Dear everyone, I'm back in the land of the living as Ren says. I am because of what I am and what I was made for. I thank you all for 32 subs, means a lot. That means I can also go and livestream the closer I am to 50 subs I also wanted to talk about my best friend who is missing out of my life right now. Benji. My yt friend has ran off, blocked me on discord, and won't post anymore on yt. I don't know why but I hope he is okay cause I truly miss him I feel like part of me has a fault over it and if he is reading this I'm sorry I'm too worried. I don't even know where he is. If I could say something to him right now, I would say "I'm so proud of you and I miss you, I've wanted to talk to you and say so much I've been meaning to say." And hug him. I'm so proud of a lot of people but I truly hope that Benji isn't hurt and I pray for him I've been trying. I hope he understands that I don't want to do this without him.
I also miss my grandma. I'd walk down the half of a mile run down by the country side to her house to talk to her every once in a while. We would also eat food or have events there. It was like a safe haven. But my grandma was soon to go, she was sweet. Throwing every last thing she could before she died. I bet if I could tell her my whole life story before she died, I would. All I can say is that she is probably eating lunch in the sky withy friends Grandma 🙂
I also have been missing myself, I've been changed so much since a little over a year ago near my birthday (March 17) and I didn't have to worry about much. I had some good times and small hard times. How I could've boiled it down. I've been wondering how it could have been if I would have been myself a year ago now. I don't think I would understand as much as I did. I'm still trying to figure it out. Forgive me as I go down this path into right or wrong - Robert End typing 6:06 PM
Hey everyone and to my 32 subscribers, I've taken the time to write this as a comfort as I've been in a thick fog yesterday. Too much has happened but I want to share somebody who has been blowing up from the reaction community and in general. His name is Ren Eryn Gill. He is my favorite artist (you may say I'm glazing) But Ren has had some diseases and makes me feel less alone cause I have a mood disorder and I felt prevalent and relevant. So many diseases, disorders, and parts that shape our own mind.
About a year ago I was going through so much, I had depression immediately and was diagnosed with what felt like forever but a fast therapy session and I felt like I wasn't given much other than pills and to be told that I was gonna be given therapy and a specialist.
I was dealing with my heart being broken, my life just shrunk and I felt alone for a little while. I wasn't even sure what to do, let alone even seek in myself.
Ren shaped me, his music makes me realize so many things people have to go through in the medical community more than me. When I heard his chapters/stories I felt inspired to make my own, and soon you will hear my chapter stories over the last few years of what I went through
I'm so excited cause I'm gonna share something that shaped me, now stay tuned - Robert
I'm not feeling right at all right now I'm typing this as a way source to break away from what is going on. I woke up 2 hours ago feeling like my stomach was turning in a weird way. I'm now feeling dread and I feel like a slight mood change. I'm trying my best, cause I feel like I'm losing myself. To insight what I feel like is going on. I'm having some sort of virus or some madness in my body that is causing these changes. My therapist said I have to maybe change my diagnosis for Mood Disregulation Disorder and put it to psychosis. If you don't know what psychosis is. It's basically when you suffer from a change in your brain causing you to see and hear things that aren't there. Via Hallucinating if you must. A few months ago. I was hearing voices of just my name being whispered to me. It'd change me and break me at times but not to an extreme. I just was annoyed with the voices and I'd move on with my day. I'm hoping that this will find someone one day and could get help or there's not point for me to even be here End time: 9:40 AM
Hey everyone. I just thought I'd share some things that have gone on right now in my life. Depression isn't something new. It's something everyone is gonna go through. I started vaping last week and quickly quit last night and everything changed. I was met with relief but that was one thing in my life that needs to be completed. The possibility of what happened this night by the way has started. I was dragging myself into some of other fucking issues. I still miss my ex but I'm quickly realizing we aren't a thing anymore. No more holding on cause she isn't holding on. No more trying to keep it when she isn't keeping it. So I'm trying but it isn't easy I also quickly learned that it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter what you look like, race, how you sound, how you look. It