Nami.𖹭

🤌

2 days ago | [YT] | 2

Nami.𖹭

Just me 🫶

3 days ago | [YT] | 3

Nami.𖹭

I know people think they’re the only ones struggling.
I know you feel alone in this.
But please know… I’m struggling too.

I’m trying to turn back to Allah — again and again.
Sometimes suddenly my heart wakes up.
I feel the pull.
I want to pray.
I want to be close.
I want peace that doesn’t take me away from my Lord.

And then… after some time…
I fall far again.

No salah.
No focus.
Just guilt sitting heavy in my chest.

People don’t talk about this part.
The part where you want Allah,
but your life, your mind, your environment
make it feel impossible.

I don’t sleep easily.
Never really did.
Since childhood my mind never learned how to rest.
At night, everything comes at once —
thoughts, fear, emptiness, overthinking.
My body is tired, but my soul stays awake.

And waking up for Fajr…
people say “just wake up”
but they don’t know how hard it is
when your nights are already a battle.

When I do pray, I don’t feel warmth.
I don’t feel peace.
My heart feels absent.
And that hurts — because I want to feel it.

Sometimes I feel like I’m too far from Allah.
Sometimes I feel ashamed.
Sometimes I look at myself and think,
“Why am I like this?”

And my home…
there is no privacy.
No space to breathe.
Even salah feels heavy there.
Not because I don’t want to pray —
but because peace doesn’t live there.

Being blamed.
Feeling watched.
Feeling small.
All of it pushes me further down
without anyone even touching me.

Still…
even with all this —
I don’t want a happiness
that takes me away from my Lord.

I don’t want a peace
that makes me forget Allah.

I want the kind of happiness
that brings me closer to Him.
Even if it’s quiet.
Even if it’s slow.
Even if it comes with struggle.

If you’re reading this and you feel the same —
going back and forth,
trying and failing,
praying sometimes and disappearing sometimes —

please know this:

You’re not fake.
You’re not weak.
You’re not abandoned.

Turning back again and again
is not hypocrisy.
Giving up would be.

If your heart aches over distance from Allah,
that means it’s still alive.

Even if all you can say right now is
“Ya Allah, don’t let me go”
— that still counts.

I see you.
I understand you.
And I’m walking this path too.

May Allah be gentle with us
in the places where life was not.
Ameen..🤍💌🌸🌕✨


– Moon

4 days ago | [YT] | 5

Nami.𖹭

Me time🌑✨

4 days ago | [YT] | 16

Nami.𖹭

Tap ↓

5 days ago | [YT] | 5

Nami.𖹭

.

5 days ago | [YT] | 11

Nami.𖹭

studio.youtube.com/channel/UC... ‪@thevaleriaaa‬​​

Waiting ✨

1 week ago (edited) | [YT] | 5

Nami.𖹭

🍁🫶✨

1 week ago | [YT] | 8

Nami.𖹭

POV :- Me waiting for ‪@HmmTahir‬'s upcoming post

1 week ago | [YT] | 4

Nami.𖹭

:)

1 week ago | [YT] | 20