Jellie Bee

New channel, first video on there!

I'll be posting one final video on here eventually.

4 years ago | [YT] | 18

Jellie Bee

So this makes me a bit nervous to post, but I've missed making videos and will be working on a new channel!
www.youtube.com/channel/UCMky...
It will be art and vlog themed but with a strong lean on doing relaxing and soft videos as I know a lot of you still use my videos as ASMR style vids and I was always mega proud of that.
I will post a video on this channel at some point and after that I will log out for the forseeable future. I currently use this account as it has all my subscribed channels on. I'm moving everything over this month!
See you there, if you'd like to get updates from me~

4 years ago | [YT] | 25

Jellie Bee

Hi guys!
Hope you're all doing well. I wanted to write a post just to explain a little about my silence.
This channel is, for me, officially over. The name, the connection to my past, all of it is incredibly painful for me to address and use. Some of you have seen a video I posted on Unlisted that explained what was actually going on whilst I was active on this channel. That video is now private but I kept every comment - so thank you for your kind words.

In summary, I was in a very unstable and abusive relationship, which ended in 2017, as I was rescued by my best friend. During the time of my channel's most active years (2014-2017), I used this channel as a way of escape, to hide from my real life. As a result of the trauma that occured, I actually have next to no memory of these years, save for a few very specific moments and these videos that haunt me. Seeing myself in these videos is jarring, because I know what that girl was really going through.

I am currently on a waitlist for both standard therapy for my bipolar and also with a charity that helps women who have been abused by male partners.

I am very much now safe and happy, and I didn't want to return to YouTube. I did a lot of soul searching and this channel was always putting me on edge. I felt the need to constantly perform. I measured my worth as a human by the amount of interaction you guys gave me. More views meant I was worth more as a person. Less views and negative comments only hurt my mental health, more than they realistically should.

In short, I was unhappy with the 'mask' of Jellie Bee. She and I are very different people, so much so that I easily refer to her in third person. Jellie Bee was a name that held a lot of pain, hurt and shame, it held the weight of a very weak person.

As a result, I changed my online usernames across everything as of September last year. It's a name that reflects me as I am now, a spark, a light, a happy person.

Many of my friends who knew of the situation have helped me in ways I could never start to pay back, it's immeasurable. Even those who I see only socially at comic conventions saw me as though I was someone entirely new.

I feel like I've met friends again for the first time, I've been granted a second chance, a chance to become myself.

It is coming up to three years since I managed to escape. I am grateful, despite all that I lost, that I was able to survive long enough to actually stop simply surviving and just....start living.

Everyone deserves the chance to be happy.

I hope that you will all understand why I have been silent. I actually miss making videos, but not enough to return to YouTube, and if I were to, this channel would remain as is. It would need to be a fresh channel if I were to upload ever again.

I am leaving my videos up for you to watch as so many of you have used them to make yourselves happy.

So, in closing, I'm happy to meet you all. My name is Sparkiiro and it's a pleasure.

Thank you for listening.

My new social media:
twitch.tv/sparkiiroinstagram.com/sparkiirotwitter.com/sparkkiiro

4 years ago | [YT] | 279

Jellie Bee

Anyone else coming to the centre today? We’re in the queue! Also it’s my birthday :) happy pokemon day everyone!

5 years ago | [YT] | 53

Jellie Bee

Live on Twitch for those that miss me :) organising my prints and con stock, giving advice on packing etc! Http://Twitch.tv/sparkpuff

5 years ago | [YT] | 97

Jellie Bee

Episode 2 is now live!! We talk about the AMAZING Pokemon Direct from last week!

5 years ago | [YT] | 16

Jellie Bee

Exciting news! Me and my pal Charlie have started a Pokemon Podcast! We’re awkward and we have a lot to talk about but we’re super excited for this! Please check it out :3

5 years ago | [YT] | 32

Jellie Bee

A week today I’ll be setting up at London MCM! Will I see you guys there?

6 years ago | [YT] | 174

Jellie Bee

There are no words to describe how I’m feeling, reading the comments on my very difficult video. I made and posted it a week ago. Since then, in myself I’ve felt lighter, happier and even prettier in myself. It’s like shedding a huge weight I’ve been carrying around. For those that haven’t seen it, the link is on my Twitter (@missjelliebee - there’s no other account I’ve used other than ones that have been taken after I’ve used them. I get a lot of people asking why my Twitter is suspended - it’s not me haha).
The day after I did myself a cosplay test for Ochaco Uraraka from My Hero Academia and I felt worthy of praise for the first time in years.
I’m sharing a picture of myself now, to show you what your support has done to me. I’m free now.
Maybe one day the video will be public on my page. I doubt.
As for the situation with my partner, he’s currently undergoing surgery after his accident but he’s fine! I’m more stressed than him, barely eating or sleeping. Thank you again for all your support.
This channel was born from a place of loneliness, abuse and pain. But I’m hoping one day I can look at it in a way that makes me happy. It’s already going that way now.
I love you all so much 💖

(Ps there’s more Ochaco on my personal Instagram @misssonia.nevermind - a lot of my side accounts got locked out due to some glitch and I’ve had to make new ones 😡)

6 years ago | [YT] | 199

Jellie Bee

Hey guys, won’t be able to work on a video this week. My partner has had a serious accident on his way home. We’re currently in hospital waiting for more info. He’s able to walk but he’s damaged his arm very severely, so will need some looking after. Thanks guys

6 years ago | [YT] | 233