doesn't matter like how I said life didn't matter either. It doesn't, but it's about what matters in it. What matters is the faith you held on to, it matters cause you're still here, it matters cause you decided that mattered. Stop worrying about being judged and find hope, love, and faith when you still have it. Cause your demise is your eternity. Are YOU gonna pay for your sins or is God going to? Cause we all know God wants you in heaven that's why he wants to and already did, dying for it. Just try, and understand that love. Falling under an addiction, thinking you don't matter. God wants you out of it, but it doesn't matter if you feel you aren't good enough, cause you are good enough. Stop doubting yourself and get yourself together for when you will die. I love you but that could make a difference. - Robert Time end typing: 10:00
Ik this is something not everyone will do but I wanna go back to the psych hospital cause I just don't know why I'm here on this planet rn. It's horrible and horrifying to say but I feel terrible and a huge portion of them wish they were dead. So I don't know what to do really Stay tuned ig for something
Hey everyone. I just wanna give 2 shoutouts to my friend Benji 😁 he is one of my bestest friends as another best of mine friend is Lore Core. They both hold as much as dearing in my heart. 🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭 They both are beautiful handsome beings
TYGSM FOR 20 SUBS!! Y'ALL ARE CRAZY. I know it's not much but it is to me. Like I thought I was only gonna have 5 to begin with. My end goal is 50 subs cause all I want is to live stream and actually have a blast for y'all I'm thinking of doing live streams to have fun or to answer questions. If you want to alert friends or anything about my channel, you can. Btw Ren is posting a new song TODAY at 1pm for Americans. Go watch the premiere today! @RenMakesMusic
CODE RED
CODE RED
I got this from Roblox M.E.G: Endless Reality from the Neon Station level. My personal favorite backrooms level
4 days ago | [YT] | 0
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CODE RED
4:46 time of typing | 26 Sep 2025
Dear everyone,
I'm back in the land of the living as Ren says. I am because of what I am and what I was made for.
I thank you all for 32 subs, means a lot. That means I can also go and livestream the closer I am to 50 subs
I also wanted to talk about my best friend who is missing out of my life right now. Benji. My yt friend has ran off, blocked me on discord, and won't post anymore on yt. I don't know why but I hope he is okay cause I truly miss him
I feel like part of me has a fault over it and if he is reading this I'm sorry
I'm too worried. I don't even know where he is. If I could say something to him right now, I would say
"I'm so proud of you and I miss you, I've wanted to talk to you and say so much I've been meaning to say."
And hug him. I'm so proud of a lot of people but I truly hope that Benji isn't hurt and I pray for him
I've been trying. I hope he understands that I don't want to do this without him.
I also miss my grandma. I'd walk down the half of a mile run down by the country side to her house to talk to her every once in a while.
We would also eat food or have events there. It was like a safe haven. But my grandma was soon to go, she was sweet. Throwing every last thing she could before she died.
I bet if I could tell her my whole life story before she died, I would. All I can say is that she is probably eating lunch in the sky withy friends Grandma 🙂
I also have been missing myself, I've been changed so much since a little over a year ago near my birthday (March 17) and I didn't have to worry about much. I had some good times and small hard times. How I could've boiled it down.
I've been wondering how it could have been if I would have been myself a year ago now. I don't think I would understand as much as I did. I'm still trying to figure it out. Forgive me as I go down this path into right or wrong
- Robert
End typing 6:06 PM
6 days ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
CODE RED
Hey everyone and to my 32 subscribers,
I've taken the time to write this as a comfort as I've been in a thick fog yesterday. Too much has happened but I want to share somebody who has been blowing up from the reaction community and in general.
His name is Ren Eryn Gill. He is my favorite artist (you may say I'm glazing)
But Ren has had some diseases and makes me feel less alone cause I have a mood disorder and I felt prevalent and relevant.
So many diseases, disorders, and parts that shape our own mind.
About a year ago I was going through so much, I had depression immediately and was diagnosed with what felt like forever but a fast therapy session and I felt like I wasn't given much other than pills and to be told that I was gonna be given therapy and a specialist.
I was dealing with my heart being broken, my life just shrunk and I felt alone for a little while. I wasn't even sure what to do, let alone even seek in myself.
