Olivia Hops

Hey everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and Holiday Season! I just had to hop on here because I just finished watching Lucifer on Netflix and it left me emotionally destroyed! 😅 I started watching it a couple months ago and it quickly became a special interest. I absolutely loved it and thought it was hilarious. I just finished the series last night, and I literally cried through the last two episodes, and I NEVER cry during movies/shows. I then continued to cry for an hour afterwards, and today has been rough 🤣 Has anyone else watched this incredible show?! I need someone to talk about it with!

11 months ago | [YT] | 41

Olivia Hops

Hey everyone, today sucked. Worst day I’ve had in a very long time, so I can’t really complain. I had my first unhappy bride today. She hated her dress, and it was my fault. She wanted changes to the sample dress she tried on, and I overpromised her. It was on accident and shows my naivety in the business and that I’m still learning. This was a rough learning experience, and in the process, I ruined a bride’s dress. Her wedding is in only two weeks, so I basically screwed up everything for her. I feel absolutely awful. I can’t even describe. The knot that has been in my stomach for the past 24 hours has been insane. I want to curl up and sleep forever to make this pain go away. Alas, I have 8 appointments coming up this weekend starting tomorrow bright and early at 9:00am. So, I have about 12 more hours to wallow in my self pity. If you can say a prayer for the bride to be able to find a dress, I would appreciate it. Thank you 🙏🏻 Also, my sister moved out so I should have more time to film now. I think I’ll do a video about this experience and how I managed to handle it with my autism in mind. Does that interest anyone? Thanks for listening, as always. 🩵

1 year ago | [YT] | 255

Olivia Hops

I had alone time today and filmed the meds video! 🎉 I just need to edit it. I’ll probably have time early next week. Its super long, but hopefully interesting!

1 year ago | [YT] | 98

Olivia Hops

Hey everyone, have any of you heard of the term “family scapegoat”? It was brought to my attention today by a fellow autistic friend and it was very interesting to read about. I obviously have lots more research to do, but if you don’t know what it is, it’s what it sounds like basically, you’re the scapegoat for your family’s disfunction and are unjustly blamed for everything wrong in your family. Has anyone experienced this? As the disfunction in my family grows and grows, I’m thinking of doing a video about how it could correlate to the autistic family member being the easy scapegoat because the rest of the family members don’t care to understand us as autistics, so they blame everything on our disabilities. Let me know your thoughts, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you!

1 year ago | [YT] | 46

Olivia Hops

I'm excited to announce I have been asked to be a panelist at the Autism Breakthrough Summit this Friday from 12:15-1:15EST! This event was generously sponsored so anyone can register to attend virtually at bit.ly/autismsummit2024 - Hope to see you then!

1 year ago | [YT] | 71

Olivia Hops

Hey everyone, I hope you are all doing great. I have so much to catch you up on, but have been struggling to catch up on life myself. I know you are all always so patient with me and I appreciate endlessly.

I am unfortunately at my wit’s end with my family and my current living situation with them. Alex and I are going to start looking at places to move, and I would love suggestions. I have only ever lived in SoCal, but it’s obviously not affordable and we need to move elsewhere. I am not well traveled in my own country, so any suggestions of great and affordable places to live would be amazing.

Thank you all in advance! 🙏🏻🩵

1 year ago | [YT] | 95

Olivia Hops

Hey everyone! I’m alive! 😅 I hope you all are well. So much has gone on these past few months which I plan on sharing in a video (if you want?), but I wanted to first share my new adventure that I’m really excited about. I opened a bridal shop! It’s called Bliss & Bridal and specializes in affordable and customizable wedding dresses with quick turnaround times. While shopping for my own dress, I realized there was a need for affordable, quality dresses that you could customize to your liking and that wouldn’t take 6-9 months to arrive. I also just fell in love with the dress dry-on experience. It become a new special interest for sure, and Bliss & Bridal was born! This is going to be a test of my communication/people skills, but I think it will be a good challenge. I have my first appointment on Saturday. Wish me luck and talk soon! 🩵

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1 year ago | [YT] | 181

Olivia Hops

Alex and I are finally back in The States after spending two months in Italy (with a two week honeymoon to Abu Dhabi in the middle). Even though the beginning of our trip was stressful with losing Willow, trying to get our new apartment furnished, doing last minute wedding things, and the family drama, our wedding day was absolutely magical and as close to perfect as it could have gotten! I’m grumpy to be back in the US and I’m trying to adjust back to crazy American life, so I will film a video as soon as I can mentally. Any topic suggestions? 🤔 Thank you guys for being patient while I took this awesome step in my life. I hope you guys have all been well and are enjoying your Fall Season! 🎃

