Mark DeJesus

7 Ways a Man Can be a Spiritual Leader in His Home:

1. Humble yourself under Christ.

When we humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God, we open our lives to the grace that God pours out. Every man has aspects of being a husband and a father where he has no idea what he’s doing. Shame takes over, because he feels like a failure, so he will tempted to withdraw into work or places that don’t trigger that shame. But in God, there is no shame when growing in his grace—it’s all about learning. In that humility, we learn to be teachable and correctable in a way that we welcome the learning and growth. We learn to say we are wrong, apologize and keep learning.

2. Be a man who watches and listens.

Be awake in what is going on in your home. Be watching, so that you know your wife’s joys and sorrows, strengths and weaknesses. Be someone who knows your family, where you respond to all things with a loving embrace, patience and kindness. Look at your wife in the eye and listen actively. Look at your sons and daughters and notice them. Be active in your response, not to “fix” but to love.

3. Take initiative.

Being a leader in your home does not mean being authoritarian or exerting control, but more living as a man who practices what he wants his home to be. Instead of trying to tell your family what to do, model it yourself. Be a person who prays, reads the Word and grows in the fruit of the Spirit. Share what you are learning and growing in—let your family be blessed by that. Take initiative in conversations, ask questions.

In order to take initiative, we have to face our fears and daily stretch ourselves. Otherwise it will be so easy to get lulled into the den of passivity, where we avoid so many things in life and seek to find comfort that does not involve stretching. Stretch your spiritual and emotional muscles every day.

4. Model a Life of Love

Many homes say they value certain things, but it’s not shown in the lifestyle of the home. It is so easy for homes to be built on performance or a passivity that hopes everyone will just figure out what they need. But it’s important to establish the value system by what is practiced. And the greatest is love.

Be someone who creates an environment of love in your home. A husband and father has a tremendous impact of establishing spiritual and emotional safety in his home by prioritizing what love looks like.

Start off with unconditional love that is given to your wife. Seek to lovingly embrace her, rather than trying to fix or hope her struggles just go away. Listen to her and understand her. If it doesn’t make sense to you, keep seeking to understand, because this will help develop your emotional bandwidth.

Be loving to yourself. A man who relates to his own heart with love will reflect that in how he relates to the world around him. This practice of being loving to yourself will break the chains of self-hatred that men wrestle with on a daily basis.

Let that loving acceptance and embrace flow to your children, that they hear and see that they are loved for who they are, not for what they do. Let the patience and kindness of God’s love be shown, as you will be stretched in both. But this is the learning journey of character development.

5. Use your presence, connection and words to add life.

Your presence, words and connection matter more than you will ever know! When you are home, BE THERE. Use eye contact, health touch, listening and communicate your confidence of love towards them.

I have spent the past 30 years of ministry work seeing the spiritual and emotional toll on people’s hearts, simply because their father did not notice them, speak love over them and show that love on a regular basis. You are not your family’s fixer, but you can be someone to help develop a healthy attachment to your family, which will help your wife and children to be reminded of the Promise that Jesus said He will never leave us or forsake us.

Whatever happens, do not let the devil steal the power your influence has in your home. You matter more than you will ever know!

6. Shift from I need to be served, to “I am here to serve in my home.”

Every man comes home from work exhausted and we have been conditioned in our generations to come home and check out. But in reality, when we as men arrive home, our real work in life is right in front of us. This is not something to do in striving, but out of a reminder to the love that you want to instill in your home.

I have learned something about coming home tired. If I always lean into “nobody bother me,” I’m too tired, with a mindset of “I need everyone to give to me” it actually doesn’t replenish.

I major change happened in my day when I came home and realized, “When I walk through this door, I am not here do just do a bunch of tasks. I am here to love.” When I shifted my mindset, I found more energy being added to my day.

It’s not about serving because we have to. We GET to serve. And that is what love will bring out.

7. Find creative ways to fill your tank.

As a man under the hand of Christ, you will need to dig deeper in receiving what you need. But when you humble yourself, the learning you need will show up, as God is faithful, and has ways to let helpful tools cross our paths. Whether is a mentor, book that is needed for reading or other forms of input, keep finding ways to fine tune your learning.