Ren shaped me, his music makes me realize so many things people have to go through in the medical community more than me. When I heard his chapters/stories I felt inspired to make my own, and soon you will hear my chapter stories over the last few years of what I went through
I'm so excited cause I'm gonna share something that shaped me, now stay tuned - Robert
I was trying not
6 days ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
CODE RED
Do y'all like the PFP? I won't gatekeep where I got it if this gets more love on it than hate
1 week ago | [YT] | 0
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CODE RED
Time of typing: 9:32 AM
I'm not feeling right at all right now
I'm typing this as a way source to break away from what is going on. I woke up 2 hours ago feeling like my stomach was turning in a weird way. I'm now feeling dread and I feel like a slight mood change.
I'm trying my best, cause I feel like I'm losing myself. To insight what I feel like is going on. I'm having some sort of virus or some madness in my body that is causing these changes.
My therapist said I have to maybe change my diagnosis for Mood Disregulation Disorder and put it to psychosis.
If you don't know what psychosis is. It's basically when you suffer from a change in your brain causing you to see and hear things that aren't there. Via Hallucinating if you must.
A few months ago. I was hearing voices of just my name being whispered to me.
It'd change me and break me at times but not to an extreme. I just was annoyed with the voices and I'd move on with my day.
I'm hoping that this will find someone one day and could get help or there's not point for me to even be here
End time: 9:40 AM
2 weeks ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
CODE RED
Time of typing: 9:51 PM
Hey everyone. I just thought I'd share some things that have gone on right now in my life. Depression isn't something new. It's something everyone is gonna go through.
I started vaping last week and quickly quit last night and everything changed. I was met with relief but that was one thing in my life that needs to be completed.
The possibility of what happened this night by the way has started.
I was dragging myself into some of other fucking issues. I still miss my ex but I'm quickly realizing we aren't a thing anymore. No more holding on cause she isn't holding on. No more trying to keep it when she isn't keeping it. So I'm trying but it isn't easy
I also quickly learned that it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter what you look like, race, how you sound, how you look. It doesn't matter like how I said life didn't matter either. It doesn't, but it's about what matters in it. What matters is the faith you held on to, it matters cause you're still here, it matters cause you decided that mattered. Stop worrying about being judged and find hope, love, and faith when you still have it. Cause your demise is your eternity. Are YOU gonna pay for your sins or is God going to? Cause we all know God wants you in heaven that's why he wants to and already did, dying for it. Just try, and understand that love. Falling under an addiction, thinking you don't matter. God wants you out of it, but it doesn't matter if you feel you aren't good enough, cause you are good enough. Stop doubting yourself and get yourself together for when you will die. I love you but that could make a difference.
- Robert
Time end typing: 10:00
2 weeks ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
CODE RED
Ik this is something not everyone will do but I wanna go back to the psych hospital cause I just don't know why I'm here on this planet rn.
It's horrible and horrifying to say but I feel terrible and a huge portion of them wish they were dead. So I don't know what to do really
Stay tuned ig for something
3 weeks ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
CODE RED
28 subs got me rolling cause we almost close to 50 subs than ever. Thx y'all sm. I will post more later I'm just not feeling well
3 weeks ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
CODE RED
Hey everyone. I just wanna give 2 shoutouts to my friend Benji 😁 he is one of my bestest friends as another best of mine friend is Lore Core. They both hold as much as dearing in my heart. 🥹🥹🥹😭😭😭😭😭😭 They both are beautiful handsome beings
1 month ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
CODE RED
Time of Typing this: 9:13 AM
TYGSM FOR 20 SUBS!!
Y'ALL ARE CRAZY.
I know it's not much but it is to me. Like I thought I was only gonna have 5 to begin with. My end goal is 50 subs cause all I want is to live stream and actually have a blast for y'all
I'm thinking of doing live streams to have fun or to answer questions. If you want to alert friends or anything about my channel, you can.
Btw Ren is posting a new song TODAY at 1pm for Americans. Go watch the premiere today!
@RenMakesMusic
2 months ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
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