i am Paul Cram

Turns out a room full of men discussing ancient goddess worship makes for a surprisingly lively book club.

This past Saturday our Men-Who-Read book club tackled When God Was a Woman by Merlin Stone for Women’s History Month.

And I’ll be honest—I did not expect the conversation to get quite as lively as it did.

The book looks at women’s roles in early religion and history, and it opened the door to a really thoughtful discussion. For some of us who grew up in pretty conservative or fundamentalist religious environments, parts of it hit a deeper emotional chord than we expected.

And as always with this group, everyone brought their own perspective to the table… which is where the conversation gets interesting.

Meanwhile, the atheist in the room basically shrugged and said, “Huh. Interesting history.”
I’ll admit… I’m a little jealous of that level of emotional detachment. 😅

The book was written in the 1970s, and sure—not every claim is beyond debate. But clearly it still has the power to get people thinking, comparing notes on their backgrounds, and having the kind of conversations you don’t usually stumble into over coffee.

Which, frankly, is kind of the whole point of a book club.

👉 If you enjoy books that nudge you to think a little differently—and conversations that get thoughtful, curious, and occasionally surprising—come check out Men-Who-Read.

Sometimes the best books are the ones that make you pause and go, “Huh… I hadn’t thought about it that way before.”

#MenWhoRead #BookClub #WomensHistoryMonth #ReadersLife #GoodBooksGoodTalk #Goddess #History #Archaeology

3 days ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

I believe I’ve found a way into the backrooms #backrooms #backroomslevel #liminal

1 week ago | [YT] | 1

i am Paul Cram

The work feels less like healing and more like walking back into a fog covered forest.

You hear things before you see them. Old echoes. Shapes just beyond your sight.

And you walk in anyway.

Because eventually you realize the things in the woods are not monsters.

Some are emotions you never got to lay down. Heavy. Present. Walking beside you.

Some are the armor you built when you were too young to have to be that strong. A warrior formed before you ever volunteered for war.

You realize you cannot kill them.
You cannot pray them away.

The emotions can feel overwhelming. They are not trying to destroy you.
The shadow is not evil. Part of it is a former warrior.

It learned to stay sharp. To brace. To strike when it believed you were under threat. It carried you through a war you should not have had to fight.

It also carries fierceness. Instinct. Power. Strength that had to grow up too fast.

Now the work is not slaying it.
The work is teaching it the war is over.

That is slow.
That is motherfucking painful.
And I could not do it alone.

I am not polished. I am not finished. I still get scared in the woods sometimes.

But I am not running anymore. I am walking.

If you have parts of you that feel too intense, too sharp, too much… maybe they are not broken.
Maybe they survived something real.

That is the work.

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 1

i am Paul Cram

Collapsed into bed after a quick shower, sweat finally rinsed away.
I’m sore... haven’t-danced-that-hard-in-years sore. Sweat dripping into my eyes, lungs open, voice absolutely gone, body worked. This week has been heavy, and my body needed somewhere for it to go.

Tonight on the dance floor, I let the anger, rage, joy, and something softer move through me and out of my body.
And honestly? I didn’t know this was something I needed.

I started dancing alone.
I didn’t end up that way.

Grateful for the people who showed up, moved, and let loose with me. A friend, J—and some strangers who became dance-floor friends. I needed that more than I realized. And I see how blessed and privileged I am to even be able to move around in this way. With freedom.

Still sad. Still sore. A little melancholy.
And smiling too—because this life, even when I don’t fully get it, is better with a few people I get to call friends.

Goodnight. Let’s keep going.

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

📚 We started 2026 the way we like to—together, with a good book and a better conversation.

Our Men-Who-Read book club’s first read of the year was Moonwalking With Einstein by Joshua Foer—and the verdict? Worth it. Smart, engaging, and a solid walk through how memory works, how we’re taught (or not), and why paying attention matters. A little eye-rolling at a few “bro club” moments, sure—but overall, a good book and a great conversation.

What matters most: men of all sexuality stripes showing up curious, thoughtful, and willing to listen. Reading together. Talking honestly. Building real community.

More books. More connection. Onward into 2026. 📖✨

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

You don’t have to complete a checklist to be worthy of existing…
Of pursuing your very own happiness.You are not a “before” photo waiting for permission to live.Your worth is not dependent on beingmore muscular
more “holy”more handsomemore clever
More interestingmore anything.Striving for health, growth, humor, joy?Great. Keep that.But none of it is a prerequisite.Knowing you are already enoughis a quiet power move.It changes how you show up.What you tolerate.What you stop chasing.It also changes who stays.(Some people can’t handle you without self-doubt attached.)Let them go.They were attached to your proving, not your presence.Build your life from enough.Not hustle. Not shame. Not “one day.”You are allowed to exist—fully—right now.This is your story, and you get to write a hell-of-a-lot of it.
You are allowed to exist as you are. You are enough. You are worthy.

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

For anyone who grew up with faith before they had a choice—and is now doing the slow work of figuring out what they actually believe (the real work, not the performative kind):

Be gentle with yourself.

Unlearning indoctrination isn’t rebellion—it’s discernment.
Letting go of beliefs that harmed you isn’t failure—it’s care.

You’re allowed to question.You’re allowed to evolve.You’re allowed to build a spiritual life—or none at all—that honors your body, your mind, and your experience.

The stories we inherit aren’t always the ones we keep.

That work counts. You count.

1 month ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

Holidays can stir up old family wounds.
Some need tending, not reopening—soft bandages, time, care.
To anyone healing from what you didn’t deserve: you’re allowed to heal and protect yourself from being hurt again.

1 month ago | [YT] | 1

i am Paul Cram

🎄📚This month we read "Christmas: A Candid History" by Bruce David Forbes and learned a few delightful curveballs:

✨ Christians didn’t celebrate Christmas for three centuries

✨ Puritans once made Christmas illegal (imagine banning tinsel)

✨ St. Nicholas shows up as… an elf?!



Overall take: a thoughtful, level-headed look at Christmas history from a Christian author who isn’t afraid to say, “Let’s all calm down.” No “war on Christmas” here—just a reminder that December has always been about winter, community, and a little joy… and maybe Christians can claim the 12 days after if they want to get specific. 😉



A bit dry in spots, but sprinkled with genuinely fascinating (and occasionally what-did-the-church-do-with-the-bones?!) moments.



Festive? Yes. Educational? Absolutely.

Overthinking Christmas just enough? Also yes. 🎁😄

#MenWhoRead #BookClubVibes #ChristmasHistory #ReadCuriously #WinterReads

3 months ago | [YT] | 0

i am Paul Cram

Where’s the dating app for middle-aged gay librarians? Asking for a friend… and by “friend,” I mean me, holding a library card and questionable intentions. 😇📘💋 I am actively looking for a middle-aged gay librarian who can whisper “quiet, please” in all the right ways. 😌📚❤️‍🔥

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4 months ago | [YT] | 2