September 10th was world suicide prevention day and I didn’t post anything because sometimes those types of things feel misguided but I changed my mind and thought I’d share a pic of me smiling (which I do a lot of now) with a quick message of encouragement to anyone for whom it might be useful. • In May of 2016 I was laying in a bed in the Tuft’s hospital psychiatric wing, wondering why all these medical professionals seemed so intent on trying to save such an obviously lost cause. I was convinced in ways I’ve never been convinced of anything that nothing good would ever come of my life. It felt as though my future was full of nothing but suffering, not only the suffering that the disease would bring me but also the suffering that I would bring to those who tried to help me as I dragged us all into the utter disaster that my life would surely be. Naturally, it seemed beyond argument that the best thing to do would be to simply move on from this world as quietly as possible and spare myself and others this guaranteed misery. That period of my life was far worse than anything I could have ever imagined beforehand, but I didn’t do it. I stuck around. And little by little, hand over hand, I collected the leftover fragments of who I used to be and reformed them into the person that I am today. Although bipolar disorder can’t be cured, it can absolutely be tamed. As of now, the meds work, I have purpose in life, and when I think about my future I can’t help but smile. If I had done what I very deeply wanted to do, you wouldn’t be reading this right now. There would be no Roland Faunte, there would be no Sewing Kit. All that I’ve accomplished and all that I will accomplish, though perhaps it isn’t much, would have vanished into nothingness in an instant. I’ve exchanged messages with hundreds of listeners who often express that they’re living in that hell that I used to live in. As I’ve said to them, you truly cannot imagine what can happen when you choose to press on, to fight those thoughts, and one day emerge onto the other side, into the beautiful world of life without depression. Godspeed and good luck.
Roland Faunte
From Insta:
September 10th was world suicide prevention day and I didn’t post anything because sometimes those types of things feel misguided but I changed my mind and thought I’d share a pic of me smiling (which I do a lot of now) with a quick message of encouragement to anyone for whom it might be useful.
•
In May of 2016 I was laying in a bed in the Tuft’s hospital psychiatric wing, wondering why all these medical professionals seemed so intent on trying to save such an obviously lost cause. I was convinced in ways I’ve never been convinced of anything that nothing good would ever come of my life. It felt as though my future was full of nothing but suffering, not only the suffering that the disease would bring me but also the suffering that I would bring to those who tried to help me as I dragged us all into the utter disaster that my life would surely be. Naturally, it seemed beyond argument that the best thing to do would be to simply move on from this world as quietly as possible and spare myself and others this guaranteed misery. That period of my life was far worse than anything I could have ever imagined beforehand, but I didn’t do it. I stuck around. And little by little, hand over hand, I collected the leftover fragments of who I used to be and reformed them into the person that I am today. Although bipolar disorder can’t be cured, it can absolutely be tamed. As of now, the meds work, I have purpose in life, and when I think about my future I can’t help but smile. If I had done what I very deeply wanted to do, you wouldn’t be reading this right now. There would be no Roland Faunte, there would be no Sewing Kit. All that I’ve accomplished and all that I will accomplish, though perhaps it isn’t much, would have vanished into nothingness in an instant. I’ve exchanged messages with hundreds of listeners who often express that they’re living in that hell that I used to live in. As I’ve said to them, you truly cannot imagine what can happen when you choose to press on, to fight those thoughts, and one day emerge onto the other side, into the beautiful world of life without depression. Godspeed and good luck.
6 years ago (edited) | [YT] | 200
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