PepperPixel

Hello! Have a little GIF I did today of one of my fantrolls smiling! 'cuz I'm pretty happy with how it turned out and I want people to see it. even tho its not a video or anything I still! I think its cute ghghg-

(alsooo.. on the subject of videos. I'm currently still basically displaced because of the fire.. like.. I am staying somewhere right now but I wont be here for much longer. and there's a high probability I'm gonna be moving around more than once in the coming month so.. sO. videos.. might be sparse for a little bit.. just cuz I need to spend more energy and time on. real life stuff ghggh. but! hopefully I will be able to find the free time to still work on some vids! but! realistically I might not be able to find that free time.. so. just being transparent about that ghghg.. eventually I'll be able to really get back into the swing of things but! life is still. tough atm, so yeah ghhg- thank you guys for understanding and being patient w me!)

4 years ago | [YT] | 157

PepperPixel

yOOOO, Happy... Day after Halloween?? lol. Here's a Moxxie I drew! Cuz the new Helluva Boss episode was.. Pretty fuckin good honestly.. and I officially love this lil demon dude.
You can check out this pic over on my tumblr or twitter too if you wanna!
Tumblr ver: pepperpixel.tumblr.com/post/633617113747177472/yo-…Twitter ver: twitter.com/PepPixel/status/1323004836309327873?s=…

5 years ago | [YT] | 94

PepperPixel

Hey everybody! This post is gonna be dual purpose. As both an announcement, and also an update relating to that announcement. Buuut.. also talking about other important stuff too.  (Please. Please read the whole post. It's important.)

So firstly! The announcement! Cuz with the preview pic it'd be kinda stupid to bring it up at the end like it's a surprise lol. 
So yeah!: I got myself a Ko-Fi! Here's the link!:

ko-fi.com/pepperpixel
Sooo. If you guys enjoy what I do and wanna support me. Theres finally a way for you guys to do it! if that's something that you'd like to do, There's no pressure lol. Eventually. One day, I'm hoping to set up a patreon as well. That is on my mind. But. To ease into this whole.. making money thing?? I'm starting out with the Ko-Fi! So yea..! consider doing that if you wanna. And if you do I'm. Eternally grateful honestly. Thank you.

Ok.. now! On to the update.. So almost every single community update post I've EVER MADE. Involves at least 1 sentence of me apologizing profusely for a lack of uploads, A lack of quality uploads, Or both! This update is. also going to be about that. But it's. I think finally, A real turnaround. So yeah.. Let's fucking do this.

So. The transition period into becoming an adult has been. An extremely hard one for me. For many different reasons.. And I'm starting to really realize I've basically been neck deep in a depressive slump for most of it. So. What this has to do with my art and my channel is I sorta got myself stuck in a self fulfilling prophecy with my art. 
A thing that's been constantly plaguing me for very long time. Is this idea that I've devolved as an artist. That I hit my peak like 2 years ago and have only been going downhill since. And looking at my channel it seems to reflect that as true! And. within this past year specifically … it's really felt like my abilities and productivity had finally truly hit rock bottom. I hated. how all my stand alone pieces turned out and I didn't have any drive to create videos. It's been fucking rough. And its sort of just become my normal! I just thought I really had lost some spark I used to have. And that I'd never be able to get it back.

That led to a situation where. Being an adult. Everyone in my life was pushing me to finally make a career out of my art. Set stuff up! Make a Patreon! get a Ko-Fi! Do commissions! Just make fuckin bucks! Do something with myself!! But.. That created an issue where. I would have to ask you all for money! And support! When I was already feeling like scum for not being as good as I used to be. I felt like I was letting you all down already. Because I hated my art so much. And wasn't making any videos. So the thought of asking you all for your hard earned money on top of that. at the point when I felt as though i didn't deserve. anything! Was honestly terrifying. I felt like a fraud. Tricking people into following me back when my art was good and then dragging them along now that it was all awful. Asking for money on top of that was. Impossible to me.

So.. I kept on pushing off setting any forms of income up! Cause I couldn't imagine asking anyone for their money when my stuff was so shit. And I continued pushing it off for months! And for like a whole year at this point! And I got even further into my rut. And then! with me not setting up any income for art. It led to a fear of me letting my family down. And being a failure or a disappointment. But I just kept on, not doing anything!! Not trying to improve my art, Not setting up an income, I just tried my best to ignore all the stuff that was pressing down on me at all sides. It was. Really bad..

