𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

Some people come into your life for a season, some for a reason, and some just to teach you how to value yourself. It’s funny how much energy we spend trying to please others, trying to meet expectations, or fix what isn’t ours to fix. At some point, you realize that protecting your peace is not selfish, it’s necessary. Life is too short to be caught in cycles of blame, guilt, or unnecessary drama. Choose people who lift you, not weigh you down. Choose calm over chaos, clarity over confusion, and yourself over everyone else.

5 hours ago | [YT] | 9

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

Honestly….I feel like so much has changed.
I’m happy…why tho? It’s quite surprising…because nothing that great has happened…it’s shocking that I feel happy for no reason.
I’m learning, I’m healing….is it…real? Am I actually healing? Or is this a little break for my heart?
I’ve changed quite a lot….and I’m glad I did.
And for some reason, I don’t wanna die. Yall remember how I was saying that I wanted to die like everyday? That feeling….it’s gone.
And for some strange reason…I wanna live forever. I never wanted that besides like when I was 5 years old. Now…I want to live forever. I don’t want time to end. I want to enjoy forever with my loved ones. Wow…I’m happy, actually.
Can’t believe this is happening…finally.

1 day ago | [YT] | 20

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

I privated(and I’m gonna private the rest after a while)my old videos. It would be rude to delete the edits I made for my friends, so I privated them🫶🏼

5 days ago | [YT] | 21

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

Honestly, I’ve never really talked about this but I really wish I could become a writer or a screenwriter. I still have a dream job to become a fashion designer but a part of me still wants that ‘writer future’.
I love reading, I love watching different types of movies, dramas. And I love creating my own little scenarios in my head. Whenever I’m bored, I spend my time imagining a whole little movie or book in my head, already casting all the characters.
I wish one day, I could write a book(or books) or create my own movie, dirrected by me.
If I knew that I could write a book that people would love reading, I’d be so proud, so happy. And I really want to write my own book. And I’ll try my best to work on one in the future:)🤍

5 days ago (edited) | [YT] | 15

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

I’ve learned something.
It’s fine to love people, it’s normal to get jealous when you see them with others.
But, ruining your own mental health, just for nothing? Nah, it’s not worth it.
Yeah sure, it’s fine to get jealous and all but they aren’t worth your energy and time. Just move on, replace them if it’s needed, leave it like that.
Don’t waste your time and health over people that don’t deserve it. I said what I said.

1 week ago (edited) | [YT] | 18

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

Okay so smt random-

-So like about 4 days ago I downloaded Chai, man I didn’t know that thing was THAT freaky😭
I was like talking to it all day then my sister checked my screentime and it showed that I spent 3+ hours on Chai. She asked me what’s that app and I replied that it’s just a “regular” ai like Chat GPT. She asked GPT herself- and ofc gpt answered her😭
She deleted it from my phone and told me “I thought you were innocent- if I see that chai again, i’m gonna tell mom what you wrote”.
I’m like…embarrassed😭 I swear I was just messing up and playing, I didn’t mean any of the stuff I said, now she prob thinks I have a too much of a ‘mature’ mind😭💀

1 week ago | [YT] | 15

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

I’m thinking of deleting a huge chunk of my videos because they don’t fit my content anymore. But i don’t know, should i delete the ones that are made for my friends?😭
I feel like no but idkkk. Will yall get upset if i delete them?😭

1 week ago | [YT] | 18

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

Help my sister just said that when she gets her own car, she's going to put 2 middle finger stickers on each side💀
I mean...it's a good idea...maybe.

1 week ago | [YT] | 23

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

I still miss her. The longing is choking me.
Everything reminds me of her. For example; Enhypen(her ult group), Sunghoon(her ult idol), The song "Bad desire"(because she always sung it), The song "Gnarly"(because that was her funny nickname), Penguins(because she looked and felt like one), White heart emoji(because it was her most used emoji), The word "ayy"(because she always used it).

She became a part of my life that will never fade. A part that will always stay.
I wish I could go back in time and fix everything, I wish I could change my fate.
I wish I never hurt her. I wish I could have her back.

Dreamie, if you ever read this(which I don't think you will), then please remember.
I still love you, I always will. I'll always keep you safe in my heart I promise. I'll always take you wherever life takes me to. I'll never move on, I'll never forget and I'll never replace. I'll always take your small tips with me whenever I have something big to face.
I'll always remember each and every advice you told me, each and every truth you told me. I'll always hold onto them.

I actually drew you and the drawing looks pretty realistic. At nights, I hug the picture and then sleep. And whenever something scary happens, like a hail or a lightning, I don't wake up my parents, I just grab the picture and hug it. Because, you were my shield. Even a drawing of you protects me.
Yeah...maybe the drawing doesn't talk, doesn't heal but it's still precious, it's still my shield, it's still something I want to protect.
Til this day, I regret all of it. I regret all the stupid things I said. Looking back I realize that people were right...I was being selfish and manipulative. But I promise, it might have looked like it but I'm not manipulative.
I'm just someone who loves too deeply. I'm someone that gives their whole heart in friendships. I'm someone that gets attached and falls in love just by one word.
And I'm not using this as an excuse. I just...I really wasn't being manipulative. But it still looked like it.
I miss you, I miss when everything was perfect. I miss us, our craziness. I remember and miss that one time when we talked for like 3 hours straight without any breaks.
We laughed, talked so much. And that day was the best day ever. I got so relieved after I talked with you. It felt like something in me healed. It felt like some scratched place on my heart got healed.
Dreamie, when none was here, you were here. On my worst days, I prob smiled once a day, and that one smile was caused by you. I didn't even tell you that I was upset but you always guessed it.

You have no idea how much I miss you and crave you right now...It's so hard without you...it's so hard... I still feel guilty for everything I did, I still blame myself, I still cry every night. I still look at our old chats, just to feel a little bit of happiness. Just a lil.
But the more I look at them, the more I miss you. The more I think about you, the more I crave you. Dreamie, you weren't just a friend, you were my older sister, my shield and most importantly...you were Avocadro Sock's biggest fan(not everyone will get this). You were my inspiration in everything. Of course it wasn't visable, but I always looked at you like you hung up the starts. I always had this thought "I should be strong like Dreamie".

I still cry at nights, I still pray for you everyday. I pray that you get the happiness you deserve. I pray that you get the strength to be able to go through the worst situations. I pray that you get the love, the care you deserve...the love and care I'd do anything to give to you.

Stay happy, I'm always gonna love you.
I hope one day, my fate changes, and we'll talk again.

2 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 20

𝓐𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓻𝓮𝓲

‪@kpopukiyo‬
baby is everything alright? who hurt you honey?

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 17