Vospi

Hey guys. I feel like I owe you a write-up.

So, Vospi's inktober2025, which started, I thought, incredibly strong and left a ton of memories so far for me, has to be postponed indefinitely. I absolutely am going to finish it. I wanted to start 21st of November. But I can't.

My ear is almost 100%, I think (it's a long and complicated story, I have a puncture, we think), but...

6 days ago, while helping my neighbors, I broke a finger.
Can you believe this month :) Seriously.

It's not "bad" bad. It's a tip of my ring finger, right hand. But...
I really am not comfortable. I thought it's gonna be okay, maybe some problems with piano or something? But it's worse. Typing and using a mouse is pretty strenuous. Because of a fixator I have to wear, the bend wears on my wrist, and on other fingers. The hematoma isn't gone either, although it should've cleared up by now. I almost stopped using the mouse today; it's curious; you don't notice it, but this finger acts as leverage for the mouse, and moving it now isn't reliable. I'm even slower in my teaching while showing stuff; of course my students are very patient and gracious, but doing that and THEN doing a WHOLE TRACK for another 10 days in a row is completely out of the question.

Besides, I'm now so married to this idea! I love this chaotic, risky, stressful, adventurous month; love proving myself and then looking back at the crazy trip. What would I deliver if suddenly I couldn't play piano, bass, guitars, even use the mouse properly? You know?.. I don't want to disappoint myself and the listeners, too.

Honestly, I lack closure on this. I want to upload it, look at it and be happy, and move on.
And I will be! Just... not now. I'm sure of it. My music students come first. That's the only strain I can handle right now.

Thanks for all the kind words I've heard. A lot! I know you do feel for me like for any other friend. That's great. That's great that we are friends. This month, I got reminded that not everyone, you know... like people. And probably hates them in general. And I, for better or for worse, can "get it" in my head, but honestly, my heart just refuses to get it. Doesn't even start to process that. Like it's a separate fantastical inner universe where hatred is default.

So yes. I'm very happy to have friends and be a friend.

Sorry. In summary!

My ear is not "100%", but very close to it (I think).
Only one of my fingers is hurt, they say the fixator is for 3 weeks at least; it's not an index, so I can work, provide, I can even type this message, although it's a bit uncomfortable and I take painkillers at night. But!

It's all gonna be okay. I'm telling you. And myself.
Love you!

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3 weeks ago | [YT] | 25

Vospi

Ok. So, I have to postpone inktober.
I hope you're not disappointed. I intend to come back.

It's the ear.

Best case scenario: it is an outer layer deterioration of some kind. I've got a topical thing prescribed to resolve that. Got a procedure done. And if that's the case, it should pass in 4-5 days. Maybe light nerve damage because of the inktober stress (I 100% worked my ass off).
Worst case scenario: we don't know.
And it scares me pretty good.
A second, supposedly very good doctor, entirely skipped my appointment, keeping me in the lobby for an hour plus. Cool. My internal discomfort, frankly, seems more complex than a skin irritation; I react to cold and I feel heavy in my head on one side. However, it doesn't look like there's a clear reason why there would be something worse. So, again, best case: I'm scared but that's all, and it'll pass. Worst: who knows, cause nothing changed for the better yet. I still can't wear an earphone I need to wear and I think my left ear is "darker" in terms of sound for about a week plus.

So, I suspect there might be something else. But my overall experience with doctors who sit in offices is: you overpay and they overlook. I had to cancel music production lessons that I teach to go to that non-existing appointment in a "fancy" clinic. How am I supposed to trust anybody with the diagnosis when the clear reasoning was never laid out, and people just do that thing where they charge you for an opinion? Anyway. That's an endless rant for me, the state of knowledge about health and our treatment of it. Changed so much of how I look at things back in the day.

So.
I'm sorry.
Believe me, I'd like nothing more than to be done with inktober, cause the start was real strong. I'm still proud of all of it. But music consultations, teaching (and composing) is literally my job and a dream job, too. I can't risk it. I didn't use the ear for 2 days already, but nothing has changed yet.

When I learn something, you'll hear back from me, pun not intended. :) Thanks so much for the kind words, I hope they count for something on some balance up there, but so far, it's just on me to figure it out and not let it slide.

(At least I took the picture while I was waiting for the fucking appointment.)

Yours, Vospi

1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 21

Vospi

I have an ear problem of some kind.
Partial loss of hearing in the left ear, less high frequencies, uncomfortable pressure.

Great timing!.. Omg.

Wish me some cosmic luck with this one, will you?..

1 month ago | [YT] | 12

Vospi

So the joke is: I wrote a track about a deer who ran away. AND IT ALMOST RAN AWAY FROM ME
It was like some divine forces intervened to prevent me from "catching" it. However, I think it's... very nice. Check it out. (And now... back to work!)

2 months ago | [YT] | 8

Vospi

I explain what I'm doing, what is "inktober" and how's my head. :)
https://youtu.be/eEjkK_Mymc8

2 months ago | [YT] | 0

Vospi

It all starts today.
Last message before going out to outer space. Please listen.
https://youtu.be/BM9oOyufR5w?si=_nwsy...

Thanks. Any nice words are appreciated.

2 months ago | [YT] | 7

Vospi

I'm getting ready mentally.
1) To deliver another month of music to you, in October. Please watch for it.
2) And to get 39 years old, 26th of September.
When it seems like your life slips away, grab it and hold it. That's what I do.
Let's goooooo

2 months ago | [YT] | 15

Vospi

Dear listeners, I wanna design a lil game for you.
With little signed merch mementos.
To commemorate the release.

Please head to my Twitter/X: username is vospivospi.
Youtube doesn't like me inserting the actual link. Understandable, but upsetting.

See you there.

-- Vospi, at your service

1 year ago | [YT] | 11

Vospi

Announcement:
2 of older Vospi tracks are waiting for a release.
Just in a number of days.

These are already somewhat famous, with a ton of memories attached to them.

I'm trying to make this year special for me.
And I hope it'll make yours better, too.

1 year ago | [YT] | 9

Vospi

I can't fucking believe how much music did I write in a month. Worthwhile music, too. 01 hour 42 minutes (not counting the long podcast) currently, and I have two more to do. And I also did the 1 synth challenge contest.

Just doesn't register. I did it all and can't believe it.

2 years ago | [YT] | 26