You are not a slave, but a son. In sonship, we learn each day to connect to the Fathers love for us, while practicing ways to let that love empower our home life.

It is also important that you care for your heart. While we all have ways that we doom scroll or mindlessly watch media, we all know there is very little deep refreshment found in those pathways. Too much of what men do in their down time does not actually fill or replenish their hearts. They are often depressed, bored, lonely and struggle with purpose.

Find practices of stillness, walks you take or brothers you talk to that remind you of being loved, remind you of who you are and recalibrate your hope. Connect to yourself in love, not with contempt, shame and abandonment.

Every man has unique rhythms and routines that help him to be present and fruitful in his home. You will need to personally discover through practice what helps recalibrate and refill your tank.

Take care of your temple. Get the sleep and eat what your body needs. Learn to rest and say no to things that are not priority. Because you want your mind and physiology to be at its best to be awake to the hearts of those in your home.

Watch this video to see more: https://youtu.be/MRP5I6E_o-4

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2 weeks ago | [YT] | 285

Mark DeJesus

Today, Maximus, we celebrate 18 years! You are deeply loved and I thank God for the heart that you have and who you are as a man of God.

I appreciate the heart that you have to value what is true and live in a way that honors God.

Im in awe of your creative talents, your ability to craft amazing paintings and drawings, as well as your writing and storytelling. They all flow from a heart of passion and beautiful emotion.

I am blown away by your positive outlook on your days, your ability to bounce back when you are discouraged.

Your passion and knowledge about nature and wildlife brings wonder to my heart. There is no animal you cannot name and you have such a deep appreciation for God’s creation. I have enjoyed every outdoor adventure with you as we’ve sought to explore the terrain of wherever we have gone.

Maximus, we believe in you. Your struggles do not define you. They become a part of your journey—an overcoming journey that God is walking with you in. Keep taking those steps of faith. And we will continue to cheer you on the whole way.

We have your back.

You are my dearly loved son. But you are also my brother in Christ. And I am honored to be in your life.

Happy birthday!

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4 weeks ago | [YT] | 1,728

Mark DeJesus

Our questions page is back up and working. It was down, but has now been fixed. Feel free to use the form for upcoming live Q&As. markdejesus.com/questions/

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 77

Mark DeJesus

Our live ended abruptly as we had a glitch with our connection. Tried to troubleshoot it but cant get it working. So sorry about that. Will continue with more content this week!

5 months ago | [YT] | 143

Mark DeJesus

Had a great conversation about mental and emotional health with Ben Pierce from the @ProvokeInspire
• podcast. Enjoy! https://youtu.be/0Na2veyHR0Q?si=kCx7v...

5 months ago | [YT] | 29

Mark DeJesus

My new book on Relationship OCD is now live and available in hardcover, paperback and kindle! (Audio book should be live in a few days.) Thank you for all your support and encouragement. This project is near and dear to my heart, as it hits home to a battle that felt debilitating. Healing and freedom is available for you. Get a copy and share the word! bit.ly/44kZu7B #ROCD #OCD #ROCDhealingjourney

10 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 189

Mark DeJesus

Continuing on The Trauma Healing Journey, I want to bring out the topic of Complex Trauma and CPTSD. This is an issue that describes what so many have been through and I want to bring some help to the subject. What areas do you hope I will address and what questions do you have regarding this topic? #traumahealingjourney

11 months ago | [YT] | 184

Mark DeJesus

I am starting a series of material on the subject of trauma, its impact on our lives and the journey of walking through how trauma has impacted how we think, feel and relate. (I plan to post my first episode on Wednesday or later this week.) What would hope could be addressed in a series on this topic?

1 year ago | [YT] | 454

Mark DeJesus

Was able to have our Sunday Night Live without audio glitches, so thank you for your patience as we get our setup working effectivey. Sunday Night Live is also now available on audio podcast. Check out tonight's episode here: https://youtu.be/lHkz71HVwAg

1 year ago | [YT] | 90

Mark DeJesus

I am taking a much needed sabbatical break until July. I will be spending some time getting refreshed and renewed, while prayerfully considering my upcoming videos and book projects. Looking forward to sharing more with you all when I come back! In the meantime, please be sure to check out my library of articles, videos, training materials, books and more. markdejesus.com

1 year ago | [YT] | 613