At this point the onion is just a much more blunt regular news source I guess
1 week ago | 505
Reporters requests for "sharesies" were denied. Later, the dastardly feds were seen maniacally giggling at an admittedly funny looking cloud when you really look at it.
1 week ago | 125
Increased deployment of Cypress Hill detected on federal vehicle sound systems.
1 week ago | 66
Cop on the left: Did you see that lizard driving that LawnBoy? Cop on the right: Am I real? Fuck. How many feet do I have on my toes, Marco? Cop on the left: POLO! Cop on the right: Yeah. I think that guy across the way is staring at us, and we should get down, get away, and get spaghetti. Cop on the right: Fuck yeah! Spaghetti!
1 week ago | 23
FYI this really happened:💨👨🚒 one time during a drug burn off the wind changed direction... and a fireman was later discovered naked and urinating on the fire, while making a whirring noise like a siren
1 week ago | 40
Not pictured: Innocent passers-by in possession of viewing tickets sold for a mere $10 per person
1 week ago | 22
They didn't show the higher ups on the other side "accidentally" catching fumes
1 week ago | 36
Don't worry about the primo shit. I hear it's more about drone striking innocent fishermen these days.
1 week ago | 6
The demonization of drugs is the greatest abuse of "law and order" that remains commonly accepted. Whatever happened to minding your own business and to live and let live? Oh, pharmaceutical companies and the police state profits-- that's it.
1 week ago (edited) | 8
Footage also appears to show DEA personnel failing a field sobriety test. Random urinalyses have been postponed, according to blitzed sources.
1 week ago | 65
Agents Took Great Precautions to Stay Low and Not Get High, and They Didn't Like the Drugs but the Drugs Liked Them.
1 week ago | 1
The Onion
Huge Quantities Of Primo Shit Incinerated By Feds theonion.com/huge-quantities-of-primo-shit-inciner…
1 week ago | [YT] | 10,476