Bebo Senpai YT

Random 3AM — YAP POST. . .

Not gonna lie, my persuading and convincing skills are so bad. . .

I can't convince Or persuade anyone. . .

So most of times, I always end up being in trouble for no reasons. . .

Or people end up thinking I'm lying all the time. . .

And another fact is that no one ever listens to me. . .

I try to tell them something, and they just ignore. . .

That's why I stopped talking because I realized no one ever listened to me. . .

Even in online, i often get ignored when I'm trying to talk. . .

So yeah, I just stopped talking and it wasn't really a bad choice. . .

Even now, talking to people feel bothersome. . .

At same time, it's feels really great to talk depending on the person. . .

Either I feel like I'm stuck with you because you are just having some boring talk with me. . .

Or I just want time to slow down so I can talk with you more. . .

The first one mostly happenes when I'm talking to someone new for some reason. . .

Being completely, it's happens with everyone. . .

Since it's just straight talk and boring, if it's been freaky talk. . .

Then sure you piqued my interest, but just some boring hi, hello type shi. . .

Then yeah, it's definitely one of the most boring thing I will encounter in my day. . .

But ofc, mostly those who contacted it's been always about pfp. . .

So ofc rarely anyones talk to me, and since I stopped doing pfps. . .

Numbers drops to 1-3 per day, fair enough since I don't want people who just use me for their own benefit. . .

Idc wheter it's business, you should just contact me in YT instead. . .

But not all are like this, some are actually stayed with me till now. . .

Even though we contact very less, it's still better than nothing. . .

And by the way, I'm not doing this for some attention or smtg. . .

Idc if you talk with me or not, I'm not a interesting person now anyways. . .

I won't be sharing any of my privacy, nor I have any interesting story to tell. . .

So it will be just awkward, but if you able to make me work up then we probably Hold up a good convo. . .

And btw I'm mostly a listener, I will listen wha u say but i wont be able to response better. . .

Maybe you feel like you're just bother me, although could be depending on the convo. . .

But mostly I don't feel bored or bothered by someone since I'm a good listener. . .

Although, my talks not suggest this fact. . .

But trust on me, I'm the one who listened to teacher while everyone's talking. . .

And I will be the one listen to you, while you are yapping. . .

Sounds kinda romantic, something I would say to my gf. . .

But then again even though I have a gf, she rarely talks to me. . .

Like once in a 1-2 months, and yk what we talk even after meeting for so long?. . .

Hi, hello, hru fine blah blah blah, that's all. . .

So technically, she's not a gf rather than just a stranger who u will say hi to. . .

But ofc she thinks I'm a boring person, that's why she appear rarely. . .

But ofc I won't be the one putting all the efforts, she should at least start talking about something. . .

So I might be able to at least carry it, but whatever it's her thinking. . .

Not willing to talk it's alright, no one around is begging to talk you. . .

I also wonder, why I'm sounding so rude rn?. . .

Honestly yeah, I did having lots of issues and kinda becoming a red flag. . .

I used to be kind, gentle and caring person. . .

Not bragging about it btw, but now I'm just someone who bothered by anything And hav anger issues. . .

All because of these traumatic events I had in the past few months. . .

But I'm stil not toxic, I'm still the same person. . .

It's just when I needed little care, everyone just showed me distance. . .

No one understand what was going on with me, nor I told anyone. . .

Although I did tried showing it, but yeah in the end no one is truly a good person. . .

Not me, nor anyone..... It's okay to be like this. . .

U should let the suffering person endure and Cope on his own. . .

So he/she won't need anyone, when he/she suffering again in the future. . .

And that's is the right choice, although sometimes it's okay to help. . .

Not okay but crucial, since who knows if that person could be able to endure that. . .

So you either see that person thanking you or either hating you. . .

Both cases requires understanding, mutual understanding between both. . .

I know I'm sounding like some psychological Dr. . .

Or maybe not, who knows for me I think I am. . .

I think I understand peoples, not fully but maybe at some point. . .

Ik who is real and who is fake, who to trust and who to not. . .

I understand this, the more I talk the more I understand. . .

Maybe I'm not talentless after all, and ofc I'm not being narcissistic. . .

But being honest, yeah I'm a narcissistic person. . .

Something I think I'm the only right person in the room full of wrong person. . .

And sometimes it's true, only if they listened to me that time. . .

You wouldn't have suffering this wit me now. . .

Although, there was risk but there is no bigger reward if there isn't risk. . .

But the in the end and as always idc. . .

Wish I could say that, I think Idc but I'm always the one who cared. . .

And the only one who got hurted, i hate bow God made me like this. . .

Although, I don't hate because I think. . .

If I wasn't there on that day of that person life. . .

That person life would have been harder. . .

And vice versa, I also made someone life harder as well by doing nothing. . .

Anyways, I yapped too much today. . ..

But it's all to cover up the missing yapped post. . .

Well anyways friends, hav a sweet dreams ~ ✨

9 hours ago | [YT] | 408

Bebo Senpai YT

It's Crazi how I feel sleepy all day. . .

But during nights, I don't feel sleepy at all. . .

It's really annoying, can't even stay awake or can't even sleep. . .

I wonder why, probably because I stay up all night like until 7 am. . .

So maybe my body thinks I'm supposed to stay up during night and sleep during the day. . .

But whatever, I really can't take naps during the day because it will completely mess up my routine. . .

I thought during school days, I will fix it. . .