So.. around the start of this year. I finally buckled down with my therapist and realized that I had to do something, namely. Setting up a patreon. Cuz. That's what I should be doing! To be a good adult! Right!? …. I then proceeded to continue procrastinating doing things for another half a year till around this past month and a half. Where we both finally realized: "hey! So uh. this is going nowhere. maybe we should try figuring out the root of the issue and what's stopping me."

So.. yeah..! Long story short, I have now. /finally/ started to untangle the very complicated series of things that has led to this past year of my life being a complete nightmare. And I'm feeling confident. A. LOT more than before..

I started trying to communicate my issues more with my friends and family. And asking them for help! I started writing stuff down to figure out what the hell is actually wrong with me! I've been getting my sleep schedule back to rights! Instead of going to sleep at 5am and waking up at 1pm everyday I'm actually! not nocturnal anymore lol. Which is awesome!! It feels like there's a lot more hours in the day to do things. 

I also buckled down and started learning how to do 3d cgi stuff! Which is something I've been wanting to learn how to do for a long time. I only made a little cube guy so far but. It's something I wanna do more of in the future.

MOST importantly though!: I sat down. Got my laptop. Opened up my drawing program. And made a fucking animation. It's not about any pre-existing characters. And It's not long. But it's characters. Moving around!!! Pretty well too! And it's fully colored! and fucking shaded!!
ALSO. It only took me 4 hours.. ((It's only 24 frames long. Because clip studio paint has a weird frame limit and I gotta figure that out lol))
But even though it isn't a long animation, 4 hours is still sO FUCKING FAST! Especially for something lined colored and fucking shaded! I was so terrified that I'd lost my spark. That I couldn't figure out how to animate anymore. That since I hadn't done it in so long that It would be too difficult to get back into the groove of doing it again. But.. 4 hours. That's pretty consistent with how fast younger me used to do stuff..

I was just. So stuck in this self fulfilling loop. Too scared and too defeated to even OPEN my laptop. Let alone animate. Cuz: "what's the point. I just can't do the stuff I used to be able to". So I'd try making videos on my phone instead. Cuz' it's more convenient and I don't have to deal with my slow ass laptop for nothing. But it would take fOREVER. To do anything on my phone! And drawing animation frames traditionally took a long ass time too! Which reinforced to my brain that I was just fucking slow now! And then the cycle continues forever!

But 4 hours. That's. I would expect that time 2 years ago… seeing myself doing it now… It's given me. A lot of fucking hope.. And a lot of confidence that I really can figure a way out of this slump. That i won't be stuck hating my art forever. I genuinely /believe/ that I can do this. And that's. Incredible. Cuz I can't stress enough how genuinely I thought my art was just gonna be crap forever. That I'd just lost my drive. And I did! But. I'm finally starting to turn around..  And I'm so fucking happy about it.

So hey… sorry for writing a huge ass speech about my mental struggles. But, I really couldn't and can't just sit here and pretend that everythings been hunky dory, cause it hasn't! But, it's finally starting to really get better! I want to try and be more honest with you guys about what's going on with me from now on. Cuz you guys deserve to know what's up.

Also. /Very/ important. Thank you all SO much for sticking with me through this very dark year of my life. Words cannot. Express my gratitude enough. I genuinely still don't believe I deserved. Or was worthy of… any support lol?? Like. It's weird but I really felt like I was just stuck. And deceiving all of you.. cuz I used to be good. But wasn't anymore. And I felt so guilty. But.. things are /finally/ looking up. And I'm going to try! my absolute fucking best! To dig myself fully out of this god damn hole and become a creator worthy of your support again. And.. i actually feel like that's possible for me to do now. Which is. Incredible!

So yeah… Thank you all again. So much.!! I wouldn't be here without you all..That animation I was talking about will probably be uploaded soon! So look forward to that! It's short and kinda nonsense. but… it means something to me. lol. idk… it feels like a first step. If you wanna donate to my ko-fi I'll love you forever.. and it's great to finally feel comfortable asking for money! If anything shows how confident I am it's that lol. and yea! I'm feeling, very optimistic for the future! Which is great. Be prepared. Cuz I'm fucking. Coming back with a vengeance! Or.. uh. A positive attitude but. Vengeance.. positive attitude.. they're basically the same thing yea? Lol

Ok.. I'm gonna wrap this up now lol. Thank you for reading this through to the end. I love you guys. And thanks for sticking with me through these very dark times..  and here's for bluer skies up ahead!!!
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

