Table of Gods

4,000 years ago, a Mesopotamian king feared the gods wanted him dead. To fool the gods, he gave his crown and kingship to a random gardener. The idea? Let the gods strike the wrong man, then reclaim the throne once the danger had passed.*

But the Mesopotamian gods weren’t so easily fooled. While hiding in the palace, the real king dined on porridge. It was hot. Very hot. Allegedly so hot he choked and died.

The gardener? He stayed king for 24 years. And the porridge? We’ve made our version, but served with cold milk. Just to be on the safe side.

Visit tableofgods.com/porridge to get the recipe.

*This is a true story based on a ritual called shar puhi, or “substitute king.” Whether it was the gods, the porridge, or the gardener who killed the king remains a mystery. The king’s name was Erra-imitti and the doomed gardener who took his place was Enlil-bani.

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15 hours ago | [YT] | 1,346

Table of Gods

The word “kebab” derives from the Akkadian verb kababu, meaning “to burn”. From this verb comes the noun gabbubu, an ancient Assyrian dish of grilled ovine meat. And in a relief from the Neo-Assyrian Empire, over 2,500 years ago, Assyrian soldiers are shown grilling gabbubu over an open fire.

As I traveled through the Assyrian heartland while doing research for my cookbook, Table of Gods, I ate gabbubu at least once a day for a week. Whether I ordered it at a stand or in a restaurant, it was always prepared the same way: lamb grilled on skewers and served on freshly baked flatbread with thick yogurt sauce and greens—just like it may have been served thousands of years ago.

Despite serious threats from my friend, a gabbubu master who insists the meat should be cooked over a fire, here I’m offering you an adapted version you can make in your kitchen.

Here are photos from recipe testers who’ve brought the recipe back to life. Visit tableofgods.com/kebab to get the recipe!

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1 day ago | [YT] | 2,300

Table of Gods

The most common oven in ancient Mesopotamia was the tinuru—a cylindrical clay oven with an open top. Unlike dome ovens, which were mostly present in temples and used to bake loaves or cakes, the tinuru was the oven of the people. It was made entirely of clay, which was freely available to anyone living near a river.

Both unleavened barley bread and leavened wheat bread could be baked in the tinuru, so long as the dough was flat enough to stick to the inner wall of the oven. Despite the introduction of electricity, tinuru ovens remain widely used in the Middle East today.

But if you don't have one in your backyard, this recipe is for you. Visit tableofgods.com/tinuru to get the recipe!

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2 days ago | [YT] | 2,204

Table of Gods

Mersu is one of history’s oldest desserts. Its earliest mention comes from Ur during the Sumerian Renaissance around 2100 BC. It may be even older, however, as mersu is an Akkadian word derived from marasu, meaning “to mix.” Little is known about the dessert from this early period, though a clay tablet confirms it contained flour and ghee. Later tablets reveal that it could also include figs, raisins, apples, dates, pistachios, oil, beer, cumin, coriander—and believe it or not, onions and garlic.

But what did mersu look and taste like? Because it was sometimes called ninda mersu (ninda meaning “bread”), it may have been a sweetened loaf. Some scholars suggest a pudding; others, a cake.

What’s certain is that mersu took many forms and remained popular well into the Neo-Assyrian period—nearly 1,500 years after its first recorded appearance in Ur.

Our earliest attempts produced a cake. After many iterations, and after encountering a Sumerian proverb—“there’s no baked cake in the middle of the dough”—we settled on this version.

Get the recipe at tableofgods.com/mersu

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3 days ago | [YT] | 3,847

Table of Gods

Huhhurtu was commonly offered in the temple of the god Ashur in the 13th century BC. The Assyrian bakers described it as “sweet stuff,“ and some of the ingredients were wheat flour, sesame oil, and dates.

Huhhurtu was strictly Assyrian, and was only baked in Ashur. Some scholars suggest it may be a forerunner of the Jewish bread challah. The theory is based on the Assyrian word huhhurtu being adopted into Aramaic as hhwrh and hhwrt, renderings of the biblical hallah (challah in English).

Huhhurtu is one of 60+ Mesopotamian recipes from my upcoming cookbook, Table of Gods, and here are some photos from people who’ve tried it.

Visit tableofgods.com/bread if you want to try it. And don't forget to spare a bite for Ashur :)

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4 days ago | [YT] | 1,853

Table of Gods

When I learned that the Assyrians added pomegranates to their cakes in the Iron Age, I knew we had to bring it back. And today, 3,000 years later, hundreds of people around the world have baked it.

Here are some photos from people who’ve tried it.

If you want to know how a pomegranate cake tasted in the Iron Age, visit tableofgods.com/cake 🎂

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5 days ago | [YT] | 3,957

Table of Gods

Inana was perhaps the most enduring deity in ancient Mesopotamia, and was worshipped for over 3,000 years in Sumer, Babylon, and Assyria. She later influenced the goddesses Astarte, Aphrodite, and Venus. But Inana is also remembered in a cookie. In a 13th-century cookbook from Baghdad, there’s a cookie stuffed with dates and nuts. Its name? Irnin. Which in Akkadian was another name for Inana.

This is one of 60+ Mesopotamian recipes from my upcoming cookbook, Table of Gods. Here are some photos from people who’ve tried it.

Visit tableofgods.com/klecha to get the recipe!

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6 days ago | [YT] | 3,625

Table of Gods

Reviewing new paper samples. Think I can become a paper merchant after I’ve published Table of Gods. Perhaps even a copper merchant.

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1 week ago | [YT] | 876

Table of Gods

In 864 BC, the Assyrian king Ashurnasirpal threw history’s wildest party. For ten days, 69,574 guests feasted on tons of meat, fish, poultry, fruits, vegetables, and desserts—and washed it down with 100,000 liters of wine and 100,000 liters of beer. 

One dish from the Ashurnasirpal’s party, mentioned in a cuneiform inscription, was gubibate. A dumpling made from semolina and fine bulgur, filled with meat or vegetables, cooked in broth, and most importantly, eaten by hand.

Get the recipe at tableofgods.com/gubibate

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1 week ago | [YT] | 1,848

Table of Gods

Dates were the most abundant fruit in southern Mesopotamia and the Sumerians increased their harvest by gathering pollen from male date palms and climbing the female trees to pollinate them by hand.

This is one of 60+ Mesopotamian recipes from my upcoming cookbook, Table of Gods. Here are some photos from people who've tried it. If you want the recipe, visit tableofgods.com/dateballs

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1 week ago | [YT] | 2,676