But here I am sleeping at 5 am, even though I have school at 7 am. . .

Y'all be wondering, how I'm even alive atp. . .

And I'm wondering that too, maybe I might be guest of some days. . .

Because as you can see, my health is really messed up rn. . .

All that because of loneliness that i feel at night. . .

I honestly never felt this until nowadays. . .

This all started to happen since I'm kept on getting traumatic occurrence. . .

Whether it's lost of someone, or something idk. . .

But atleast i dont feel it all day, only during the night time. . .

And I doesn't stop eating like I stopped back then. . .

So yeah I'm just rn idk what I am rn, but it what it is ig. . .

I'm just hoping next year is be good because this year is now might be my last year. . .

Anyways, have a nice day/night ~ ✨

12 hours ago | [YT] | 436

Bebo Senpai YT

Just completed the new hsr quest. . .

And ofc as always it was peak asf. . .

And the next version is even more peak. . .

Can't wait for it ngl. . .

Anyway, have a nice day/night ~ ✨

14 hours ago | [YT] | 778

Bebo Senpai YT

Something really bad is going on with me. . .

first I've been having headache from days, which I thought caused by my late night stays. . .

Secondly my back Is hurting whenever I breath. . .

And thirdly my tinnitus gotten worse, it was barely noticeable back then. . .

But now it's gotten worse and not even that. . .

My ears also today suddenly started hurting and I almost faint. . .

Gladly I didn't but yeah it's getting worse days by days. . .

My family be Ignoring it from days now, but hopefully they won't now. . .

Cuz I literally think I might be dying. . .

And top of that, I has exams in like 4 days from now on. . .

I wonder, if I even able to do it? Cuz like I literally didn't understand anything. . .

Because the teachers there or maybe everyone is so fuqing lazy. . .

Not even trying to make us understand, just want to complete syllabus. . .

It doesn't matter whether anyone's understand it or not. . .

But like i said, if I go school or not, it means same thing. . .

Because in both cases, i ain't understanding anything. . .

But whatever, idc if I pass or fail since literally year 1 and 2 is just pure waste of time. . .

But since I'm forced to study and pass, I believe I really have no choice. . .

Anyways, have a nice day/night ~ ✨

1 day ago | [YT] | 178

Bebo Senpai YT

Random 3AM — POST. . .

Does y'all know, what's worst thing about being an gacha player?. . .

It's keeping up with all the games u play, like me play 2-3 games rn. . .

Which is Genshin, Star rail and Wuthering waves. . .

Although, I also played hi3 and zenless but I Quit them for now. . .

But even with these 3, it's really hard for me since I can only play one game at a time. . .

Rn I'm playing hsr, since I really need cyrene. . .

But I also need flins In genshin and galbrena in Wuthering waves. . .

But guess wha, in genshin I'm at 0 pity with no pulls and gurantee. . .

Although, in wuva I did have some pulls and is guaranteed. . .

Honestly, I really needed iuno, but fuq this storage man. . .

I actually wants to delete my waifu collection for real this time. . .

Although, I don't think it really gave me that much of storage. . .

And top of that, most of them makes me remember some memories. . .

Maybe u won't get how but yeah it does for me. . .

So it's kinda hard for me to delete for now, although i know one thing. . .

Once I get new phone, I definitely won't make any waifu collection. . .

But back to the topic, I won't be playing genshin until I get new phone. . .

And will continue with hsr and wuva for now. . .

But the real things that I need to do first is. . .

STUDY FOR THE EXAMS THAT IS COMING IN JUST FEW FUQING DAYS!!

2 days ago (edited) | [YT] | 1,718

Bebo Senpai YT

So the month of september has finally ended. . .

And as always has been, it definitely wasn't the peaceful one. . .

Although, it did started off little good but by the end. . .

Just like all others months, it has given me alot of traumatic or more like depressing. . .

Because I already been traumatized so much, I no longer feel traumatized about anything. . .

But still depression isn't also good, but one day I'm gonna get used to it. . .

But being completely honest, I no longer get depressed about anything. . .

I only got angry, I curse my life, punch some walls and then get fine. . .

And just like others months, I have no hope for this one too. . .

Infact, I'm sensing this one going to be way more terrible than the last one. . .

But whatever, I stopped caring about it long ago since I'm just here to suffer. . .

But whatever fuq off, anyways then. . .

Have a nice day/night ~ ✨

2 days ago | [YT] | 2,882

Bebo Senpai YT

Random 4am — Post. . .

For some fuqing reasons. . .

I always become sick during vacation, day off or weekends. . .

Like wtf bro, why exactly on weekends?. . .

I Thought I'm gonna chill and relax and then when I wake up. . .

Head hurts, sneezing, eyes burning and my whole body is in pain. . .

Like universe never wants me to chill and relax, it's just want me suffer all the time. . .

I really hate this shi ngl, rn I'm also feeling sick because I hav day of until 6. . .

But I'm just gonna say one thing. . .

Like God if you wanted take out ur outburst on someone, why u had chosen someone like me?. . .

Like brah, the way things are going with me. . .

I feel God just want me to suffer in this story. . .

I just pray him to rewrite it and at least add some happiness instead of 24/7 suffering. . .

But whatever, I somewhat accepted my fate which is being suffer all the time. . .

Although, I shouldn't say these things knowing instead of having pity on me. . .

It's gonna make it even more worse that before. . .

Cuz yeah I'm just the hated child tbh. . .

3 days ago | [YT] | 1,086