5 years ago (edited) | [YT] | 192

PepperPixel

Hello there! Do you like my art?? Do you like homestuck? Do you like looking at other peoples oc's? If you like any of these things! Then I strongly reccomend heading over to me and my friend ghastjio's toyhouse page for our fan session Aberration: Odium!!
toyhou.se/Ghastjio/characters/folder:1390839

On that page you can find. Literal fucking bucketloads of my art for these guys. I drew so much stuff. Its unreal. A lot of them are a bit older, from last year. But some of them are really recent! It's a mix! ((Also disclaimer: there are a couple of pics on there drawn by other people! You can see who it was drawn by in the credits section on the pic. But the majority of them were drawn by me))

But yes! This pic is just one of the more recent pics I've drawn for them. But theres tons more on that site. An overwhelming majority of which I'm really proud of! So I'd recommend going and checking it out if you like my art. And thank you so much if you do! Me and ghast are really passionate about these characters. So. finally sharing a lot of this stuff we've done for them in this past year or so with people is very exciting! And. I hope it'll get some of you guys interested in them and their story... because... I love them. Personally. So I'd love it if other people loved them as well lol

((Also. Unrelated.. But thank you all for being so patient and sticking around with me even when I'm not posting videos! I just, Haven't really had a good idea for one yet! Like inspiration hasn't struck. I /am/ gonna try and get back into uploading my regular art on here more again though! That way I'm not just leaving you guys with nothing. But anyway! Yes! Thank you all for sticking with me! You guys are the best 💕💕💕))

5 years ago (edited) | [YT] | 272

PepperPixel

Its Iris' birthday today! So I drew a pic of her to celebrate! Cuz... she's great and I'm lov her.. Also. You may have noticed Ive got a new icon! Cuz. I was already starting to not like my old one lol... This one is a lot simpler tho so I think I'll be using it for a while!
Alsoooo. I finally ordered my new laptop! and it should be here tomorrow! Which. Means that I'll probably be making some more videos and being more active on here again. Which is good lol.

5 years ago (edited) | [YT] | 341

PepperPixel

🍬Say love, Say love, Oh love's gonna get you down!🍬
A pic of ms sweetie I drew today!! Cause she's really fun to draw, And I wanted to mess around a bit with some bright colors!
((Also... I'm sorry there hasn't been a ton of videos lately. I'm working on getting a new laptop and some new equipment to make. More stuff? Like a proper camera and the like. But I'm. Rlly prone to procrastinating.. so its taking me a bit.. Thank you all for sticking with me and being so patient though! It means a lot! 💕💕💕))

5 years ago | [YT] | 503

PepperPixel

Hey! Look at that! Its these two guys! I actually drew this pic a little bit ago, but I kept forgetting to post it over here... So, I'm sorry about that. I hope you guys still enjoy the pic tho! And if you're interested I drew a couple of other pics featuring Clef that you can go look at on my tumblr right here!: pepperpixel.tumblr.com/post/612963054307737600/hel…
Or on my twitter too if you prefer that!:
twitter.com/PepPixel/status/1240385346023632900?s=…

5 years ago | [YT] | 634

PepperPixel

Some art of Able and Iris in a little red riding hood au! First drew and lined these last halloween, But I finally felt like finishing them up yesterday! Also made a short little comic for this au with cain too! Which you can go read on my tumblr here! :
pepperpixel.tumblr.com/post/612489383931756544/som…Or on my twitter if you prefer that lol :
twitter.com/PepPixel/status/1238491942192807943?s=…

5 years ago | [YT] | 569

PepperPixel

Local awful green stink man sleeps in. Wakes up to find all of his friends and forced associates have gone on a boat trip without him, cries self back to sleep.

Anyway this music video has awakened me to how much I love murdoc suffering while everyone else is happy??? Lmao?? Like I love murdoc.. but hes awful, So while I do love seeing him happy. seeing him upset is even better ghfhf. so have some gorillaz fanart! Cuz... I really liked the new music video lmao

5 years ago | [YT] | 461

PepperPixel

Hey. If I made a patreon what sort of stuff would u guys be interested in seeing there? I figure unfinished art or vids (tho vids would be tougher cuz rendering an unfinished vid sounds like. Unnecessary pain on my computer lmao) and wips and stuff. And I could have an end card thanking patrons and stuff. But like. What would you guys like to see me put on a patreon? I'm open to at least considering any thing u guys would want lol

5 years ago | [YT] | 144