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2 years ago | [YT] | 380

Olivia Hops

Alex and I lost our sweet Willow yesterday. We are absolutely devastated. The past two weeks have been so rough, with yesterday topping off such a sad streak of days. We rescued the little princess in April 2021 and she has been our biggest joy ever since. We found out she had congestive heart failed in November of last year. The vet gave her 3-12 months when he diagnosed her and put her on three different medications, and she lasted 9. She was almost 10, which is very old for a Shar Pei. She hadn’t really shown any signs of decline despite having such a bad heart. She still was her usual happy funny self! But yesterday when Alex went to take her outside in the morning, she collapsed and began screaming. We assume she had a massive heart attack. By the time she was done screaming, she was gone. Not breathing, no heartbeat, and her eyes were glazed over. I tried to give her CPR the best I could and after maybe 20 seconds she came back. We immediately rushed her to the vet where she coded on them, but then came back again (she was the most stubborn dog!) to let us say our goodbyes. We decided to put her down before she could suffer anymore pain. In her final moments, she crawled into my lap, wagged her tail, and gave Alex one last boop on his nose. She was Alex’s everything, so he is absolutely crushed. On top of it all, this all happened on his birthday of all days… We are so sad, especially since we leave for Italy on Sunday to go get married. But we are thankful this happened now and not when we were gone and couldn’t be with her in her final moments on this earth. If you could please keep us, especially Alex, in your prayers, that would mean so much to us. I had planned on filming a video yesterday for one last post until I got back from Italy and our honeymoon, but I just can’t get it done. I’m sorry guys. On top of being sad myself (and packing/getting ready to leave), I’m trying to comfort Alex which is not something I’m good at as an Autistic person, so I’m extra exhausted. Thanks so much for understanding 🩵

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2 years ago | [YT] | 406

Olivia Hops

Hey guys, I hope you all have been great. The past six or so days for me have been really awful for many reasons, and I'm coming on here to vent again because the last time I did that, I felt so much better afterwards. So, I'm hoping for the same result this time! Again, you do not have to read or respond to this. I just need to get it out.

Starting this past Friday, each day something bad has happened and I swear each day one-ups the previous day in badness. I had a big meltdown on Friday that started it off. Saturday we found our pet bunny paralyzed in her cage. Sunday we got a call that my nana had fallen and broken her pelvis in multiple places and was in the ER. Monday we took our bunny to the vet and they told us we will have to put her down. But yesterday, Tuesday, just really topped it all off. And it is because there has been new issues with the X situation (which is what I was talking about the last time I vented on here).

Since the blowup with Y about X early this year, I really hadn't thought about X much at all. It was truly great! There had been one bump in the road about the situation that happened a couple months ago which got me thinking about it again (which was when I found out X had made fun of me and Alex for deciding to get married at the courthouse, including thinking the ceremony was "weird"), but I quickly got it out of my head again thankfully. But then yesterday just drudged it all up again.

I received a text message yesterday afternoon from the girlfriend of one of my favorite uncles that they would no longer be coming to my wedding because of X's wedding. This REALLY upset me because one, I was so excited they had decided to come to mine, and two, because my uncle didn't even have the decency to tell me this himself. He had his girlfriend do it who I've met all of three times.

This is now the fourth family member (including Y) who has decided to go to X's wedding instead of mine in the past couple of months, which, as I mentioned in my last venting post, was my biggest fear when X decided to put her wedding 19 days before mine.

As I also mentioned before, I don't have a lot of friends or close family members because I'm terrible at relationships, but the people that I am close with are extremely, extremely special and important to me. For them to not come to my wedding for any reason would bum me out tremendously, but for this specific reason just truly hurts me to my core. And I'm not upset at them of course, I'm just upset about the situation.

Then, as if I couldn't feel any worse, I find out yesterday evening that my sister is GOING TO X'S WEDDING. My mom told me that X apparently talked her into it two weeks ago out of the blue.

Now, as you may know, I do not have a good relationship with my sister. I've been a terrible sister. So, I can't really blame her for wanting to go to X's wedding and not caring if it upset me. Even though I understand this, it didn't make it hurt any less.

Even though my sister and I have had a rough relationship our whole lives, I have never faltered in standing up for her. Whether it was me telling her abusive boyfriend he's a piece of sh*t or defending her multiple times when her friends and roommates were being mean to her, I have and always will defend her. I'm not saying this to say that since I defend her I expect the same in return and like she "owes" me the same thing. Her brain doesn't work like mine, obviously. She's not autistic. But my brain still has a hard time understanding how her brain works and why she doesn't feel the need to stand up for me. Because trust me, if the roles were reversed, I would NEVER, EVER even consider going to X's wedding.

To my brain, it feels like she's picking "sides" even though I rationally know that's not what she's doing. But again, it doesn't make it hurt any less. I feel betrayed that she would even consider going, let alone actually going. To me, going is just unacceptable. I know that's selfish of me to think, but it's just how I feel in this moment. I'm just having a really hard time understanding that her brain doesn't work the same as mine and thus doesn't feel the same way I would.

In the heat of finding this out last night, I immediately told my mother that if she goes to X's wedding that she will no longer be in mine as a bridesmaid. Again, I know rationally that is extremely selfish and ridiculous and childish and terrible, but I just feel so betrayed.

I also know rationally that I shouldn't care about any of this. That it doesn't matter. That all that matters is me and Alex and our love and the amazing time we'll have at our wedding. There are so many special people in my life making the long trip to come to my wedding which I am so tremendously grateful for. I feel awful that I keep focusing on the ones that aren't coming because of X instead of just being excited about the ones that are coming. I'm trying to shift my focus to that: that there are 40+ people flying half way across the entire world just to come to my wedding! How amazing! And I truly am so excited and honored that they are coming. Yet, my stupid brain still wishes that there were more of my few close family members coming that are not because of X...

Anyways, I'm sorry for venting about this situation yet again, but I'm really hoping getting it out makes me feel better like it did the last time.

2 years ago | [YT] | 155