeling like maybe
I wasn’t worth the same to you.

And that’s the part people don’t talk about —
how love can exist so softly
while disappointment sits besides it,
quietly and unbearable.

Because I would’ve stayed
through every conversation,
every bad day,
every silence.

I just needed to know
you would’ve stayed too.

5 hours ago | [YT] | 4

Chels ♡

Be careful who you vent to,
Vents can lead to other rooms.

2 days ago | [YT] | 4

Chels ♡

Sorry for the bad writing and it being blurry, I hope you can still read it tho!!
Don’t forget to pray before you go to bed tonight my loves ❤️✝️

3 days ago | [YT] | 5

Chels ♡

Just because you lost me as a friend, doesn’t mean you gained me as an enemy,
I still want you to bloom, just not in the garden I built.

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 6

Chels ♡

I know who is walking in the house by the sound of their footsteps.
I promise you I notice everything.

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 5

Chels ♡

Another poem I made called “ In Between Everything I Don’t Say “


I feel everything
too much, too fast, too deep—
like my heart never learned
how to hold things gently.

It’s always gripping
clutching onto moments,
replaying words
I wish I said better
or softer
or not at all.

I overthink in silence,
build entire storms in my head
from a single sentence,
a tone shift,
a pause that lasted
just a second too long.

And I wonder—
did I do something?
did I change?
am I too much again?

Because I care.
God, I care so much
it almost feels like a flaw.

I love in quiet ways
no one really notices—
in the “did you eat?”
in the remembering little things,
in the way I stay
even when I’m scared to.

Even when my mind
is screaming to run,
to leave before I’m left,
to detach before it hurts—

I stay.

And maybe that’s my problem
Or maybe
that’s the bravest thing about me.

Because I am scared.
Of losing people.
Of being too hard to love.
Of not being enough
or somehow being too much
at the same time.

It’s confusing,
feeling like a contradiction
in your own skin.

I want reassurance
but hate asking for it.
I want to be understood
without having to explain.
I want someone to look at me
and just know
that I am trying.

Because I am trying.
Even on the days
it doesn’t look like it.

Even when I get quiet,
or distant,
or my words come out wrong
and I regret them instantly.

That’s not me not caring—
that’s me feeling everything
all at once
and not knowing
where to put it.

And there’s this part of me—
small, but still there—
that hopes.

Hopes I won’t always feel
like I’m almost losing something.
Hopes I’ll find a kind of peace
that doesn’t come with doubt.
Hopes that one day
my mind will stop fighting me and just… rest.

But until then,
I’ll keep loving the way I do.
Deeply. Honestly. Messily.

I’ll keep being the person
who feels everything
like it matters—
because it does.

And maybe one day
I’ll realize
that being this way
was never something to fix.

It was just
me.

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 3

Chels ♡

A really long poem I made called “Things I Never Say”

I swallow words
like they’re too sharp to hold,
like if I let them out
they’ll cut someone -
or worse,
they’ll prove I was never worth hearing.

So I keep them.

Stack them neatly behind my ribs,
file them under later,
under don’t ruin the moment,
under no one asked.

And somehow
later never comes.

Instead,
they grow.

They press against my chest
until breathing feels like apologizing,
until silence feels safer
than being seen wrong.

But silence isn’t quiet.

Not really.

Because my mind -
it doesn’t stop.

It hums,
buzzes,
spills over itself
with thoughts I never asked for.

Loud in the middle of the night,
louder when everything else
finally goes still.

I lay there
counting seconds instead of sleeping,
trying to outrun my own head
and never quite catching it.

There’s always something -

a voice,
a memory,
a what-if,
that won’t let go.

And I can’t find
a single moment
that isn’t filled with noise.

Even in quiet,
I am not at rest.

Sometimes
I don’t even feel real in it.

Like I-m watching myself
from somewhere just outside my body,
like I’m here -
but not fully.

Like I’m moving, speaking, breathing,
but none of it quite belongs to me.

And I hate that feeling.

I hate how far away I can drift
without ever leaving the room.

So I say nothing.

Because what if I say it
and it’s too much?

What if I say it
and it’s not enough?

What if everything I am
lands in someone’s hands
and they look at it
like it’s nothing special?

So I shrink.

Make myself quieter,
smaller,
easier to keep.

I laugh when I should speak,
nod when I should break,
say “I’m fine”
like it’s a script I memorized too well.

But inside —

Inside it’s loud.

It’s every “you’re too much”
echoing into
“you’re not enough”
every silence turning into proof
that maybe I’m just…
extra weight in someone else’s life.

A space that could be empty
and nothing would change.

And I hate that I think like that.
I hate how believable it sounds
when my mind says
You don’t matter like you think you do.

So I keep quiet again.

Because if I never say it,
no one can confirm it.

Right?

But the truth is —
holding everything in
doesn’t make me less of a burden.

It just makes me
carry it alone.

1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 4

Chels ♡

This is another one of my longer messages.

I can’t repost on my messed up account but ‪@Bells.P0D‬ posted this a bit ago and I wanted to post abt it too ig.
Bells said : “Always always always check up on everyone, remember you don't know
what someone's thinking or feeling whether they seem happy or not.
Just always care and love everyone. Have a good mid winter break! “
I’m adding : Y’all please check on those around you, whether it’s family or friends or a loved one or even someone random. There are people who are struggling with their own silent battles and a simple question of “are you okay” can make such a bigger difference then you know. Everyone is struggling in their own ways, some worse then others, some are on the edge while others are able to let it not effect them. If you or someone you know is struggling then please reach out and get help, there are people who want to help and want to make sure you’re okay. You deserve a place on this earth, God out you here for a reason and he has a plan for you. Just because someone looks so happy and smile and like they are on top of the world, doesn’t always mean they aren’t struggling, some people are dealing with silent battles that they just don’t know how to ask for help with. Please try to ask at least one person today if they are okay. Please listen to them and let them talk for hours if that’s what helps them, let them cry, be the safe and comfortable place they can rest while their head or heart is loud.
Ily, God loves you, people around you love you. Stay safe. Stay strong. I promise you’re loved hun. Good things are coming your way.

1 month ago | [YT] | 4

Chels ♡

Rich in life because I’ve never talked about an ex like they were better than the person I’m with.
#directed #clocked

2 months ago | [YT] | 5

Chels ♡

“ it’s okay to cry when there’s too much on your mind -
The clouds rain too when things get heavy. “
- Amina Mehmood

2 months ago | [YT] | 4