GlitterForeverASMR

I'm so relieved I finished filming Jeffrey's memorial video (my dog). It was not easy but It was the closure I needed. I'm gonna post it soon. Maybe even today, It's gonna be really long answering a lot of your questions and lots of tears, thank yous and showing jeff's remains. Thank you again for all of your love and support, I don't know what I'd do without you.

7 minutes ago | [YT] | 9

GlitterForeverASMR

Memorial video coming soon ❤️🐾

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2 days ago | [YT] | 720

GlitterForeverASMR

Mr. Jeffrey’s ashes and other memorial items I ordered, are now ready for pickup. I got the call last night letting me know and I’ll go pick them up Saturday at the emergency vet where he died. I don’t know how I’m going to react but I’ll be making a TikTok documenting it. At this point, I’m at peace with it. Last night, Jeffrey came to me in a dream to comfort me. He knew it shook me a bit knowing I have to pick up his ashes this week. I feel like each night he sends me healing energy and it’s working. I’m getting better a lot faster than I thought and picking up his ashes is going to be closure for me. I will be making a video for you here, showing his urn and all of the other things. Remember, it’s NOT going to be in ASMR. I want to give him a proper memorial video for my own personal closure. Thank you so much for your support during this dark time in my life. Your comments, stories and prayers have played an immense part in my daily healing. ❤️‍🩹 Stay tuned for that video, I’ll keep you posted ❤️🐾👼🏻

3 days ago | [YT] | 732

GlitterForeverASMR

I feel him in my dreams every night now. It’s like he’s trying to heal my shattered heart. It’s very comforting and I’m doing better. No anxiety today for the first time in weeks. Thank you baby for healing mommy. I just really miss this precious view of looking down at his sweet face, feeling his heavy weight on my lap and smelling his frito aroma 🥲👼🏻🐾 if only I could kiss those sweet little lips while he quickly turns away trying to dodge mommy’s kisses 😂🙈 I’m waiting to get his ashes so I can make a video for you all. I just don’t feel right making a video right now until I complete his memorial. I hope you understand. Thank you for your love, support and stories of loss. We will get through this together ❤️

6 days ago | [YT] | 678

GlitterForeverASMR

Our last night together I took a photo of you. Never realizing it would be the last time I held onto your little foot so I could fall asleep, the last time I felt you kick me in the back, the last time I would hear you breathing/snoring next to me. 2 days later you were gone. I love you and miss you more than life itself 💔😔

1 week ago | [YT] | 792

GlitterForeverASMR

1 week since you've been gone 💔

1 week ago | [YT] | 894

GlitterForeverASMR

I deleted the post about the negligent “animal clinic” that ignored Jeff’s symptoms. I’m not in a place to deal with that right now. And this definitely is not the place. I need to heal first but you can bet, I will be revisiting this in the future. Thank you so much for your love and support. 😭💔🐾 I’m sorry, this is all very overwhelming.

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1 week ago | [YT] | 763

GlitterForeverASMR

Today they will take my pug dog Jeffrey's little body to the crematory to turn him into glitter. I will get his new form back in a few weeks. Thank you so much for the encouraging words and love. I'm going to get through this but it's the first time I've ever had a dog cremated and given back to me. I'm probably going to break down, but I need to get this grief out of my system. I miss my little cuddle bug so much. I miss his smell, his weight in my lap, his snorts, his beautiful face, his shrieking bark lol. But I have NO REGRETS. I always savored every moment, because I knew this day would eventually come. Lord give me strength during this horrendous time in my life. Thank you again and please keep me in your prayers. -Breland & Jeffrey xo

1 week ago | [YT] | 1,264

GlitterForeverASMR

Update March 3rd (2 days after my dog Jeffrey passed away) I'm so very grateful to have you here and for your inspiring and uplifting words. You have no idea how much it means to me during this dark time. I'm still in immense pain but I feel my baby in my dreams. I know he wouldn't want me to wither away and die, so I'm doing my best to find strength each second, hour and min of these long slow burn days. I'm trying to take care of myself, drink water and eat as much as I can. I'm starting to get my appetite back little by little. My anxiety is a bit lower today and I'm starting to see a little light at the end of this dark tunnel. It still hurts to see his photos, videos or personal items but a bit less each day I get used to this new reality. My mom is also grieving his loss as much as I am. They were very close and he loved her so much. My husband Slava is grieving the best he possibly can. He's throwing himself into his work and trying to occupy himself with funny videos and smoking weed when he gets home at night. If I'm not completely exhausted by the time he gets home, I try to talk to him. I'm 2 hours ahead so, I go to bed earlier in his time zone. Grief is so exhausting, I notice I could drink coffee all day and still fall asleep at 10pm. Even tho I dread laying down and sleeping for some reason. I don't like nights, probably because of that night time phone call. It was very traumatic. Thank you again for reading and listening to me. I'm going to power through each day because I know Jeffrey would want me to. He was stubborn, bratty and always got his way lol. Therefore, mommy has to get through this for him. Love, Breland 🩷

1 week ago | [YT] | 658

GlitterForeverASMR

Update March 2: I have shorts scheduled for the month and a PMU compilation scheduled for Tuesday but as you know, I lost my soul dog Jeffrey, yesterday and have been grieving pretty hard in the past day. Check my tiktok to see video updates @ brelandemory Thank you so much for all the love and support, it's hard for me to look at his photos or even read your comments without breaking down. My anxiety is at an all time high due to these events and I'm just trying to keep it together. I'm having to increase my medication and focus on something else. As some of you know, I have an anxiety and panic disorder which I take Zoloft for, but the anxiety is so bad, the meds are failing. It can be crippling at times but I will get through it.

Just know, your words, thoughts and prayers give me strength. Writing this right now is making my stomach churn. I just need some time to adjust to this new reality and routine that does not include Jeffrey. I love him so much and I always will but while I'm on this side of the veil, I need to do whats best for my sanity. I'm trying to move forward and not spend too much time obsessing over this loss, otherwise, I would never progress.

I'm not looking forward to Wednesday, which is when they will fetch his little body from the clinic to be taken to the crematory. I will receive his ashes, lock of his hair, digital paw prints and clay paw prints in 2 weeks. That day of receiving him in this new physical form is going to be hard. Soon after he passed on March 1st, They asked me if I wanted to come sit with his dead body and I refused. There is no way I'm going to inflict that trauma onto myself, especially since that is no longer him in there. He is a beautiful angel running through heaven and most likely biting at Jesus' robe right now lol...he definitely would. Jesus is having to readjust everything having that bad boy bound his way through the pearly gates! 😂

Like I said in a previous post, I'm going to take a break but try to get back into the swing of things sooner than later. I've always dealt with grief so much better by focusing on work during the day with some reflection at night. It's important to create my new routine and reality ASAP for my own mental health. I will be making a video about this after I receive his ashes and memorial mementos. It won't be in ASMR because it's not about that, it's about sharing this tribute with all of you who loved him. It will include a story about his last days, that fateful phone call at 3am and of course, his most hilarious moments to end on a high note. Thank you to everyone who loved him as much as I did. I feel him with me and I know he would give you all lots of kisses if he could.

I love you and thank you,
-Breland and Jeffrey 🐾

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 636